Is it any wonder?
by no milk left
Summary: What happens when Alex' whole world falls apart? A fanfic set after episode 6.18
1. Trailer

**Here's my new fanfic, it's gonna be totally different from my first. It's set after 6.18, so forget everything that will happen after that episode, cause this is my version. It's mostly focused on Alex, but Stevie of course has a huge part in it too. I hope you like it, and yes I love reviews. Here's the trailer with lyrics from the title track 'Is it any wonder?' by Keane. This song kinda gave me the inspiration to start writing it. Enjoy!

* * *

**

**TRAILER  
**  
What happens ...

When your whole world falls apart?  
When your marriage is build on lies and all your expectations are gone?  
When friendship is lost in something bigger?  
When you are on your own and you try to pick up the pieces of a puzzle you don't seem to understand?

That's where it ends ...or is it just the beginning?

* * *

**IS IT ANY WONDER?  
**A McLeod's daughters fanfic

**Leading roles  
**Aaron Jeffery as Alex Ryan  
Simmone Jade Mackinnon as Stevie Hall

**Supportive roles**  
Michelle Langstone as Fiona Webb-Ryan  
Dustin Clare as Riley Ward  
Zoe Naylor as Regan McLeod

**Guest roles**  
The whole cast of S6

* * *

_'With me and Claire I always knew where we stood.  
At least our expectations were real.'_  
(Alex Ryan, 6.15)_

* * *

I always thought that I knew  
__I'd always have the right to be living in the kingdom of the good and true  
__And so on but now I think I was wrong  
__And you were laughing along  
__And now I look a fool for thinking you were on my side_

_Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand  
__It's hard to know where I am or maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand  
__Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm stranded in the wrong time  
__Where love is just a lyric in children's rhyme, a sound bite_

_Is it any wonder that I'm tired?  
__Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?  
__Is it any wonder I don't know what's right  
__Oh these days? After all the misery made  
__Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?  
__Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?_


	2. Chapter 1: Love is on the line

Disclaimer: They're not mine of course**

* * *

**

**Chapter 1 Love is on the line**

Raindrops were streaming down her window. She watched them fall, making their way down. While she sighed, Stevie just stared at the scene. There was something about this evening that made her sad, and it wasn't just the weather.

She was thinking of Alex and she knew that it was best to ignore these thoughts, but she couldn't. She figured it could be anytime soon that he would find out he wouldn't become a dad. Whatever Fiona would tell him, the truth or another lie, it would hurt him. And she knew, she knew it, but she couldn't do a thing about. It was already too late.

It wasn't the only thing that worried her. After Alex had returned from Argentina she hardly had seen him. He was too focused on Fiona, on the baby and had tried to sort things out with Sandra. She knew that, not cause he told her, no ... because Patrick had said it.

'You will always be a part', he told her on his wedding day. It had broken her heart, like before. He had broken her heart too many times without even knowing it. And maybe it was a good thing that there was some distance, cause she needed to move on. Forget her feelings for him.

She thought about last night. She had found her way of moving on in Riley. He was the distraction she needed. They had kissed and it had confused her, but somehow she was glad that it happened. From the very first moment she thought he had something, something that made him interesting. He was a horse whisperer. The way he handled horses fascinated her. He wasn't the bad guy she always fell for. He was passionate and protective and she couldn't deny the physical attraction.

But still her mind wandered ... could she really get over Alex? Did she have a choice? She needed to get over him; otherwise she would drown in her sorrow. She had to ...

_I tried, I really did, but I couldn't find another way  
__And I want and I need somehow to believe in the choice I made  
__Am I better off this way?  
__But I can hear a voice inside my head  
__Saying you should be with me instead_

* * *

There was strange silence at Killarney. It was dark and it felt cold. You could hear the rain fall, but it got interrupted. Interrupted by the sound of crying.

_Lost, scared and alone  
__Nothing I could give to you_

A black Ute pulled up, as fast as it could ...

_Cold and roaming in the wild  
I'm forever changed  
__By someone I never knew_

Dixie Chicks – Voice inside my head


	3. Chapter 2: Stuck in reverse

**Chapter 2 Stuck in reverse**

It was the next day. Regan was sitting in the kitchen filling in some forms when the phone rang. 'Regan McLeod', she said after picking it up. She didn't got a name in return, only an upset familiar voice and she heard it asking for Stevie. 'Fiona?' 'Where's Stevie?', the girl asked again. Regan could hear the tremble in Fiona's voice and knew what was going on. 'He knows does he? Wait I will get Stevie.' Not even waiting for an answer Regan ran outside. She found the girls at the stables.

Almost out of breath, cause she knew this was important; she could only call her name. 'Stevie!' The redhead turned around and saw Regan's face. 'Fiona on the phone', she uttered. Hearing that Stevie's heart started to beat faster, thinking of what to do, or better; she couldn't really think. In a sec she ran to Regan. 'He knows?' She saw Regan nodding when she ran further to the house. 'What's that about?' Jodi asked her cousin, but she didn't got a reply. Regan only shrugged her shoulders and ran after Stevie. 'Maybe there's something with Alex', Kate said, showing no worry in her voice.

Stevie picked up the phone. 'Fiona!' She could hear the woman on the other side breathe. 'He knows does he!' Stevie asked, although she already knew the answer. Fiona nodded, but the silence said enough. 'Where is he?' 'I don't know'. She could hear the despair in Fi's voice. 'I don't know ... he left ... yesterday evening'. Stevie noticed Fiona started crying, and although she hated her for hurting Alex, it made her realize Fiona really loved him. She knew she had to be very desperate calling her for help. 'Ok, don't worry too much. Alex always runs off with things like these'. Stevie didn't really know how to put it in words. Things like these, the moments he got hurt and confused. She had found him like that more than once. 'I don't know where to find him', Fiona continued the desperate phone call. 'I will go and search for him', with that Stevie finished the call not wanting to end up in a Dr. Phil conversation to support the woman that despised her.

Regan had entered the main house and heard the last part of the call. She could see Stevie's upset face. 'Are you ok?' she asked putting her hand on Stevie's shoulder. Stevie's eyes wandered around, trying to find her peace of mind. 'I'm gonna try to find Alex.' 'Do you want me to come with you?' Regan asked, who figured that wouldn't be a bad idea now Stevie was this upset. But her friend didn't agree on her offer. 'No ... help the girls'. Stevie already grabbed her car keys and wanted to rush out of the house. 'Stevie!'. She looked up at Regan and saw the worry on her friends' face. 'Be careful'. She gave her a soft smile. 'I'll be ok ... as long Alex is.' And with that she left the house.

She drove away in her 1974 Holden Ute and didn't have a clue where to find him.

_... I know she loves you so I understand  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you if you were my own man  
Maybe next lifetime, possibly  
Until then old friend your secret is safe with me _

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? ... Don't cha ...

'Stupid song', she said and turned off the radio. Nice torturing, she thought to herself. Where to go? She just drove, and it took many minutes, maybe even hours ... When she almost was close to give up the search she saw a black Ute near the side of the road. It was still far away, so she wasn't sure if it was his car. But getting closer she knew it was. Her heartbeat was speeding up. She didn't have an idea in what state he would be. As she got out and walked to his Ute she saw his legs near the side of the car, in the grass.

She took a deep sigh before she moved closer and there he was, sitting, leaning against his car. Empty beer cans were lying in the grass, surrounding him. His face, covered with some dirt, tears and rain, didn't looked up. Though she guessed Alex must have heard her car. She didn't know exactly what to do. Somehow she was scared, scared what would come next. But he was her friend and she wanted to comfort him. 'Alex?' No reply, she moved closer and she could see he was staring at her boots. 'Can I come and sit with you?' He nodded.

Stevie sat down next to him, carefully. Her hand covered her mouth for a moment. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she could hardly look at him and she sighed. What could she say? He looked up at her. She could see his red eyes, the tears that had streamed down his face. She pressed her lips on each other.

'Alex', she murmured, but she couldn't find words. He shivered a bit from the grief that had taken over his whole body. She lay her hand on his knee, turning towards him. And she figured words were useless, maybe just being here was enough.

_And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go_

Alex felt new tears entering his eyes when he looked at his best mate. She was here. He could feel her hand on his knee. He could see the sorrow in her eyes, but there was something more. He let his head rest on her shoulder, and he could feel her hands carefully start to hold him. 'It's ok', she whispered. He closed his eyes. She felt the distress, the guilt of not telling him and she cried.

_Tears stream down on your face  
__I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
__Tears stream down your face  
__And I will try to fix you_

It was than when Alex started to think. He had tried it whole night and day but his mind seemed to be blocked. She was the only one left. Claire died, Harry died, Nick and Tess were gone, Charlotte, Dave had moved away and Fiona ... the so-called child he never had ... He didn't knew if he could ever forgive her. Everything had changed, and he didn't understood why she had lied. He felt like a fool. His thoughts were with Stevie again. She had always been there for him; she always had tried to comfort him after all his loses. And now she was the only one left. He raised his head again, and stared into her eyes.

_The tears come streaming down your face  
__When you lose something you can't replace  
__When you love someone but it goes to waste _

Stevie didn't have a clue what went through his mind. She couldn't even make sense of her own feelings. Once again Alex saw more than just sorrow. The look in her eyes confused him, but he couldn't resist touching her face. Like he needed something that was real. They gazed, and she could see something change in his expression. He was so close, but so far away. It was like he was studying her face. She could feel his thumb touching it and for a moment she just let it be.

_Could it be worse?_

Radio: Pussycat dolls – Don't cha  
Coldplay – Fix you


	4. Chapter 3: Fool for thinking

**Chapter 3 Fool for thinking**

Stevie looked away. This was getting too much for her. Alex sensed it and took his fingers of her face. What was he doing anyway? He saw another tear running down her face and he didn't really know why it was there. He didn't know anything at the moment. He sat back, leaning against his car. Their eyes met again, and Stevie tried to show a soft smile. The last thing she wanted to do was confuse him even more.

He tried to talk; he wanted her to know what happened. 'I ... Fiona ...' His voice trembled when he said her name. 'Fi ... she lied ... she never been ...'. He bitted his lip, hearing himself say the truth, was something he couldn't. He looked at her again, shivering, quickly weeping away the salt wetness on his cheek. 'She ...', he tried again, but the words couldn't leave his mouth. Stevie couldn't stand seeing him like this. He lay his head on her shoulder again. In the hope it would make him find words. But again he failed. 'It's ok ... I know'. Alex moved up a bit, and looked at her.

_I've been waiting for you to bring a fairytale my way  
Been living in a fantasy without meaning  
It's not okay _

'You know?' All of a sudden Stevie realized what she just had said, and it frightened her. 'You know?' Alex asked again. He hoped she would tell him that somehow she had just heard it and had left to find him, but the silence remained, and he knew that wasn't the case. 'You knew!' His voice changed, his eyes, his expression. Stevie could only bit her lip; she couldn't say a thing, not a single thing that would change this. He could see it in her eyes and he moved back immediately. He felt anger taking over the grief. 'Go away!'.

The way he said it startled her. 'Alex ...' She could see the anger in his eyes, he breathed heavy. 'Go!' She stood up, and looked at him again. 'I'm so sorry, I ... I tried to tell you.' Her eyes were filled with tears; the sadness was painted on her face. 'You knew this all the time!' He looked at her furious. Stevie stood there helpless, taking another step backwards, but she didn't want to leave him. She wanted to explain, but he didn't let her. He looked down, enraged, hoping if he would ignore her she would leave. That was it, the only one that was left, had betrayed him too.

She watched him. 'Alex ... if you need someone ...' But before she could finish her sentence he looked up at her fiery.

_Left broken empty in despair  
__Wanna breathe can't find air  
__Thought you were sent from up above  
B__ut you and me never had love_

'The one I need is dead!'. He yelled it at her, and threw one of the empty beer cans. Tears were streaming down her face and she ran to her car. She couldn't even remember how she got away, she just did.

_So much more I have to say  
__Help me find a way_

When Stevie finally got to Drovers, her face was still red. She could hardly stop crying. Quickly she went inside, hoping the girls or Riley wouldn't be there. But Jodi, Kate and Regan were sitting along the kitchen table. It seemed like they had waited for her to come home. Her hand was covering her face, trying to brush away the tears. Trying not to show it. They stared at her. 'Stevie, you're ok?' Jodi asked. 'I'm going to my room'. And she left the kitchen. She heard Regan call her name. 'What's going on?' Jodi asked looking at Regan. 'Just give her some time.' 'What's really going on?' Jodi repeated.

Kate and Jodi looked questioned at Regan and she knew she had to tell them something. She thought for a moment. 'She probably found Alex'. Of course this didn't helped the girls any further. She took a deep breath. 'Fiona faked the pregnancy and he found out.' 'What?' Kate asked in disbelieve. 'Why on earth?' 'She panicked', Regan said quickly. 'You knew?' 'Yeah Stevie and I knew'. She looked away cause she felt shame, shame that she had knew this all along.

'How?' Was their next question, but Riley interrupted them. He had just walked in. 'Hey ladies, I see Stevie's Ute, she's back?' When the girls looked at him, he knew there was something wrong. 'Is she ok?' Regan gave him a stare. 'Uhm she will be.' 'Oh cause I still needed to talk to her about the training session for tomorrow ...' The girls looked at each other. They didn't wanted to tell him anything, cause he didn't knew a thing about Alex. He probably had seen him only once. Than Jodi decided to clear her throat. 'We'll tell her. She'll probably gets back on that one tomorrow'. The way the girls looked at Riley, told him he had to leave and not to ask any more questions. It made him worry about her. He had hardly seen Stevie after they'd kissed and he had no clue where they were standing at all. And now this. Why didn't anyone told him what was really going on?

It was getting late and Fiona was still at Killarney. She didn't dare to call Drovers. She hadn't wanted to do it in the first place, but she was desperate. He had left the house so quickly that she didn't have a chance to explain. She hoped he would come back, but she was afraid that she'd lost him for good or that she had pushed him right into Stevie's arms. Maybe that was even her biggest fear. She knew that Stevie was in love with him. Though Alex only saw her as his best mate, sometimes Fiona thought there was more. He always wanted her around, he did everything for her ...

He wanted to have a talk when her mother was visiting and he had been with Stevie the whole night. And than she had told him she was pregnant. Oh, how desperate she had been. She didn't want to, it just happened. Just like the miscarriage she faked. What else could she do? She was in it too deep.

She heard the door and with a shock she sat right up in the couch. Was that Alex? She stood up when she saw him enter the living room. 'Alex!' He didn't look at her. He had hoped she wouldn't be here, and intended just to get some stuff. 'You're back!' There was some hope in her voice. He rushed to the cupboard. 'Please, Alex let me explain', Fiona tried to move closer to him. 'I'm so sorry, I didn't wanted this to happen. I didn't want to lie. You have to believe me.' Her words reached his ears, but he tried to ignore them.

Alex opened one of the drawers, took his passport, some papers and money. Opening the next drawer he saw a picture lying on top of a pile of papers. It was a picture taken in Melbourne, years ago ... him, Claire, holding little Charlotte. He had felt a sting right through his heart. It was his first family he lost, and now he was loosing his second.

He could feel her hand grabbing his arm. Begging for attention, but he just stared at the picture. Although he hadn't the intention to talk to her, he now couldn't resist asking. In one move he looked straight at her, right into her blue eyes, soaked with tears. It scared her for a moment. 'Why did you lied about something I so badly wanted!' A family, children ... 'I ... I ...', she could feel her body shake, how could she say this, '... I thought I would loose you. I didn't wanted to, really.' It had enraged him. How on earth could she have thought lies would make him stay?

'I was so scared ...', Fiona uttered. She could see in his eyes that her words hadn't any positive effect at all. ' ... Have it ever occurred to you that I just love you. That we could have worked things out!' It made her cry even more. She hadn't trust him, she still wasn't sure she could trust him. 'I just ... I can't give you what you want, I can't give you a family!' It was so hard for Alex to hear it. He so wanted to believe it didn't have changed a thing if she had just told him, but becoming a dad was something he longed for. Maybe it had, anything better than finding it out like this. He looked away again, into the drawer. Taking out the picture and wanted to walk away, but she followed him.

_Why do you play me like a game?  
Always someone else to blame  
Careless, helpless woman  
Someday you might understand  
There's not much more to say  
But I hope you find a way _

In a final attempt to let him stay Fiona grabbed his arm again. 'She knew it, she didn't told you either.' She knew this was low, but she was desperate, again. He just had to know that Stevie had known it all along. 'Even before our wedding'. Alex had stopped for a moment, but he didn't thought she was worth a look. He tried to get rid of her holding him, almost reaching the front door of Killarney. 'Please, Alex, don't go!', she screamed. He swung his arm and the power had thrown her to the ground. The result had shocked both of them, but he couldn't be here any second longer.

She lay on the ground, crying full tears and saw him leave. The door was wide open and he stepped into his Ute, driving away for the second time.

_Still I wonder if you know how it really feels  
__To be left outside alone when it's cold out here  
__Well maybe you should know just how it feels to be left outside alone_

Anastacia - Left outside alone


	5. Chapter 4: Pieces of a dream

**_Thanks for your reviews. Next bit made me cry while writing and I hope I wrote down some of the emotions taht made me cry yeah yeah weak spot for Alex ;)_**

**Chapter 4 Pieces of a dream**

Alex drove away. There was hardly any thought that came clear to him. It was a blur. His view on the road was covered with tears.

In the middle of the night Alex stopped his Ute, still far from the hill. It was the only place he wanted to be at the moment, or maybe it wasn't, cause he knew the place he wanted to be was not an option. At least this was close, it felt close. He walked upon the hill, hearing his own footsteps. The silence of the night, in the light of the moon.

He looked down, and couldn't suppress another tear leaving his eyes. Alex kneeled down, staring at the headstone in front of him. His right hand stretched out, reaching for it. His fingers touched it and softly followed the symbols on it.

_In loving memory  
__Claire Louise  
__McLeod  
__1973-2003_

_Cherished daughter  
__Beloved sister  
__Loving mother_

His fingers touched the last letter and he wondered why it stopped here. There was no sign of best mate, no sign of lover. Nothing that remembered their friendship, their love. It was the first time he had noticed it. Alex hardly had visited Claire's grave, but realizing this made him cry, not holding back one single tear.

Nothing left ... only his memories and his feelings reminded of their love. He took out the picture that he had in the left pocket of his jacket. He held it with both hands, and touched it. This was real. This was so real. It was something to hold on to, something he would always nourish deep inside his heart.

And he needed her, he needed her so badly. He wished for her arms to hold him and there was nothing here. For a moment he saw a light, a star, maybe a falling star. He didn't know, but for one second he stared to the sky.

And he wondered why. Why it should have happened to him? What's the use of living with no true lover? For a moment he wanted to scream out her name, but he didn't had the energy anymore. You were my true love and it's all gone, it's all fading away.

_I thought I saw you late last night, but it was just a flash of light  
An angel passing  
But I remember yesterday  
Life before you went away  
And we were laughing _

I could see it clearly once when you were here with me  
Now somehow all that's left are pieces of a dream

Now I'm lost in restless nights  
Just a whisper of the life that we created  
Shadows falling, I am calling

_The faded photographs  
__The frames of broken glass  
__The shattered memories  
__Time will soon erase  
__All these souvenirs  
__Salt from a thousand tears  
__But when I wake up you are never there_

It was early in the morning when Alex woke up. He could taste the salt from the tears on his lips. He glared at the sun that had just touched the sky. He didn't know how he had fallen a sleep, but he saw the gravestone. There he was, all alone.

... at Drovers ...

Stevie hardly said a thing the whole day. Regan tried to talk to her, but all she got was an 'it's doesn't matter anymore'. It was simply the way Stevie felt. She could still see his face when he screamed out the one he needed was dead. He was right, she told herself. She kept it a secret from him, she kept her feelings a secret. She was just as bad as Fiona. Sighing deeply, she knew she lost him, her best mate, her love. The only thing she could do is look after Drovers and forget it.

She was standing near the fencing of the brumbies, leaning with her back to the partition. Riley was training one of them, just making her run rounds at a gallop, holding the rope. In a distance she could hear him give the horse some cheers. 'Stevie, can you take it over for a moment?' Riley turned around when he didn't got an answer. He saw her just standing there. He tied the rope to a post and walked to her, climbing a step on the fencing. 'Hey Steves', he said leaning next to her, 'are you anywhere near this planet today? Cause I could use some help.' Finally he saw her move, biting her lip, she hardly looked a side. 'Stevie, you're ok?' She looked at him and placed a fake smile on her face. 'You know what, we just gonna finish it for today. Wildflower is making a lot of progress anyway.'

She just saw him leading the horse to another fencing and without really thinking she just walked along with him. 'Soww...' He looked at her, as she still was watching the brumbies. 'Is there any chance you gonna tell me what is bothering you? You know, I'm a good listener. Ask the horses. They never complain.' She had turned her head and softly smiled to him, but he could still see the sadness. She shrugged her shoulders, as she moved her mouth.

They had taken a seat on one of the hay bales in the old shed. Riley looked at her, but Stevie seemed to be lost in her own little world. 'Wanna talk about it?' He tried again. She looked up at him, when she was playing with her shirt. She shook her head. 'There's not much to say...' than she looked in the distance, her lips moving, and her eyes started to fill with tears. 'I've made a mess and I don't know how to make it right again'. He didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but it was good she said something. She had never cried in front of Riley, but at this moment she didn't cared about it at all, she didn't cared about a thing. She looked at him with an expression that was lost.

'Hey, it can't be that bad'. She looked away again and Riley figured that wasn't really the best thing he could have said. Some times horses were a lot easier. So he stick to what he knew and lay his hand on her back, softly rubbing it. She looked at him again as she liked it, and moved closer to lean against him. 'It's gonna be okay'. He held her and somehow it was what she needed.

Than she stared at him, and their eyes were locked. They moved closer and kissed. They both didn't really know what was going on. Riley stopped the kiss and looked at her, he didn't wanted to take advantage of her know she seemed so vulnerable. But she touched his face and longed for his embrace ... and his kiss. So she kissed him again and it got more intense, passionate. Her hands went to his body and once again Riley broke it off. 'I don't think this is a good idea, Stevie.' She looked at him with a soft smile, tears in her eyes, and inside she felt miserable. She didn't want him to reject her too. 'Can you stay with me?', she uttered. They went to Riley's place at the quarters.

Stevie was staring at the wall, feeling his arms around her. They were lying in his bed, and yes they've gone all the way. She didn't regret it, cause it felt like the right distraction. She could feel him placing a kiss on her shoulder. It was good having someone's arms around her, but it also made her sad. Cause deep down inside she knew she was dreaming of someone else's arms.

_... all that's left are pieces of a dream_

  
Anastacia - Pieces of a dream


	6. Chapter 5: Everything I know fades away

**Chapter 5 Everything I know fades away**

It was the next day when Kate and Jodi were sitting at the table on the veranda. Sharing a tea moment the two girls couldn't resist talking about the whole Alex situation. 'I still can't believe they knew it all along.' Jodi stared at her cup. 'Yeah I know, I can't either. It's not strange Alex is mad at her', Kate replied, thinking of what to do in such a situation. 'Well, Stevie sure is acting strange.' That brought a thought to Kate's mind. 'Hey, did you ..', she wondered, '... did you see Stevie yesterday evening, just after diner?' Jodi shook her head in denial, not knowing what Kate was thinking about, but she could see at her friend's face there was something up.

'And Riley?' 'What?' Jodi asked already getting a glimpse of what Kate was aiming at. 'Well I know Riley was training Wildflower, but after that ... ' Kate gave her a meaningful stare. 'They finished early and uh ... when I saw Stevie again she was coming from the quarters and when I got to my room I could hear Riley being home.' 'Nooo', Jodi said surprised and excited. 'You don't think they ... no way ... I know they get along pretty well, but isn't he a bit young for her?' They both had move a bit closer to the table. 'Well, remember that Leo guy.' Kate rested her case. Jodi sunk in her chair again, a bit overwhelmed by it. 'Maybe she has developed a thing for young blokes lately.'

They got interrupted by Stevie and Regan, who joined them. And both hoped Stevie hadn't heard anything of their previous conversation. 'Ah tea, I can use that', Regan said while sitting down. Jodi and Kate still shared glances. Jodi couldn't resist making a comment, while she poured tea in two cups. 'Where's Riley by the way?' For a moment she looked at Stevie, who was holding her hat playfully, which seemed to give her some distraction from whatever thought that tried to enter her mind. 'Oh he's at the back, training Wildflower.' 'Ah ...', Jodi looked at Kate. 'So uh, Wildflower is going great?' The little one tried to sound truly interested though that other thing drew her attention way more. Stevie nodded. 'Yep, she's going perfect.'

At that moment they could hear a motorbike on the property. Not much later Patrick entered the scene. 'Hey ladies, hey Kate'. He gave her a quick kiss and Kate looked at him pleased. 'What brought you here?' She asked. 'You of course ... and I had to pick something up for Moira.' Jodi, who watched the two lovebirds gazing at each other, tried to get the young Brewer's attention. 'Patrick ...', surprisely quick he looked at her, '... have you've seen Alex lately?' 'Uhm ...', Patrick though for a moment, '... I saw him yesterday.' The girls were all surprised Patrick had seen him, and that it sounded like the most normal thing.

'Well, how was he?' Kate asked. 'Oh, yeah, I don't know. He was acting I bit strange I guess. He asked for Dave's address.' 'Dave's address?' Regan almost choked in her tea. 'Did he say why?' Again Patrick gave them an unknown look. 'I guess he wanted to visit him? What? Is there something wrong?' The girls looked at each other. Stevie was remarkable quiet. 'Uhm ... I will tell you later', Kate said quickly. 'Okay, I have to go anyway, was kinda in a hurry', Patrick said not really aware of the tension. He gave Kate another kiss and got back to his motorbike.

'Dave and Alex hey ...', Jodi said. Stevie and Regan were the last ones who wanted to say a thing about these two men. 'Well isn't it a good thing Alex is going to Dave?' Kate asked, but hardly got any response, though her blonde friend's mind was working overtime. 'Shouldn't we call Dave to know Alex is there?' Jodi's curiosity was always her specialty. And also this time she couldn't resist wondering about all the details. 'Shouldn't we?', she said again and looked at Regan, who gave her a refused look. 'I'm not gonna call'. Dave had just moved away to Adelaide, and she was one of the reasons he had accepted the job offer over there. It kinda made sense to Jodi, so she gave Stevie a look.

The red one shook her head. 'No way, if Alex is there ...' Probably one of the last persons Alex would want to talk to was her. Well, Fiona was probably on the top of his list. Kate already felt Jodi's questioning look. 'Why me?' She said annoyed. 'Well, cause nobody is volunteering and it's your brother-in-law ... to be.' Kate gave her another stare, knowing she was the one that needed to call him.

Not much later Jodi appeared with the phone and Dave's phone number in her hands. 'Here you go!', she said pleased. Kate was irritated by Jodi's excited voice. She took a deep breath while the girls were watching her.

'Hey Dave, it's Kate.' Immediately you could hear Dave's surprised voice. 'Kate?' For a moment he was flabbergasted. 'Uhm, already settled Dave?' Kate was unsure about what to say. Jodi stared at her, making a 'get past these boring details and get to the point' move with her hands when she could hear a conversation starting up. Kate wanted to ignore it and talked along with Dave about his new apartment and job. Jodi sighed. 'Let me ...', she took the phone and Kate could only say quickly that Jodi would take over.

Annoyed she looked at her friend, who settles the phone near her ear. 'Dave, it's me Jodi, don't mind Kate's babbling. Why we are calling is ... uh ... is Alex there?' It was the most logical question she could come up with. 'Alex?' 'Yeah, you know that tall Ryan guy (also known as the big idiot) you used to live with'. 'Jodi!', Kate uttered. But her friend totally ignored it and continued her investigation, but all she got were no's. 'You're sure he didn't call you?' 'I'm 100 sure', Dave said. 'Why? Is there something wrong?' Jodi thought for a moment. She needed to give him a short version.

She looked at Stevie while she tried to make a short understandable story. 'Yeah I know, he should have been there by now.' She nodded a view times. 'Ok, call me when you hear anything.'

The girls looked questionable at their blonde friend. 'Nothing', there was some concern and disappointment in her voice. 'But that doesn't make sense', Kate said immediately. 'Yeah I know, if he really left yesterday, he would have been there even before the night.' 'Maybe he changed his mind?', Regan wondered. 'Why would he, where else can he go?' They could see Stevie's eyes filling with tears. She hated the moments when Alex just left and there was no way of contacting him. The fact he had done it a few times before should have made her not worry too much, but she did. She'd seen the state he had been in and deep down inside she felt there was something wrong. She heard his last words echoing in her head. She couldn't take it and stood up making her way inside the house, leaving the girls looking at each other.

At that same moment a police car drove on the entranceway of Killarney. Fiona could hear a car door close. Not much later she heard the doorbell. When Fiona opened the door she saw sergeant Toni standing in front of her and immediately the despair took over her body. Toni took a deep breath, after all these years he never got used to such visits. 'Mrs. Ryan ... I have some bad news.'


	7. Chapter 6: Give it time

**Chapter 6 Give it time**

flashback  
_'It's not such a terrible thought is it?'  
_'_What?'  
_'_Settling down, having children. You never know how long you got, do you?'  
_'_Well it hasn't worked out for me so far'  
_'_It will'  
_'_How do you know?'  
_'_Just give it time'  
_flashback 

Stevie was staring out of the hospital window. It all had gone so fast. When they heard about Alex this afternoon, Regan and her had taken the car right away to drive to Adelaide: Royal Adelaide Hospital, waiting outside the intensive car. All kinds of thoughts had run through her mind, anything that reminded her of Alex. And she still didn't know in what kind of state he was; well he was in a coma, but what his chances were? Nothing was sure for the moment.

Stevie shook up out of her thoughts. 'Here you go', Regan handed a cup of coffee, but Stevie still stared into the distance when she took the cup. 'Stevie?' Regan asked again, looking close at her. 'Are you ok?' Stevie turned to her, sighing deep, and shrugged her shoulders. Okay? How on earth could she be okay? Her best mate was fighting for his live, the lover she never had, and thinking of the fact their last words had covered a fight, she couldn't think of him dying. He couldn't, not now, not like this. She took a small swung of her coffee. 'Any news yet?' Regan asked. Stevie shook her head. 'Where's Dave?' 'Oh he just went home, to prepare some stuff for tonight. He will be back soon.'

Dave had gone to the hospital right after he had heard the news of his mate, wandering in the corridor for what felt like hours, but he didn't knew much more. After all he wasn't family, and the doctors seemed busy enough. He had a quick talk with Fiona, but the girl seemed in a shock and could hardly say a thing. 'I'm so sorry', was the only thing that left her mouth. A nurse had tried to calm her down, till the moment her mother had arrived. They waited in a guestroom a floor beneath.

'You're okay with seeing Dave?' Stevie asked. 'Well, that doesn't matter at the moment.' Regan had felt weird seeing him, it was strange for both. But the situation made them get along with it for the moment. 'Why isn't there anyone telling us something?' Regan looked around.

The swing doors went open and a small dark haired nurse came through. Immediately Stevie handed Regan her coffee and rushed to the nurse. 'Nurse, is there any news about Alex Ryan?' The girl stopped and thought for a moment. 'I can't say anything about your husband. You have to wait until the doctor comes.' Stevie stared for a moment. 'He's not my husband, I'm a friend.' The comment had made her heart beat even faster.

Stevie showed her hand and introduced herself. 'I'm Stephanie Hall, but you can call me Stevie.' The nurse took her hand. 'I'm nurse Carter, just say Carly'. She added a soft comforting smile, and already felt for the upset red head. 'But I'm sorry, I can't tell anything about Mr. Ryan. But I'm sure the doctor will be with you soon. If there's anything else I can do?' Stevie shook her head, a bit disappointed. 'You know what. I shall ask if Dr. Neill has time to talk to you.'

It wasn't much later that a handsome young man, in a doctor overcoat appeared. 'Good evening, I guess you're Mr. Ryan's friends?' Dave had joined the girls and the three watched the man, as he introduced himself. 'I'm dr. Neill, Lucas Neill.' He shook hands and Regan looked at Dave for a moment. This doctor was very young. He noticed it and immediately added that there were more doctors looking after Alex.

Stevie could hardly breath, just watching his lips move. 'We've run some tests and it's probably mostly the bang that brought him in a coma. It doesn't look like he has any internal complications, but we only can be sure about that when he wakes up.' The brown haired doctor looked calm, and very assure, surely for someone so young. Regan doubted if he was even pass thirty. 'What are his chances?' Dave asked. 'Well, we don't know exactly. The most important thing is that he gets out of his coma. The sooner the better. He's stable right now, so he's not in mortal danger. But you never know, there always can occur a complication, but we'll look after him and try the best we can to make him better.'

'Can I see him?' Stevie uttered. Tears were in her eyes again, and the words of Lucas were taken in slowly. The fact he told her Alex was stable, didn't meant much to her. She wanted to see it for herself. 'Well ...', Lucas' attention got focused on Stevie, '... I think it's better for all to take some rest. It's already pretty late, and tomorrow we probably can say more about his situation.' He could see the disappointment in her eyes, and he tried to make it sound better. 'At this moment I think it's best to only let his relatives visit him, but you can see him first thing in the morning.' Dave had put his hand on Stevie shoulder, to let her know this was probably the best. It had been a long day.

The doctor excused himself and left the three behind. 'Well at least he's stable', Dave said. Stevie had turned around and her teary eyes looked at him, a second later she burst out in tears. Dave looked worried at her and led her into his arms. 'Come on Steves, I'm sure he's just gonna be fine. He's strong you know.' Stevie felt the comforting arms of Dave's holding her, and her head was leaning against his shoulder, tears were running down her face. She had tried to be strong these last couple of hours, but right now she couldn't be any longer. Dave gazed at Regan for a moment.

He took her face into his hands and looked down at her, the most comforting expression showed upon his face, 'It's good news so far. Hey ..', he brushed away a tear of her cheek with his thumb. '... you know Alex, he won't just leave like this, not without annoying us first. Just give it time. We'll visit him in the morning.' Stevie smiled softly through her tears, thinking of how annoying Alex could be. 'Well, come on, let's go home.'

_They say timing is everything but nothing you control  
'Cause there's always tomorrow  
But tomorrow never knows  
It's one day at a ...  
Time keeps running away  
No matter what's left behind it keeps on moving  
Tomorrow is not in today  
And all of your yesterdays are only a matter of  
Time_

Anastacia - Time


	8. Chapter 7: Ways and means

**Chapter 7 Ways and means**

Dave and Regan where standing in Dave's living room. Stevie had already gone to sleep, pushed a bit by her friends who were worried about her. 'I hope she can get some sleep', Dave said, when he sat down on one of the chairs. Regan didn't really know how to behave. It still felt strange to be with him after their last fight. See regretted every moment of it, but Regan knew they weren't meant to be. It would never have worked out.

Finally she sat down on the couch. 'You know I can take the couch', she said, still feeling a bit uncomfortable he was doing so much effort for making her and Stevie feel at home, while he hardly had been here for a week. And his apartment surely looked like it. Dave didn't have a spare bed yet and so she and Stevie slept in his bed. 'I don't think Stevie will appreciate it when I sleep next to her', Dave smirked for a moment. It had something comforting in it. Regan smiled a bit uneasy, cause she hadn't thought about that.

'I hope she will be okay, I hope Alex will be okay.' Dave nodded. 'Yeah, she's really upset.' 'I think she blames herself for what happened', Regan showed another worried look. 'It's not her fault Fiona lied'. Dave had heard most of the story and he didn't understood Fiona's lie at all. Why did she lie about something Alex wanted so badly? They would get married anyway. But then he remembered the talk he had with Alex, just a couple of days before the wedding.

'_You know Dave, it's funny with me and Claire. I always knew where we stood. At least our expectations where real. You know, like good mates.'_ Dave could hear himself say his last line of the conversation; '... it's time for a chat.' Then he remembered Stevie's call and seeing the look on Fiona's face when Alex went to Drovers.

'Dave?' Regan saw an absentminded man in front of her. 'Oh ...', he shook up from his thoughts. 'What you're thinking?', she asked. 'Uhm, nothing ... well just a chat I had with Alex just a few nights before the wedding.' It made Regan giving him even a more questioning look. 'Well, don't mind'. He waved it away, but it kept playing on his mind.

'Well, I hope Alex gets better, cause I don't think Stevie can handle anything else', Regan said again to get the conversation going. Not just to do that, but also because she really could use a chat. 'Well they've always been close after Claire died. I'm sure they will get pass this.' But Regan wasn't that sure, there was so much more and it seemed Dave didn't had a clue. But the blonde bloke could sense Regan's thoughts somehow.

'You're not giving me the whole package, are you?' He sat up a bit more, lowering his voice. Regan hesitated for a moment, but knew Dave was the right person to talk to. She shook her head, looking down. 'He means so much more to her.' It was all she said but it was all Dave needed. 'You say she's in love with him?' Regan nodded. 'Wow ... really. Well didn't saw that coming, or well ..', he gave it a second thought and it kind of started to make sense to him.

He tossed all thoughts around. 'And Fiona knows, does she?' Once again he got a nod back. 'Ah ...', he shook his head a bit surprised, like it all came clear to him. 'What?', Regan asked really intrigued by his way of acting. He looked straight at her. 'He kinda, well Alex, he was a bit overwhelmed by all the stories about Fiona when her mum visited. I think he had some second thoughts, cause he realized he didn't know her that well. He wanted to talk to her, but than he had to go to Drovers to shear the sheep.' '... all night', Regan added. She remembered it. 'She probably wasn't happy with that.' Dave agreed. 'Yeah, spending a whole night with Stevie. And I don't think that changed his mind.' Regan was impressed. 'She must really have been afraid loosing him...' '... to Stevie.'

They both looked at each other, and the conversation made all strange feelings between them go away, cause they felt they were on the same track. 'Do you think Alex ever ... you know with Stevie?' Dave thought for a moment. 'Well, I'm not sure. Has Stevie ever told you something about the day before Tess and Nick's wedding?' 'No, why?', Regan hadn't a clue where Dave was aiming at. 'Well, okay, maybe I'm totally wrong, but I always had that suspicion there happened something between them that day, but well maybe it was just the alcohol that confused me.' He remembered the combined party and smiled to himself. Yeah that was a fun evening.

'No, never ...' Dave stared in front of him. 'I don't know, Alex ... he ... Fiona isn't really the kind of girl he would really fall for, not like Claire ... at all.' 'Well that's an understatement', Regan said smirking. 'Yes indeed'. Regan absorbed his smile. 'Stevie more is', they both concluded.

They realized it was best to leave all thoughts behind and get some rest, cause this day had been exhausting, both physical as mental.

Stevie walked into the hospital room, but within a sec she saw the bed was empty. It didn't seemed like anyone was around and it frightened her. Where was Alex? She touched the sheets on the bed for a moment, like it would give her a sign, or to feel if it was still warm. But she saw and could feel it were clean sheets.

All of a sudden she felt someone's presence behind her. She turned around, expecting some of the hospital staff, but with a deep sigh she looked into his deep blue eyes. 'Alex?', she murmured. She was perplexed. There was nothing wrong with him. He looked as healthy as he could be. Alex smiled at her and Stevie could feel happiness fill her body. 'You're better, when, how?' But he moved closer, not giving an answer with his voice, just taking her hand. She looked at it for a moment, whispering his name again. Than she realized there was something awkward about the situation. Before he looked up, she felt his fingers touching her face. With a shiver she looked at him again, hardly daring to breath. He bended down, coming even closer. She could feel his warmth. A moment later she felt his tender lips touching hers, and she could feel the passion expanding, while he deepened the kiss. She was totally overwhelmed.

She felt him slip away, and as she opened her eyes again she didn't saw him. She looked around, but there was no one. Upset she ran to the door, upon the hallway and looked both ways, but no one was there. 'Alex!' She shouted, but there was no reply. She ran further down the corridor, and it felt like everything got whiter. She saw a bright overwhelming white light at the end of the hallway, still screaming his name. 'Alex!'

She felt an arm upon her shoulder, shaking her softly. 'Stevie, Stevie'. She opened her eyes, and noticed she was soaked in sweat. Looking next to her there was Regan, watching all worried. 'You're okay? Did you had a bad dream?' Stevie could hardly say a thing, realizing it was all a dream. She breathed heavy and nodded. 'Oh, poor girl'. Regan pulled her in an embrace and it made Stevie cry.


	9. Chapter 8: Truth the only key

**Chapter 8 Truth the only key**

_I've hardly been outside my room in days  
'Cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays  
And it was then I realized that conscience never fades_

It was the next morning and Regan, Dave and Stevie got to the hospital. They had been told Alex had moved to another room on the ward, cause he came through the night well and was out of life danger. They had to wait until they could see him, cause Fiona was with him. Dave suggested taking a walk.

Fiona was sitting at his bedside, totally broken from tears and insomnia. Trudy was standing next to her and it broke her heart to see her daughter like this. Fiona finally had come clear with the fact she also lied about her infertility and her mother really worried about her. How could she have come up with all of this, without thinking of the consequences?

The doctor had encouraged them to just act normal around Alex and talk to him. Anything that could bring him back ...

_I was comfortable and warm inside my shell  
And couldn't see this place would soon become my hell_

'Alex, please you have to wake up', she stared to the same view for a long time and there was never a move. She hoped so much he would give her a sign, a soft move of his eyelids or fingers. But it stayed the same, no sign at all. Trudy lay her hand on Fiona's shoulder. 'Come hun, let's get some fresh air, and maybe you should get some sleep too.' She looked up with eyes red from tears. 'I can't just leave him like this', she uttered, though she knew sitting with him for this whole morning didn't made him better. 'Come, you can't just sit here all day Fi, we'll see him later'. Her mother softly pushed Fiona outside.

_So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?  
Well I guess the answer is, don't do it in the first place_

The three friends had just entered the hallway when they saw Trudy and Fiona coming out of the room. 'Fiona', Stevie uttered. Okay she wasn't fond of seeing her, both weren't but at this moment they knew they wanted the same thing; Alex to get better. 'How is he?' Fiona had stopped moving and her mother's arms supported her. She tried to say something, but her voice seemed to be blocked.

Stevie could see the misery all over her face, and it made her almost cry, but she fought back the tears. 'He's ... he just lays there. It feels like it isn't him.' Before Fiona could burst out in tears again her mother took her with her. 'She really needs to calm down and get some rest', she said softly to Alex' friends, when they walked away. Dave blew. 'Geesh, she's indeed a mess.' 'Well, I would be if I was her', Regan said, with a bit sarcasm to it.

After having a short talk with one of the nurses on the ward they decided to see Alex. 'You want me to come with you?' Dave asked looking at Stevie, who was determined to go inside, but also scared of what she would see. The red nodded. 'Okay, you're ready?'

They walked into the room and it was mostly the displays and device that surrounded Alex his bed that first caught their eyes. Stevie breathed in deeply before she took a few more steps to the bed. Her eyes were filled with tears, the sad expression covered her whole face, and she pushed her lips together tightly. Dave followed every move she made; to be sure she could handle it and stayed away from the bed a bit. The glimpse of his friend did a lot to him. How he hated hospitals.

She looked at him, lying there peacefully. Like there was no worry on his mind. She saw the bruises on the left side of his face, but she couldn't see them that well, cause she stood at the right side of the bed. Her hand moved before her mouth as she took in the whole picture, the hospital equipment that followed every little detail of Alex.

'Alex', she murmured. She couldn't say much. Stevie looked at Dave, who gave her a supporting gaze, though it was hard for him as well. He sighed, 'you want to have some time alone?' Stevie thought for a moment, this was all so surreal, but she agreed. He smiled softly at her, touching her arm. 'I'll be just around the corner if you need me.' A forced smile shone through her sadness. 'Thanks Dave'.

She saw him move out of the room and looked back at her friend. Fiona was right; it didn't really felt like him. She missed his annoying smirk that covered his face so very often. She sat down on the stool next to Alex. Her fingers played with the bedside, cause she didn't had a clue what to say or do and she hardly could look at him. She took another deep breath and stared at his face, biting her lip like it could hold back her tears.

_When you're young you have this image of your life  
That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife  
And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross_

'Alex ...' she paused searching for words, 'you don't know how sorry I am. I wish I could explain it all to you. I didn't want to go along with her lie.' Her finger touched his, and she stared at his hand. Softly she lay her hand on his and moved closer. 'Please don't leave me'. It made the tears run down her face, and she tried to brush them away. 'You have to get better Alex, do you hear me? You have to wake up.' She had a blurry view watching him and now took his hand in hers. She hoped it would distract her; it would distract her tears, so she could continue what she wanted to say.

_I remember someone old once said to me  
That lies will lock you up with truth the only key_

'You have to, cause I ... I love you', she blurted it out and hearing it saying it in front of him felt like a relief, but it also made her more desperate. She paused. 'You're the only man I've ever really loved', she said it softly, but it felt like a big deal to her. Hearing her own words echo in her mind she didn't noticed the extra beeps filling the room. She just held his hand tightly and closed her eyes.

It was not much later when Dr. Neill entered the room. 'Everything okay?' He hated to interrupt people like this, but he got a signal that there was something up with Mr. Ryan. Stevie shook up and looked behind her. 'Sorry, Mrs. Hall, I didn't want to startle you. We just got a sign from one of the displays.' Stevie looked totally confused at him, not understanding what he meant. 'You haven't noticed anything?' For a moment Lucas thought the equipment had given a fake signal, but when he looked at the display he could indeed see some brain activity. Stevie glared at him. 'Is there something wrong?' Lucas still looked at the screen, than quickly watched Alex. 'No I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, at all.'

Stevie couldn't take her eyes of the man. He looked at her. 'It looks like you got through to him. There has been recorded extra brain activity, which is a good thing', he added quickly. 'Really?' 'Yes', he smiled seeing some hope appear on her face. 'I don't know what you said or did, but it was the right stimulus.' Again Stevie was confused. 'You mean he could hear me?' 'Well that's quite possible, but I have to check on him, so ... if you wouldn't mind to come back later.' Stevie nodded, understanding the situation. 'Don't worry, it won't take long.' Once again he smiled at her, and she noticed he was a very nice man.

She got outside and immediately got questioning looks from Dave and Regan. 'You're all right? I saw Dr. Neill rushing inside', Dave said. She nodded quickly. 'It's okay, the doctor says it's okay ... He said there has been some extra brain activity when I was talking to Alex.' 'That's great', Regan said right away, and she could feel the excitement in her voice. 'That's great', she repeated again to make sure Stevie would understand the meaning of what just happened, cause it looked like she didn't really realized that this was really good news. Slowly Stevie started to smile. 'Yeah it is', she was a bit perplexed. 'Is it?'

_And if you happen to, you wake completely lost  
I will fight for you ... be sure that I will fight  
__'til we're the special two once again_

Missy Higgins – Special two


	10. Chapter 9: All in a day

**Chapter 9 All in a day**

Regan and Dave were paying a quick visit to Alex. Stevie was hanging around in the corridor, leaning to the windowpane. She tried to let the whole thing sink in, so she stared in front of her with a cuppa in her hands. They just had a short talk with the nurse and Dr. Neill would come back later to fill them in on the latest info. She sighed and hadn't heard Fiona walking down the hallway. The doctor had just told her the latest news about Alex and somehow his wife couldn't really be that happy.

Stevie shook up out of her thoughts when Fiona was standing right in front of her. 'So ...', she said, looking in a total different state than earlier. '... So you got through to him.' Stevie gazed at her, and didn't really know why the dark haired girl said it, making it sound so ... she didn't really could describe it. 'Well, it's good news', she responded.' Stevie tried to stay calm, and decided just to stick to Alex' condition. Fiona nodded for a moment, but she could feel the jealousy boiling in her blood.

'You must be pretty happy that it was you', she almost squeezed her eyes saying it. 'What did you say anyway?' Stevie sighed; this was the last thing she was into. 'That doesn't matter, as long as he gets better ... you want him to get better, do you?' Stevie gave her an intense stare. Couldn't that girl act normal for once, and not treat her like her big rival. Fiona felt offended. 'Of course I want him to get better. I love Alex!' It surprised Stevie she could stay this calm. 'Well, you have a strange way of showing that'. She stood up and wanted to walk away.

Fiona looked a side her, following the red head and was irritated with Stevie's behavior. It felt like she acted superior. 'So you still think you gonna win his heart? Do you? Well, he won't love you, be sure of that. You lied to him too, and he knows it.' It didn't really upset Stevie, and she didn't feel the need to turn around and face the desperate girl. 'As long as he gets better', she repeated. At that moment Dave and Regan walked into the corridor, which made Fiona back off.

'What was that all about?' Regan asked when Fiona was gone. Stevie showed a cynical laugh. 'Oh you know Fiona, just being her annoying self.'

A minute later Dr. Neill was standing in front of the three. 'It looks good for now. It's pretty quick after the crash, so this could mean it won't take long for him to wake up. But we can't be sure about that of course. I just want to ask you to think of all ways to stimulate him. It's important for his recovery.' He looked straight at Stevie, like he knew she would have the answer. 'It can be anything?' Dave asked. Lucas watched at him and nodded. They thought for a moment. 'Just think ab ...', but before Lucas could finish his line he could hear Stevie's voice interrupt him. 'Claire!'. Lucas looked confused at her, and Stevie gave Dave a gaze to see if he supported it. 'Claire! That's what he need.' Regan looked confused too. 'Claire? But how do you want to do that?'

'Who's Claire?', Lucas asked. Dave started to explain and it made Dr. Neill agree. 'That sounds like a good idea, but how?' 'Well, anything that reminds him of her, maybe we have old clothes, or ... well I don't know. Jodi probably will ... her sister', Stevie added quickly before Lucas could ask for another explanation.

It was a couple of hours later when Regan and Stevie were on their way to Drovers. The red head kind of felt excited, turning around all possibilities in her head, but Regan could hardly help her. She still wasn't sure how to bring Claire to Alex. 'Maybe Jodi knows, or we can call Tess, yes we can call Tess.' Stevie's excitement worried Regan a bit, what if it didn't turn out well?

When they arrived at Drovers Stevie rushed inside, spreading around words to Moira. 'Wait, calm down Stevie', the older woman said. She could see the exhaustion through Stevie's excitement. 'Let's take a seat'. 'But I have to find Jodi', Stevie said while Moira pushed her down on a chair. Regan and Jodi got inside. 'You needed me? Well here's Jodi to the rescue!' She grinned a bit. Again Stevie started to talk in hardly an understandable way, followed by Regan who kind of translated it.

Jodi nodded. 'Ah, so we need to get something Claire's!' 'Yes!', Stevie shook her head exaggerating, while Moira placed a glass of water in front of her. After Jodi had a few moments of thought she got a bright idea. 'The video of BOM's name giving party!' The women looked at her before they realized this was indeed a wonderful idea. 'I know Terry filmed Claire before the party started, and before Peter showed up. We probably have it somewhere in the boxes upstairs.'

A wide smile appeared on Stevie's face and she wanted to check it out right away, but the girls held her back. 'I will do that Stevie. It's probably better for you to get a shower, something to eat, and mostly some rest', Jodi said determined.

She was still too full with adrenaline to get some sleep so she walked outside to get some fresh air. She had missed the countryside and decided to walk to the bathtub under the windmill. While taking a seat she stared to the sky that was getting pretty dark already. The last days had been so heavy, but she couldn't wait for tomorrow, to get back to Alex.

'Hey', she heard behind her, turning around she saw Jodi with a comforting smile on her face. A second later she made space for Jodi to sit down next to her. 'I've found the tape and watched it quickly. I guess it's good enough.' She lay her hand on Stevie's knee and smiled to her friend. 'Thanks', Stevie said with a deep sigh, staring back in front of her. 'He'll be fine, I just know', Jodi said when she looked up at the sky, seeing the first stars showing up. 'Claire will make that happen.' They gave each other a short assuring look.

'Hey ladies'. A bit startled, the girls looked behind them. Riley was standing there holding the tip of his hat with his left hand, nodding greeting. 'I hope I don't interrupt?' Jodi smiled softly at him. 'No you don't.' She knew Riley had asked a few times about Stevie these last days, but she didn't tell him much and figured it was better for Stevie to have a private talk with him. 'I'm gonna go inside, to make sure the video is set for tomorrow.' Jodi took off and Riled walked to the tub.

'You mind if I sit with you?', he asked. Stevie only gave him an approving look, before gazing away again. 'So, I heard it's been pretty hectic lately'. Riley didn't really know how to start the conversation, and Stevie wondered how much he knew.

'How is Wildflower doing?' 'Well, perfectly well', Riley answered, noticing Stevie wasn't really into a talk, so he tried to incite her. 'I've helped on Killarney today.' It made Stevie look at him for a moment. 'How's Alex?' She looked away again, cause she couldn't really watch him while she mentioned Alex. 'He's', she sighed, 'we just hope he gets out of his coma.' She bitted her lip and saying it made her sad again.

Riley lay his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged away. 'Don't', she uttered. He was pretty surprised with her reaction and Stevie could see in his eyes he asked for an explanation. 'Sorry, not now'. Riley sat back a bit. 'Stevie, I don't wanna ... I ... I feel like I'm left out in all of this. What's going on?' 'Nothing', she said quickly, 'I'm just worried about Alex'. She knew immediately that it hadn't sounded like enough to him. He nodded a bit though it bugged him she didn't want to open up to him. What was this with Alex? He never noticed they were that close.

Riley took his hat of his head and twirled it around in his hands, keeping silent for some time. Than Stevie stood up and she felt his hand grapping her arm. It made her stop and watch him, seeing his worried, confused and questioning look. 'Please, Stevie ... I don't know what's going on, but I think I deserve some kind of explanation ...' She gazed at him, not wanting to say a thing, so she tried to free her arm. 'Damn Stevie, we're partners ... we made love for goodness sake!'

Stevie breathed in deeply, knowing she had to say something. He saw that his words had upset her, but he couldn't stop now and so he kept glaring her. 'Not now Riley, I can't deal with that now'. He looked down after hearing her words, letting go off her hand, like he was defeated. For a moment she looked at the sky, with teary eyes, deciding to walk away.

She took big steps back to the house. We made love ... Stevie shook her head thinking of it. Gosh, was this the way Riley felt? Was he really talking about love? Stevie never thought he would think of her like this. Riley didn't really seem the guy that would be serious about stuff like this, at least not to her. Love, that wasn't love, it had been just sex ... to ease her mind.


	11. Chapter 10: The great escape

**Chapter 10 The great escape**

_Leaves will fall again, wind comes crawling in  
__The rain with all it's sin captures me again  
The words with trough my wave fills my soul with pain_

It was the next day. Stevie sat in the car just staring out of the side window, while Regan was driving. The McLeod gazed a few times to her redheaded friend, who seemed to be lost in her own little world. 'Wanna talk about it?' Stevie looked up. 'Nah ...', sounding a bit blue. There was no sign of the energy she had yesterday when they got back to Drovers. 'You're sure?'

It stayed silent and it made Regan questioning a lot of things; Alex, Riley. Yeah Riley, she got some information from Jodi yesterday and she wondered if it was true. 'Who are you thinking of, Alex or Riley?', she simply asked. Stevie looked at her right away and Regan gave her a quick gaze. 'Both ...', she sighed.

'What's going on between you and Riley?' 'Nothing.' But Regan could hear that Stevie wasn't telling her the truth. 'Righto, if you don't wanna talk about it, just say so, but have you been with him or what?' Stevie thought for a moment, eventually deciding it would be better to get it of her chest. 'Yes, okay!' 'So what .. you kissed him?' The silence afterwards said enough. 'No way ... you slept with him?"

Stevie felt like she was trapped, caught. 'Yeah, okay I slept with him, only once, that's it. I was a mess.' Regan looked at her and figured it upset her and tried to sound comforting. 'It's ok, what's wrong with it anyway ... though you're partners ...' 'Business wise it wasn't that good of an idea', Stevie added when she started to stare out of the window again.

'And love wise?' Stevie moved her lips like it would make it easier to speak. 'I'm not in love with him, at least I don't think so.' 'You're still in love with Alex'. It was a statement that came out soft but clear. Stevie gazed, sighing deeply. Those stupid tears were welling up in her eyes again. 'Yes', she looked at Regan, seeing a sad but comforting face.

'You told him that yesterday, did yah?' Stevie nodded heavy, feeling the first tear leaving her eye and she brushed it away as quick as she could. Regan reached out her arm to give a supporting touch on her friend's knee. 'It's okay'.

In the hospital ...

Nurse Carter was pushing a television on a high rolling table into Alex' room. She had just washed her patient and had heard the latest news. The video recorder was set and Carly gave it a last look before turning to Alex. She stroked some parts of the sheets and checked the drip. 'Well, big guy, pay attention. I wanna see your eyes when I get back with yah.'

And she knew she wasn't the only one. His family-in-law had visited regular, his wife of course, his friends. A soft smile appeared on her face. He had great friends, and she knew there were more out there waiting for him to get better. His father had visit quickly, though he seemed like a busy man. His mother ... and the blonde bloke who almost lived in the waiting room or corridor lately seemed to have constant phone calls with his brother and his sister-in-law in Argentina.

Lucas had a quick talk with Dave, than turned his attention to Stevie. 'You're sure you wanna do this alone?' She nodded. The doctor agreed, it was probably the best to have only one 'person' in the room, and Stevie seemed to be the right person for it after yesterday. Fiona and Trudy were sitting on some chairs watching the conversation. 'Calm down, honey. He will get better.' But Fi couldn't suppress the constant feeling of jealousy. It was her husband!

'Well', Carly came out of the room, 'everything is set. Are your ready too?' Stevie breathed in. 'Yes, I am', though she was scared for him waking up, but also scared that he wouldn't. She couldn't really think straight. 'Don't worry, we'll keep a close eye on him', Lucas said supporting. He had good hopes for Alex to wake up. Like it seemed he had left the deep coma phase yesterday, he could wake up anytime soon.

Stepping inside the room felt like ages to Stevie. She could feel her heart beating, speeding up with every step. She took the remote control of the video recorder and sat down next to Alex his bed. She stared at him and moved a bit forward. Her fingers touched his forehead softly, and for a moment she brushed through his hair. 'You said you needed her', she couldn't fight back the tears saying it. 'This is all I can do to bring her back to you.' She so hoped Claire's voice would do.

_I got down on my knees and pray  
I was calling, calling, calling to heaven_

She sat back and looked at the screen. There we go, she thought. The video started to play, and Stevie could hardly watch it. She couldn't watch her old friend. On such moment she so wanted her here. It was not much later when she could hear Claire's voice, starting to talk to her baby girl. Stevie had taken Alex his hand in hers and squeezed it, not looking at him, just closing her eyes. It felt like she constantly mumbled 'please' to herself, but it was only Claire's voice she could hear.

'Claire', it was soft, hardly sounding like a complete name. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, but it shocked Stevie up. Did she really hear that? The doctor had told her there hardly was a chance for him to speak right away. She squeezed his hand, staring at him. 'Alex?' She could see his eyelids trembling, and his face starting to move a bit. He blinked and the whiteness of the room overwhelmed his view. He could hear Claire's voice, not really identifying her words, only the sound of her voice. It felt like heaven, was he in heaven?

He blinked again and could feel someone holding his hand. He carefully looked towards it, seeing his view becoming clearer with the second. The white smoothly pushed to the background, red taking over. This was not heaven.

'Stevie?' She looked even more intense at him, tears dropping of her face, even onto his hand. She sighed deeply, saying his name, before she started to smile through the sadness of the tears. 'Alex, you're back', the girl uttered. When she said it Alex had turned his eyes to the screen. He saw Claire holding Charlotte, watching it; he finally realized it was a video.

_From an empty face, the smile whipped away  
Eyes that never see, blind the deepest me  
"Act a small share aid", words you can't explain.  
Silence louder than the doubt, lingers in the sound_

Alex looked at Stevie again, seeing her holding his hand, seeing her upset face. The fact he stayed silent scared her for a moment. What if he didn't want her here? 'You're in the hospital', she uttered, 'you had an accident and were in a coma.' It slowly got through to him, the surrounding, the situation and he watched the screen, watching Stevie again and he softly smiled at her. Stevie could feel her whole body light up, that smile meant so much to her. She squeezed his hand again.

Though Alex had realized he wasn't in heaven, not anywhere near Claire, her voice and Stevie's presence had calmed him down. She had brought Claire to him to make him better. It was the only thing he knew.

Alex felt his head starting to hurt a bit and wanted to touch it with his left hand. 'Wait', Stevie said, ' I will get the doctor.' She let loose of his hand and stood up, a bit confused. 'Don't go anywhere ...', making a movement with her hands that he had to stay where he was. Than she turned around and it made Alex smirk. Like he could go anywhere?

_My anger into space, almost found his way again  
Questions to embrace, feelings that you face in this holy land  
Desert made of quicksand  
Streets that lead you there, places of your fear  
Some force pulls you in, the shadow world_

But than it got through to him when he saw her walking away. The memory started to come back.

_By the time I made the great escape,  
I was falling, falling, falling from heaven  
_

Stevie turned around to look at him when she got to the door. It was like she felt it. She could see his expression change, and a confused look was taking over his eyes. It was the same look he had when he found out she lied to him.

_Every picture that I drew  
__I saw you falling, falling, falling from heaven  
_

He watches away, back to the screen ...

_If you just talk to me ...  
If you just look at me ...  
We'll be all right_

Ilse de Lange – The great escape


	12. Chapter 11: Not fond of asking

**_Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate it a lot. I hope you'll like this chapter._**

**Chapter 11 Not fond of asking**

Not much later Dr. Neill made his entree and introduced himself to Alex. 'So Mr. Ryan, good to see you awake. How are you feeling?' Lucas checked his eyes, looked at the displays and asked Alex a few questions to see if everything was making sense to him and his memory was good. That last thing was surely no problem for Alex. Though he felt it as a problem cause flashbacks were running through his mind since Stevie had left the room. 'We gonna do some quick tests. For so far it looks good!', Lucas said pleased.

The video was still running and nurse Carter came in to help Lucas. She introduced herself quickly. 'There are a lot of people outside waiting for you', she smiled at him, noticing his beautiful blue eyes. But the expression on Alex' face didn't change. There was no happiness at all. Dr. Neill left the room shortly to have a talk with the medical staff and Carly looked at the television, wanting to turn it off and get it out of the room. 'Can it stay?' Carly smiled at him. 'If you want to.' He nodded.

'Can I get you anything else?' She already gave him a bit of water, to wet his dry lips. He shook in denial. 'You can have some visit if you like. I can call your wife in?' Carly immediately saw his reaction and knew that wasn't a good idea. 'Okay, you don't have to see her right now. I can call some one else if you like or do you wanna take some rest?' Alex thought for a moment. He wasn't sure what to do. He knew he would have to face someone in the end.

'Stevie.' Carly smiled. 'Ah the red head. You know, when I first met her I thought she was your wife. Silly me', she smirked. Alex didn't really know how to respond to that, so he hardly changed his expression. 'I shall get her.'

Lucas had quickly spoken to Alex' friends and family about the first results, when Carly showed up. 'He wants to see you', she said right away, looking at Stevie. Immediately Fiona got all upset. 'Can I see him first. I'm his wife.' Carly looked at Lucas for a moment. 'I'm sorry, he asked for Miss Hall. You can see him later. There's no need to upset him.' She didn't really know why she said the last line, probably cause she had seen Alex' face when she mentioned her.

Stevie was shaking, waiting for what to come, when she finally got permission to see him, added with an envious stare of Fiona.

She noticed the television was on and he was watching the screen, not signaling her stepping into the room. Stevie slowly moved closer, still thinking of that last look he gave her. 'Alex', she softly said. It made him look at her, but she didn't dare to come closer. Alex grabbed the remote control, which Carly had laid next to him and turned off the TV.

The fact he didn't say a thing made her even feel more uncomfortable. Stevie tried to say something but felt lost. 'How are you feeling?', she figured that would be a safe question for now. 'Crap', he said it covered in negativity and stared straight into her eyes. Not a safe question. 'You can sit down', he added. Hardly looking at him she took her place. 'I guess I have to thank you for this'. He moved his head, pointing to the television. Not daring to look at him she responded; 'she is the one you need', her voice trembled and tears welled up.

Alex was silent for a moment. He didn't want to talk about Claire and maybe he would be too hard on Stevie anyway. 'So thanks.' 'Alex ...', she stopped, feeling a tear run over her cheek, '... I'm glad you're okay... I'm sorry for everything'. He saw how upset she was and felt for her. She bitted her lip, looking at him, hoping for a good response.

_I'm not saying it was your fault  
Although you could have done more  
Oh you're so naive yet so  
How could this be done  
You're such a smiling sweetheart  
Something so beautiful  
That every time I look inside  
I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking  
_

'We'll talk about that later.' It was not the words, but the way he said it that gave Stevie a sign there was hope. Hope for forgiveness, hope for their friendship. All of a sudden she could see his eyes fill with tears. 'Alex', she uttered again. The girl so wanted to comfort him, make it all better. 'You remember it all, do you?' He nodded. She felt helpless, so helpless. 'I promise it will get better.' He looked away, not really excepting her words and she realized it was something he didn't really believe in.

_Hold on to your kite  
Just don't let me down  
_

Alex broke the silence again. 'Who else are there?' 'Dave, Regan ... Fiona, Trudy, Howard, maybe Liz.' 'She visited me?' Stevie nodded. 'Bryce too.'

'Can you call Dave in?' 'Yes of course'. They looked at each other intense; like it was the last gaze they would share for a long time.

It took some time before his mate got permission to get in. The doctor was still doing some tests and it seemed good to give Alex some time in between. Dave stepped in the room and tried hard to block all the sadness and worry. He wanted to be there for his friend, just like in good days. Probably the last thing Alex needed were crying people along his bed. 'Oy, the big man himself. Welcome back mate!', he said with a grin. It had the right effect on Alex. 'Thanks Brewer.' He smiled softly. 'You look like crap, mate', he concluded looking at Dave. 'Yeah well, hanged a bit too much around this hospital lately. Next time you want to visit me just call. I'll pick you up.' Alex smirked and was pleased to have Dave around. 'Heard you have a pretty bad concussion?' 'Yeah, well it feels like it'. Alex touched his head for a moment, looking a bit in pain. 'I bet it's not the only thing on your mind now.' 'I wish it was'.

The conversation got to a more serious level, and Dave tried to find out for how far Alex wanted to talk. 'You're intending to speak to Fiona?' Alex sighed. 'I know I have to but ... I dunno, what's there to talk about?' 'Well, I guess you better talk to her before she storms in. She's not pleased with the fact Stevie already visited you.' Alex gave him an annoyed look. 'I've got my reasons for that.' 'I know', Dave said comforting.

Alex figured it would be indeed the best to have her pay a quick visit, with the accent on quick. 'Righto, I will keep an eye on her', Dave smirked.

Although Fiona wanted to see her husband more than anything in the world, when she finally got the possibility the fright took over. What would she gonna say to him? It made her cry again. Dave gave nurse Carter a quick look to show he would be there with them. He got an approved nod back.

Step by step Fiona walked into the room and Alex was determined to just stare in front of him. She stood still, breathing through her mouth, tears left her eyes. 'Alex', her face turned red. 'You're okay?' Wrong question, Alex thought. 'I ...', she gazed at Dave, who stood near the bed ending. 'I didn't mean to lie; you really have to believe me. I panicked ... too many times.' It was like Alex felt a sting through his heart with every word she said. The pain in his head was nothing compared to that.

He looked at her, and immediately could see the fear in her eyes. 'It seemed like you thought everything through pretty well. If it wasn't for Sandra, I probably would still be living a lie.' She shook her head. 'No, it's not a lie.' It made Alex smirk cynically for a moment. 'What did you wanna call it, true love, hey?' He got angry know. It boiled up in him, and if he hadn't lay here it would have gone wrong, but Dave cleared his throat. It made Alex look at him and the two mates shared their own conversation with the eyes.

Alex took a deep breath again. 'I did everything for you. I felt so sorry for you when you lost the baby ... when you told me you couldn't care a child to full term. I was thinking about you, only about you!' Fiona's breathing got heavier, the sobbing filled the room. There was no possibility she could get words out of her mouth. Dave gave Alex a final stare, before leading Fiona away.

_How could this be done  
By such a smiling sweetheart  
Oh and your sweet and pretty face  
In such an ugly way something so beautiful  
Every time I look inside  
I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking  
True or false it may be  
She's still out to get me  
_

_Someone so beautiful  
__Such an ugly thing_

The Kooks - naive


	13. Chapter 12: More than a man

**Chapter 12 More than a man**

Lucas concluded it was best for Alex to give him rest. Today already was too much for him and he kind of regretted he gave permission for Fiona's visit. He didn't know what exactly was going on, but that Alex' wife upset him was clear. Nurse Carter had her own ideas and shared them with the handsome doctor. 'Well, don't interfere in any way. I know you can be nosy', Lucas said with a smirk on his face. 'Hey, I only stick to the facts ... and the fact I don't like that wife of him.' The doctor laughed. 'Well, don't show it Carly. Better check on Mr. Ryan.'

They kept Alex on the Intensive Care for another night, but he got transferred to the general ward the next day. Things were looking good. The verdict so far was no damage of the vital functions, only a bad concussion and bruises. It was sure Alex Ryan had been very lucky, though it would take some weeks before he finally could go home. The doctor had more worries about his mental state and so he advised Alex' family and friends to give him rest.

And that was what they did. Stevie and Regan decided to go back to Drovers and had paid Alex a quick visit before leaving. She still could see Alex' face in front of her when they were walking on the parking lot. The soft smile he had showed was good enough for Stevie, though she wished she could spend some more time alone with him. Dave promised to keep them up to date. The vet visited Alex daily and although it weren't the deepest thoughts they shared, it worked for Alex.

'There's only one thing', Dave said, staring a bit bored out of the window. 'What?' Alex asked, while he took a swung out of a glass of milk. 'You said something about carrying a child till full term? Or did I heard it wrong?' Alex swallowed, moving a bit in his bed. He couldn't wait to just go out here and have a walk. 'She's infertile', it was all he said and it surprised Dave. 'Really?' 'I thought you knew?' Dave shook his head. 'No, I don't think there's anyone that knows that part.' Alex started to tell more about the whole situation, when he finally realized it meant that Stevie didn't know that part either.

'I don't think she knows', Dave said calmly. It was like a puzzle to him, and it was to Alex to pick up the pieces and put them together. 'O'. Alex stared in front of him. 'Don't be too hard on Stevie anyway, mate. She cares a whole lot of deal 'bout you.' Alex glared a side to his friend. Why did he say that? Dave noticed the questioning look on his mate's face and hesitated for a moment to answer. He didn't want to use the word love, that wasn't up to him, but he nodded. 'She does, really.' It was the way Dave said it that showed a deeper layer, but Alex was still too confused to notice it.

It was a few days later when Alex finally agreed on a visit of Fiona. Not really into the mood to hear her try to make it all sound not that bad, he stared out of the window. It wouldn't take long for her to get here, he figured. But somewhere Alex felt the urge to know why, cause it didn't make sense to him at all. And if she really loved him, like she claimed, how could she have done this? And mostly for himself to understand why he didn't see through her, why he believed all the lies without even one single doubt.

_Story of my life  
Searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul  
Cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company _

She showed up, and Alex couldn't deny she was beautiful, though she really felt like a city girl here. 'I brought flowers', she said a bit unsure. Alex frowned. 'Just lay them on the side table, a nurse will put them in a vase.' So she did and her blue eyes were staring at him, not sure what to do next.

'Do you feel any better?' Her voice was soft. 'A bit'. 'Oh', she looked down. 'Why are you here?' It may sound rude, but Alex wasn't into a 'play all nice' mood.

She licked her lips, looking at him and it brought tears in her eyes. She finally started to realize what a big mess she made. 'I just wanna know if you're all right ... and talk.' Alex sighed. 'Well, go on ...' She didn't dare to sit down, so she just stood in front of him.

_He's more than a man  
And this is more than love  
The reason that the sky is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true_

'I just thought you wouldn't want me if you would know ... and', tears were welling up and her mouth hesitated to continue. 'I ... you wanted to talk. I thought you wanted to postpone the wedding, and ... I just said what popped up in my head. I couldn't go back. I tried to tell you, I really did, but you were so sweet and ...' Her breath stocked in her throat. Alex had closed his eyes. He just couldn't look at her. He had loved her, maybe he still did. Sometimes he hoped it was all a bad dream, but it wasn't.

She could see her words were upsetting him. 'It all got out of control. I was so scared to loose you.' 'Loose me ...', it were words that left his mouth, but it was like they didn't belong to this conversation. It didn't feel like a conversation. Tears were running down her face. 'I .. I ... thought you would just trade me in for someone else, someone that could give you a family, someone you knew better ...' She only had one person in her mind while saying these words, but Fiona refused to speak out her name.

That name didn't cross Alex' mind. He just felt grief and anger taking over his body and by now he stared fearlessly to her. 'You never trusted me. How often did I tell you I'm not Michael. Why couldn't you just ...' He shook his head, and noticed it only made him more enraged and confused. He figured he would never understand her, like he always tried so hard to do, and he had fooled himself he would.

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this anymore_

And there she stood again, watching the man she loved deeply; totally out of tune with the way she treated him. She would never forgive herself for what she had done to him and Fiona knew the only way to help him was to leave. She didn't deserve him and if she really loved him she would set him free.

Her body was shaking, sobbing and her eyes red like never before. She had to let him go, cause the look in his eyes showed too much hurt. So she left and walked to the door, seeing a last glimpse of the man who deserved better, and it hurt so much to realize that.

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer_

Rihanna - Unfaithful


	14. Chapter 13: No games

**Chapter 13 No games**

It left Alex speechless, all kind of emotions were running through his body. It was something he felt for days and if it hadn't been for Dave he would have gone crazy. But he had seen the final consciousness in her eyes, it finally really got through to her and he knew he wouldn't see her for the rest of his hospital stay. She was gone and that thought brought tears in his eyes. Cause this wasn't a game, so the hurt stayed. The sorrow of a lonely soul.

In the meantime Stevie had her own problems; Riley. Since she returned to Drovers she kept feeling the glances of her friends, who knew what was going on, but a true conversation with the younger bloke stayed away for a few days. When finally she had enough courage to really face him, though she didn't really know what to say.

He was walking on the Drovers' property wanting to get Raylight out of his box for a session in the field. The horse wasn't ready to be ridden yet. 'Riley?' He walked further and Stevie followed him. It was obvious he was ignoring her. It felt like she was playing with his pride, so he figured it was better to put his energy into something else. 'Riley? Please, we need to talk'. He hardly looked aside. 'You didn't want to talk last time, so what's the use of it anyway ... I'm gonna saddle up Raylight.' He was determined to just go to the stables and ignore her, but Stevie wasn't planning to give up.

'You know we need to talk. If we wanna keep this training program ...' 'We don't have to', Riley said quick, 'I'm sure I can get a fulltime job at Killarney ... or somewhere else.' She threw herself in front of him, so he simply had to look at her. Not really impressed with it Riley asked if he could pass through. 'You know you're talking bullshit. You love working with these horses.' 'And ...' Gosh, he could be so annoying, she thought.

She watched him when he prepared the horse, shaking her head. 'Why are you acting like this?' 'Like what?' he said, not looking up. 'Like you don't give a damn.' It sounded hard, and although Riley didn't show it, it indeed hurt him. The way she treated him was like she had used him. He could have known. Why did he sleep with her, while he knew she was upset?

'So?' Stevie was getting a bit mad. Her hands were expressively leaning on her hips. 'So, you don't give a damn?' She said again. Riley leaded the horse outside and mounted. 'Riley! She's not ready yet.' 'Well I decide that she is, maybe you should think about that next time too.' Stevie immediately knew he wasn't aiming at the horse when she saw him ride off.

She sighed deeply, stubborn man.

It was a day later when she checked on Riley while he was training one of the horses. 'I know you don't wanna listen to me, but I just wanna say I'm sorry. Sorry for not talking to you when you wanted to. You indeed have a right to ask for an explanation.' He was standing next to the horse, stroking it, looking closely to his eye. 'Good girl', he whispered. Stevie watched it and noticed her words seemed to be aimed at death man's ears. 'Okay, fine ...', she turned around to walk away when Riley looked at her.

'Wait', she slowly turned around and the two gazed at each other. 'Just wait a sec.' He finished his job, tied the horse and walked to her. Looking down and thinking for a moment he gazed back at her. Stevie touched his forearm for a moment. 'I didn't mean to treat you like that.' She could see Riley was putting down his guard. 'I just don't wanna get used.' She stared away, biting her lower hip. 'It's not like ... I don't regret it.' She had regretted it, but now that she was standing here with him she didn't. 'But I was selfish ...' She gazed in his eyes again. 'Okay, so next time you want to be selfish, just say so. So I know I don't have to expect a thing, cause I'm not a guy that just fools around like that.' She gave him a soft smile.

'Well, I'm not like that either.' She paused. Riley grinned softly and touched her cheek playfully. 'You're one of a kind Stevie', but his face started to become more serious after his words. Stevie could see, once again, that this was definitely not a game to him. 'And I mean it'. She stared, touched by his ways as he walked away.

After that Riley and Stevie got along again, like nothing had happened. Though the glances stayed, the glances that showed more. The girls didn't really spend much attention to it and where glad everything was sorted out between the two.

Stevie could focus on Alex again. Dave had called almost daily and so Stevie knew Fiona had visited him, and found out about that last big lie. She couldn't believe it. The girl wasn't fond of Fiona but this really had crossed the line. Lying about a pregnancy was one thing, but faking a pregnancy while you can't even have kids was ... she couldn't even find words for it. It was beyond words. At least it seemed Fiona and Alex really had broken up. Stevie felt so much compassion for Alex that it made her cry during the nights. She could give him so much more, if only he knew. But for know he just needed to get better and Stevie couldn't wait to see him again. She would tell him everything; she couldn't hide it any longer.


	15. Chapter 14: Request of loneliness

**Chapter 14 Request of loneliness**

It was the day Alex got home, though it didn't feel like home to him. He had been driving in his Ute, which they repaired in Adelaide and when he arrived at Killarney he felt weird. Walking through this huge house felt like a torture. So many memories of Fiona, of Harry and now it was empty. No one around and it surprised him Sandra hadn't taken over the property. He decided to take a shower first, cause wearing one of Dave's XXL shirts and baggy sport pants were surely not made for him.

He tried to wash away all thoughts, the misery that had stayed on his mind. Feeling the water running over his face, rushing his hands through his hair. Just closing his eyes and feel the water making his way down his body. It didn't change a thing about his mental state. Alex knew he couldn't just wash it away, but he wasn't sure what to do next. Was he expected to just run Killarney again, throw himself into work, or did he really need some time off? To be honest he didn't really feel like running the property at the moment. He couldn't think of a reason why. It all had been so different months ago, when he married Fiona, when he would become a dad.

Alex thought about someone who could help at Killarney. He knew his dad had sent someone, but that was a city boy and he didn't know if he wanted him around. He was thinking about Rob. No one had heard from him in months, but he figured maybe Jodi would know something. So Alex was set for Drovers, and deep down inside he knew it was more a covering reason to see Stevie.

'Hey Alex, you're back!', Jodi said when she saw the tall man walking on to the property. Alex smirked. 'Yes I am, how ya're doing Jodes?' 'Good, and you?' Before Alex could respond he got distracted by Turbo, who was asking for attention. Alex was kind of glad he didn't need to answer that question. He bended down and caressed the dog. In the meantime he asked if Jodi had heard any thing from Rob, but the answer was no. 'I could use some help at Killarney', he added and Alex saw on Jodi's face he better not say much more about Rob.

He looked down at his little friend. 'So where's your boss?' Jodi smiled. 'I'm not sure.' The blonde curled girl saw Riley making his way to the back of Drovers and shouted at him. 'Hey Riley. Do you know where Stevie is?' The bloke didn't need to think for long. 'She went to town. I don't think she will be back soon.' 'Thanks!', Jodi yelled back when she looked at Alex again. 'So there you have your answer.' Alex just nodded and didn't feel the need to say much more.

When he got back to Killarney he felt that feeling creeping inside again. The emptiness of the house. Photos still reminded him of what have been and it made him sad. He took a six-pack out of the fridge and sat down in the living room, just staring in front of him when he drank his beer. With every swung he took he felt more lonely. Why had this all have to happen to him? He asked himself again. Here was no one who cared about him and it was the first time he could remember living all alone in this house.

It got later and Alex had drunk all the beers and still stared in front of him, when he heard a car pull up. He just blinked and sat still. Doors opened and Alex didn't really care about who it could be. He heard some noise upstairs and after that he finally saw a glimpse of the person in his house, who passed the living room, but returned in a second.

Holding a box with stuff, Fiona gazed into the room, staring into Alex' blue eyes. 'Alex?', she sounded surprised. 'I'm just getting some stuff. I didn't know you were here.' The gaze in his eyes made her walk into the room, stopping when she came near the couch. She studied him. 'Are you okay?' Of course she could see he was upset and he had been drinking. Alex just stared. It made Fiona a bit uncomfortable, looking around, looking at the stuff in the box. 'I will go, I 'll get the rest later.'

'Fi?', she heard him say when she was about to walk away. Fiona looked at him again and saw tears in his eyes. She put down the box and sat next to him. A bit unsure if it was the right thing to do, but she felt she couldn't just walk out on him like this.

He had looked down, not facing her, but when he did he could only think of their times together; here. She could sense it; she could sense the weakness and confusion. He felt so alone and somehow Alex was glad she was here, that there was someone beside him in this big house. She lay her hand on his knee to comfort him, but she couldn't find words. It surprised Fiona that she didn't see the anger in his eyes like the last times she had seen him. They stared at each other.

Their faces moved closer and they couldn't stop gazing. Fiona looked at his lips and her hand moved to his face. Softly she kissed him, wondering how he would react. When she looked in his eyes again she just saw him begging for more, not willing to withstand. Fiona kissed him again and could feel he was kissing her back, when a moment later he broke it off. Glaring at him she could see his red eyes, knowing his resistance was so low at this moment. 'It's okay', she said softly.

_Oh, I've found, that I'm bound  
To wander down that one way road  
And I realize all about your lies  
But I'm no wiser than the fool I was before  
_

Alex couldn't really think clear. The only thing he knew was that he didn't want to be alone. He didn't want her to leave. So he kissed her deeply, feeling passion welling up in him.

_Slow down, lie down,  
Remember it's just you and me  
Don't sell out, bow out,  
Remember how this used to be  
I just want you closer,  
Is that alright?  
Baby let's get closer tonight_

Fiona just went along with it. She had never thought Alex and she would be together like this again, but when the moment was here she took it with both hands. And what was wrong with it after all? He was still her husband. She was still his wife.

While the couple got more intimate Stevie drove upon the Killarney homestead. She had heard from Jodi that Alex was home and had asked for her. Not much later she had taken her Ute to go to see him. Not really sure what to expect she just walked in, noticing there was nothing locked. She called his name, but there was no response.

Stevie walked further, looking around when all of a sudden she stood nailed to the ground in the doorway of the living room. Her mouth fell wide open from astonishment. The couple was too caught up in the moment to notice a thing of Stevie's presence. The girl couldn't believe what she saw, and when it finally got through to her, she didn't know how fast she could get out of there.

When she reached her Ute and got inside she glared in front of her for a moment, feeling the tears welling up. She felt disgusting, close to throwing up, seeing the view repeating before her eyes. Stevie drove off while all kinds of thoughts went through her mind. How on earth could Alex do this? How could he be with that lying bitch again after all she did to him?

_Grant my last request,  
And just let me hold you  
Don't shrug your shoulders,  
Lay down beside me  
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,  
But one last time just go there,  
Lay down beside me _

Oh, baby, baby, baby,  
Tell me how can, how can this be wrong?

**The end of season 6**

Paolo Nutini – Last request


	16. Chapter 15: Leaving it behind S7

**Is it any wonder?**  
Season 7: One way street

------------------------------------------------

**Trailer Season 7**

_Finding their way ..._

'Mates?' 'Mates'

'Just tell me. I need to know'

_... of friendship and love ..._

'You're only hurting her'

_... when the past catches up with them ..._

'I have to focus on Rose'

'I love you'

'Noooo!'

_... can they survive?_

------------------------------------------------

**Leading roles**  
Aaron Jeffery as Alex Ryan  
Simmone Jade Mackinnon as Stevie Hall  
**  
Supportive roles**  
Zoë Naylor as Regan McLeod  
Dustin Clare as Riley Ward  
Rachael Carpani as Jodi McLeod  
Basia A'Hearn as Rose Hall-Smith

**Guest roles**  
Jonny Pasvolsky as Rob Shelton  
Michala Banas as Kate Manfredi  
Matt Passmore as Marcus Turner

And others

----------------------------------------------------

'_Stevie, I know things are gonna change, but my life finally got some direction and you still be a part of that. You're my best mate, Stevie'  
_(Alex Ryan, 6.16)

----------------------------------------------------

_Waiting with my lonely heart  
People come by like some fast cars  
It all seemed so perfectly fine  
Happy faces in those lovely pictures  
Smiling like they've got something to hide  
It all went by so fast_

_Searching for yourself  
__And searching for the person who you'd like be  
This is not how it's supposed to be I didn't want it to be over  
I didn't want to lose you this way  
You, you made me run away  
Cause I couldn't stand my fears_

_Making me happy wasn't good enough  
Breaking me down was at least a start  
Looking for another way to follow  
But the only one left was straight ahead  
That was the story about you and me  
__where we got stuck in a one way street_

**  
Chapter 15 Leaving it behind**

I blame myself for crying so much that night, for fooling myself. Yes, I feel like a fool. Embarrassed that I believed there was more, or there could be more, so much I couldn't even tell Regan about it. Yes, I've seen the look on her face. I know she wanted to help me, but I just didn't want to tell her. It would hurt too much to say it out loud. I want to get rid off the picture that still pops up in my mind from time to time, on the most annoying moments. I want to forget.

I'm mad, mad at Alex for being such an idiot. But mostly I'm mad at myself, for having these feelings for him. The feelings that hurt me every time I see him. I haven't seen him for weeks though. He's in Argentina and he didn't tell me. I had to hear it from Riley. Of all people I had to hear it from Riley. I don't know if he will get back. I haven't heard from him at all. Is this what I mean to him? Is this because I didn't tell him the truth? No, that can't be, cause what on earth was he doing with that lying bitch? Or is he just the biggest idiot in the world? Maybe I'm even worse for falling in love with him.

I don't want to be in love with him and being angry with him helps. I'm moving on and it gets better, I know. The girls are supportive in their own way, cause of course they know it bugs me. It bugs me that Alex just left. I think even Riley knows, but he avoids that subject. He knew I went to Alex that evening and he have seen me upset after. It's not hard to put two and two together.

He's the one that makes me smile. Our friendship is uncomplicated, like once it was with Alex and me. We never really talked about what happened between us. It's just an unsaid agreement to be friends. Just friends, but maybe there's more. He's a good guy and we flirt. We have our moments and I don't mind. I know it's nothing serious. Maybe it will get serious one day. But this I know for sure ... I'm going to take things slow.

_So you ran away from misery  
You left it all behind  
__So you packed your bags and made a trip around the world without me  
What's that sign for?_

_And I'm feeling so weak at times  
Don't you see it's not really going the way I planned?_

_But now I see you don't care anymore  
For what I will or will not do  
Yeah we were talking about you  
Yeah you versus me_

_Oh it's funny that you haven't shown up since the moment you ran away  
Well it may be better to be gone till everything's okay  
Couldn't you tell me when that will be  
_

_Cause I've waited so long for the right one  
And it doesn't really seem to be you_

Stevie Ann - One way street  
Stevie Ann - You versus me


	17. Chapter 16: Away from Killarney

**Chapter 16 Away from Killarney**

In the middle of the night I awoke and within a second it got through to me. I realized what I had done and with a bit of fright I looked beside me, but she wasn't there. The bed was empty. I remember like it was yesterday. I got up and grabbed some clothes, mumbling 'shit' for more than once. I stared through the window and there was no sign of Fi's blue Ute.

So I made my way downstairs and called her name, but still no sign. She was gone and somehow I was relieved. A note on the table had caught my attention; an address, a phone number, if I wanted to contact her. That was all there was left of her. I kicked against the kitchen door, just to get my frustration out of me. I've been fooled, not ones, not twice ... I swept away a glass of the kitchen table, broken into pieces shattered across the floor. I sat down and simply cried.

The only thing I could think of was getting away from here, away from Killarney. Like it was poisoning my mind. It was not much later I arranged to get a flight to Argentina. I really couldn't be here any longer, so I packed my stuff and left early in the morning.

It was good to be with Nick, Tess and baby Claire, but it also made me aware of all my dreams. The dreams that I thought would come true, but are broken, maybe for good. I have to admit that I envy my brother; having a beautiful wife, a precious daughter, a live that's perfectly fine. And I have nothing, nothing at all.

_Oh brother I can't, I can't get through  
I've been trying hard to reach you cause I don't know what to do  
Oh brother I can't believe it's true  
I'm so scared about the future and I want to talk to you _

But in the end this visit worked well for me. A lot of things are coming clear to me. Things I need to know to go on. Sometimes it seems so simple. One evening I was sitting on the veranda, Nick handed me a beer and we started to talk. Not long, no it was a small talk, but somehow Nick said just the right words. Maybe it was because I was far away from Killarney or cause I finally wanted to see it clear, without fooling myself.

I looked at him, while he stared in front of him. 'Why did you got with Fiona in the first place?' I took a swung of my beer and just said the first things that appeared in my mind. 'She was beautiful, sweet ...' But Nick looked straight at me. 'And?' I couldn't really answer him right away. What seemed like an easy question was way more complicated. Things were complicated, that was what I knew. And with her it seemed all so simple. 'Just ask yourself questions like that', Nick continued, 'just like why you got engaged to her so soon?' He petted me on my shoulder and stood up.

Those questions got stuck in my mind and I went back to the moment I left to Melbourne. I think I sat there almost whole night. Tess had paid a quick visit and when I heard baby Claire started to cry in the middle of the night the pieces slowly got together. I could see a picture formed.

_You can take a picture of something you see  
In the future where will I be?  
You can climb a ladder up to the sun  
Or write a song nobody has sung, or do  
Something that's never been done _

I've been a fool. I've been played by a girl I hardly knew. Of course I loved her, really I did. Maybe there's a part of me that still belongs to her. It sounds strange after all the lies, but somewhere I wished it hadn't been lies. What if it all had been true? I would be preparing the baby room, thinking of names ...

But most of all I loved being loved, to have someone on my side who would always be there. Someone to call my own. Who just loved me, and she did, I know. Maybe too much, or maybe she had the same problem as me, the need to be loved.

I met her in Melbourne, when I was on my weakest. When Harry had rejected me, when I felt alone and didn't know where to go. Just like that evening when I got back from the hospital. She felt like my saving angel, but she turned out to be the opposite. And why not marry right away, so you're sure that that someone will always be there and won't just walk out on you?

But it wasn't love, it wasn't true love. Like Claire and me. I stop for a moment; sighing and I feel my eyes getting teary again. I knew, I knew it, just before the wedding I knew what I had with Fiona would never come anywhere near Claire and me. Never, cause she was the opposite of her. And realizing that now I know why it felt so easy and right with her, cause she wasn't a treat to my love I still treasure for Claire. She didn't remind me of her at all, so it felt safe.

And I tried so hard to please her, to have her on my side, to make her feel loved, to make it work. I was acting forced. No, I wasn't completely myself. I wasn't the Alex Ryan I would be around someone I truly, deeply loved. A soul mate. Isn't love being loved for who you really are, to just be yourself and know it's all right? Like it was with Claire? Maybe I had my chance and let it slip through my hands, cause I fooled around for so long. What if you only have one true love, one love of your life? How am I supposed to move on? It makes me so sad realizing I maybe will never have what my brother has, a family, people around me that I can truly call mine, who loves me for the person I am. Just me ...

I just wanted to be loved ...

I've been a fool and I want to forget. I want to move on. I don't know how, but at least there is a lot solved of the puzzle, but deep down inside I still feel the picture isn't finished yet. There are missing pieces and I don't know where to find them.

_Are you lost or incomplete?  
Do you feel like a puzzle?  
You can't find your missing piece  
Tell me how do you feel?  
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak  
And they're talking it to me  
_

And so I am back in Australia, driving to Killarney. Hoping it won't fool me again.

Coldplay - Talk


	18. Chapter 17: Seasons change

**Chapter 17 Seasons change**

Alex got back at Killarney and it wasn't long after his arrival when he drove his Ute to Drovers Run. It had been a long time since he really had been there. Alex remembered the times he was a very regular visitor. He felt like he needed to explain things to Stevie. She probably wouldn't be happy that he hadn't spoken her since his time in the hospital. And he kind of felt bad for not contacting her, but when he was in Argentina he didn't have the courage to call. He didn't know exactly why, but Alex just wanted to explain things in person.

Alex got out of his car, wearing his blue polo, walking upon the Drovers Homestead. Regan was pushing a wheelbarrow when she saw her neighbor strolling to her. 'Hey Regan!' She stopped and watched him. That had been a long time, but she noticed he looked good and seemed fine. 'G'day. I hadn't expected you here.' It was a line with an undertone Alex understood right away. 'Yeah, sorry, I needed some time to figure things out.' She nodded, accepting Alex' apology.

He stood there for a moment, not really sure what to say next. 'Uhm', he licked his lip and watched the girl again. 'Do you know where Stevie is?' A soft smile appeared on Regan's face. Of course Stevie. She turned to the hay shed. 'I guess she's over there.' 'Ah, okay then I will check there'. Regan could see he was a bit nervous and while the girl picked up the wheelbarrow she smiled at him. 'Good to see you again, Alex.' He smirked back, still a bit uncomfortable. It felt strange, nothing like the many times he just walked here totally relaxed.

Stevie and Riley had just finished gathering some hay bales. The redhead sighed for a moment, rubbing the back of her arm and hand across her forehead. 'Well that's done'. Riley shrugged his shoulder and looked at her. 'I think we've earned some rest now', he grinned. 'You think?', she said with a teasing smile. 'We still have a lot to do ...' 'Yeah, well you can't force me.' She gave him a stare, knowing what he was up to. Stevie took in a demonstrative posture and glared at him, raising her eyebrows.

He stood in front of her. 'Like that will help.' She nodded. 'Yeah ... well let's put it this way: get your lazy butt into action Riley!' She moved her lips playfully. 'I know something better', Riley said. They both had felt the tension between them getting bigger these last few days and the teasing remarks had filled the air. 'Like what?', Stevie asked, still not changing her position. Riley moved closer and touched her hand. 'Like this ...' She looked at his hand touching her and when her face moved up again she felt him really close. Staring in his eyes she just went along with the moment. His other hand touched her chin and he softly kissed her. It made Stevie giggle while she felt his lips on hers, giving him a quick kiss back.

Alex had heard her giggling and when he walked along the wooden bank he saw his friend kissing this Riley bloke. For a moment he couldn't move and the feelings that ran through his body where new to him. He stood there totally stupefied. When all of a sudden he looked right into her eyes. She could still sense the taste of Riley's lips when she looked behind him and saw Alex standing there nailed to the ground, with an expression that she didn't really recognize. When Alex realized her gaze he turned around a fast as he could, big steps took him back to his Ute.

Stevie was still standing there, dazed. Was that Alex? 'Alex?', she mumbled. Riley looked at her and she could feel his arm around her waist. 'What?' She stared at the bloke, feeling like she just had visited another planet. Stevie tried to speak, but there wasn't even one word that left her mouth. She just ran away.

Stevie saw Alex' black Ute pull up. 'Alex!', she shouted, but he turned upon the road and drove off. So the girl just stood there, totally overwhelmed by the moment.

Alex pressed the accelerator, looking in his rearview for a moment. He couldn't think. He couldn't set his mind clear, staggered by the view. He never had thought he would find her like this. And it had upset him, not knowing why. Alex just could feel a sort of jealous feeling rushing through his blood.

_I use to tell myself that you would wait  
I borrowed time for two and I twisted fate  
I left us floating in the air for the wind to hold on to  
It let me down, it let you go_

When he was a few miles away he stopped the car at the side of the road. Not sure what to do Alex just stared in front of him, blinking his eyes. What was this all about? So Stevie had something going on with Riley. Shouldn't he be happy for her? This was obviously something serious, cause why else would she kiss him, her horse-training partner?

It was strange. The last couple of years she never had a serious relationship. It was the first time he really realized this. Kane ... it was the last man that got close to her heart, but that was years ago. Maybe he wasn't used to the fact of his best mate being with another man. Another man ... he repeated the thought in his mind. He had expected to get her full attention when he would return. How could he just think that easy, noticing he had taken her for granted, expecting her to be there for him whenever he felt the need.

_Sometimes the things you want are hard to take  
Sometimes the ones you love are risks you don't make  
The dust has settled into nothingness and I yearn for yesterday  
Just look around  
I'm still the same_

Things weren't the same anymore. Their friendship wasn't like it had been. Things had changed. Alex started the engine again and just drove, thinking. Cause he couldn't get these thoughts of his mind, he couldn't get her of his mind.

_So many things that we didn't say  
So many reasons the world's not the same  
Oh, it's not the same _

I drive around like nothing here has changed  
I drive and everything has changed and I feel the lightening it's in my own mistakes  
and I was gonna tell you I wish all our wrongs could be right  
I'm too late  
I looked in my rearview and now I don't see you

I used to tell myself that you would wait ...

Anastacia - Rearview


	19. Chapter 18: All I want for now

_**Thanks for the lovely reviews! I hope you keep reading!**_

**Chapter 18 All I want for now**

'Has Alex already left?' Stevie turned around slowly and saw Regan walking up to her. 'Uh, yeah?' Her friend could see the confusion on Stevie's face. 'Is everything okay?' Regan looked studied at her, when Stevie raised a fake smile. 'Spill it!'

Regan had dragged her friend into the kitchen. She hardly had said a word and she looked puzzled. 'So what's up?' Stevie wondered, not sure what to answer. 'I dunno.' 'Haven't you spoken to him?' The redhead turned her face to look at Regan who was sitting next to her. 'No'.

The McLeod tried to figured out what was going on. 'But he wanted to see you, so ...' 'You spoke to him?' Stevie asked quickly. Regan nodded. 'Shall I make some tea?' Stevie hesitated for a moment. 'There's work to do.' 'Yeah well that can wait.' She gave her a stare that it wouldn't have any use trying to protest. 'Okay'.

'So what is really going on?' Regan asked again when she had put the kettle on. 'He just ran away I guess.' 'You guess?' 'I was kissing Riley, okay!' Stevie felt trapped again, what was it when she started to mention his name that she felt caught? Her friend didn't look at her, but just seemed to get it. 'Awww, so the bloke can't stand seeing you with some one else, ey.' 'Regan!' Stevie was not amused with Regan's conclusion and the smirk she had on her face. 'Stevie, it's simply the truth, otherwise he would have stayed. And besides that; he even looked nervous to see you.'

Stevie shook her head. 'Forget it. He's with Fiona'. Regan thought it was amusing, but the stare she got made her put on her serious face again. 'Fiona? Why would he be with that piece of scum?' 'I'm not making this up', Stevie added quick, 'you know that evening when he got back from the hospital? Well she was with him.' Regan shrugged her shoulders. 'Maybe to sign the divorce papers?' Stevie smiled annoyed. 'Yeah like sticking your tongue in someone's throat comes along with signing divorce papers.' 'Maybe you didn't see it correctly?' Regan tried again. 'Well, I will spare you the other details. I already have a hard time getting that picture out of my head.' The tears welt up in her eyes and Regan put her arm around her friend to comfort her. 'Okay so he's a moron. Maybe he found his brain again along the way.' Stevie softly smiled when there was a knock on the door.

'Stevie?'. The girls turned around to see Riley. Regan immediately gazed at Stevie, asking what do to with him. 'Are you okay?' 'Uhm', Stevie glared at the bloke. 'Yeah fine, I'll be back in a minute.' There we go again, Riley thought. 'Righto, see yah'.

Regan and Stevie glared at each other. 'So what are your plans with him?' Stevie sighed deeply. 'I don't know. He's not the problem.' 'Alex is ...'. Stevie nodded. 'Well, there's only one way to find out if the guy is jealous', Regan said while standing up to get the kettle with the water. 'Talk to him, girl!' Stevie lay her head on the table and rolled her eyes. 'Nice, very nice ... first I need a cuppa.'

That evening Stevie walked over the grit of Killarney's entrance way. Blowing, not sure where to go she walked to the back of the house. No way she would just walk in like last time, but happily she didn't need to. She saw Alex sitting outside, his feet leaning on a side table; his black hat covered his face. He seemed a sleep. Stevie watched the view and took a deep breath. I can do this, she thought to herself.

'Alex?' She saw him shook up, taking his hat of his face within a reflect. He had been sitting there for some time, just thinking. Alex gazed at her, uttering her name, it was more than just being startled. 'Hey, sorry, I thought you were a sleep.' 'No not really.' He pulled his feet of the table. 'Uh, take a seat.' She grabbed a chair behind her and sat down.

And then there was this awkward silence. Stevie rubbed her nose, staring in front of her. 'So you're back', starting to play with her fingers a moment later. 'Yes I am.' Alex studied her face, her red curls surrounding it. Like he saw it for the first time. Stevie figured there was no need for small talk. 'I saw you at Drovers this afternoon.' So, that was said, let's see his reaction, she thought. 'Uhm yeah, I was ... I thought it would be better to come back later.' Stevie looked around her, knowing this answer didn't say a thing. 'So how's Fiona?' She was on a roll with just asking him confronting questions.

'I have no clue.' It was the first time she looked at him and there was some anger written over her face, but when he gazed back it kind of disappeared. Already being mad on herself for realizing she couldn't really be mad at him when he was just here with her. 'I've seen you two.' She had looked away saying it, biting her lip.

'Uh ...' The two gazed at each other again and Alex didn't know where to start. 'That was one of the most stupid things I've ever done in my life', he stated. Stevie had to grin a bit about the way he said it. She could see he felt ashamed, uncomfortable talking about it. 'So you just left to Argentina ...'

Alex took a deep breath and it was exactly how he had thought it would be like. He felt he was the one that needed to make up for things. Though she hadn't told him the truth, it felt totally irrelevant.

'Steves, I'm sorry for just leaving. I'm sorry for everything. I've thought a lot. I ... there's a lot that came clear to me these last few weeks.' He stared straight in her eyes. 'I've been a mess, a really lousy best mate.' She could feel the weakness in her body and softly smiled comforting, feeling compassion for the man. 'Well, I haven't been the best either. I should have told you about the fake pregnancy, and I tried, but there always was something coming in between. You have to believe me when I say, I really tried.' Alex smirked. 'Okay, we're even. We're two lousy mates.' They both smiled. 'Yeah we suck!'

Stevie looked away, smiling. He poked her softly. It was good to have him back. The two just sat there for some hours, a beer in their hands. There was a lot of talking, but sometimes there were moments of silence, of gazing in front. Silence that crossed the border of comfortable and awkwardness.

'You know Steves ... you knew it all along she wasn't right for me, did yah?' She looked shyly away. 'She didn't seem so bad, it was ...' 'I never said sorry', Alex interrupted when he remembered something. 'For what?' She looked at him again. 'When you said things went too fast between you and Jarred and I said I wouldn't be as stupid as you.' She could remember it well, and it had hurt her. He looked serious at her. 'Sorry ... I was ... I've guess I was right, I am way more stupid.'

She gazed into his blue eyes and it made her sigh. They were getting teary and she softly smiled at him. 'You're not stupid, Alex, you were just blinded by love I guess.' He looked down, before staring in front of him. 'I've took you for granted', he all of a sudden said softly.

'It's okay', Stevie felt tears welling up, biting her lip. 'It's not Stevie. You've always been there for me and I just thought it would always be like that.' She touched his hand while their teary eyes met again. She searched for words. 'It will, that won't change.' 'It has changed Stevie.'

'So Riley hey'. She looked a bit surprised for him just bringing Riley up. 'You guys been together for a long time?' Alex noticed he didn't really talk to her for months, maybe even longer when being caught up in Fiona's lies. 'We're not together, not exactly. We just ...' '... you don't have to tell me. I just hope he's good for you.'

Stevie couldn't look at him. She didn't even know herself what was going on between Riley and her. But she felt that her feelings for Alex weren't gone, far from. Alex sensed it wasn't her favorite subject to talk about so he changed it.

'So we're best friends again?' She looked at him again. 'Yeah'. He raised his bottle of beer and Stevie took hers from the table. 'To mates', Alex said with a grin. 'Mates!'


	20. Chapter 19: Touching moments

**Chapter 19 Touching moments**

It was five days later when the girls were preparing for lunch. Regan glared at Stevie. 'What?', the girl mumbled while she already took a bite out of a piece of bread. Regan rolled her eyes. 'First of all, don't eat before we start lunch.' 'I was hungry.' 'Second, are you ever planning on telling me how that evening with Alex went?' Stevie was still chewing. 'Nope.'

'Why not?' Regan placed some plates on the kitchen table. 'Cause there's noting to tell. We're mates.' Stevie stated while she sat down. 'Just mates hey, so why did he ran away than?' Stevie shrugged her shoulders following Regan's movement while she put down some cups.

Regan shook her head amused. 'I give up on you two. Or did you put your money on Riley?' 'Nooo', Stevie said slightly annoyed, watching Regan raising her eyebrows. 'Stop interfering my love life, and start your own.' 'Oh yeah, like there are any cute guys around here.' The redhead was glad that she wasn't the center of the subject any longer, so she figured it was nice to put the spotlights on her friend. 'What about Marcus?'

Jodi was whistling and walked into the kitchen. 'Marcus?' She asked, looking at her friends. 'Yeah, Regan thinks Marcus is hot!' 'I so not! Just stuck that bread in your mouth and chew.' Instead of that Stevie's smile grew wider. 'Aww, that's great! What about a double date with me and Rob?' Jodi said pleased. 'You're still calling him Rob?' Stevie asked.

Rob, or Matt, had returned some weeks ago, but it was only a week ago that he had showed up at Drovers. His intentions were clear; he had returned to pick up his life, his life with Jodi. And although the blonde girl hadn't expected to see him ever again, she was happier than ever.

'Yeah well, it doesn't matter what his name is, as long as he's here with me.' A huge smile was covering her face and the girls glared cheerfully at her, expecting her to get all jumpy. 'But what about that double date?' Jodi said teasingly giving Regan a push. 'No way, just ask Stevie and Alex!' Stevie almost choked in her food, shooting Regan a stare, who just looked back at her with an amused smile: that's what you get for bringing up Marcus.

'Alex?' Jodi asked surprised, 'I thought you were with Riley.' Stevie looked annoyed. 'How many times do I have to repeat; I am not with Riley, get it?' 'Oh ...', Jodi thought for a moment. 'So you're with Alex?' Stevie licked her teeth demonstrative, sighing deeply. 'Nooo ... where's Kate by the way?' 'What do you think?' Jodi smirked. 'Patrick', Regan said quickly. 'Should have known', Stevie mumbled to herself. 'He had planned a romantic pick nick for lunch ...'

The next day Stevie went over to Killarney to borrow a pump relief valve, when she found Alex working on the tractor. 'Oy'. Alex turned around to see his friend. 'G'day, Stevie. What's up?' He swept some sweat from his forehead, covered with ointment, wiping his hands off on his dirty white singlet. 'We kinda need a pump relief valve, so if you would have one, please.' She smiled at him. 'I guess we have some in the back. I'll get you one soon. Just have to finish this first, or are you in a hurry?' 'No', Stevie looked at the tractor. She enjoyed spending some time with Alex now that Fiona was out of the picture.

'So what are ya doing?' 'The hydraulic pump drive shaft has to be replaced'. Alex started to work on it again, while asking Stevie for some help when needed. 'So how's Drovers?' 'Good and I heard you have enough help over here.' 'Ah yeah, you should think a city boy wouldn't be much use here, but I'm kinda impressed with Marcus. He still has to learn a lot though. Screwdriver please.' She looked at the toolbox and picked one. Alex looked at it and gave it back. 'Can you give one size bigger?' Stevie did what he requested.

'And Rob's back.' 'Yeah, that's a good thing. He's really of great use. By the way how's Jodi coping with his return?' Alex still kept focusing on the pump, pulling at a part. Stevie smiled thinking of Jodi. 'Oh she's somewhere on could nine I guess.' Alex grinned at her for a moment. 'So you have to deal with a very energetic Jodi.' He kept pulling. 'Geesh, this is a tough one.'

'Well, it's good to see her this happy. She's over the moon cause he said he loves (her)...' You. While Stevie finished her sentence, Alex could only hear a different line echoing in his head;_ I love you._ He looked startled at her. The iron pump part flew out of the tractor and hit Alex stomach. 'OUCH!'.

'Alex? Are you okay?' Alex immediately reached to the right side of his belly, pressing his hand on it, his face covered with pain. 'Damn.' Stevie rushed to him. 'You're all right?' 'It's okay', Alex said quick but felt a pain sting. 'Let me see.' 'It's nothing' Stevie looked a bit annoyed at him. Why did men always have to be so stubborn and brave when it comes to things like this? She took his hand of his stomach. 'It's bleeding', Stevie concluded when she saw little red spots on his shirt.

With a bit of wavering Stevie had taken Alex to the kitchen, getting the first aid box of the shelf. 'It's nothing', Alex repeated again. 'It hardly bleeds'. She gave him another stare. 'Just let me take a look at it, will yah!' She kneeled down in front of him and rolled up his shirt, noticing the scrape on his stomach. Alex looked down and a smirk appeared on his face, though the wound was still hurting. 'You should get on this level more often, Steves.' She threw him a nettled stare. 'Don't make me kick you on thís level. And just stand still.' Alex smiled to himself.

'This needs to get disinfected', Stevie concluded. Alex could feel her fingertips carefully touching the surrounding of the wound. Happily Stevie turned to the first aid box. Not much later she flushed the wound and cleansed it with iodine. 'Ouch, that hurt. You're not doing that on purpose, hey?' Stevie shook her head while she dried the scrape. 'Of course not.' 'But it hurts.' 'Just stop nagging, Alex. That's why man can't bring a child into the world, you're too squeamish about pain.'

She looked up and could see it wasn't a comment Alex appreciated, thinking of the whole infertility lie he had gone through and how much he wanted to become a dad. 'Sorry', she said softly, placing a wound plaster over the graze. He could feel her fingers touching his skin again and wondered why it gave him this weird pleasing feeling inside. While he was still thinking about that she stood up. 'Done. Now get dressed into something clean and be sure it doesn't get wet, and change the plaster within a couple of days.'

He glared at her and she looked at him studied. 'You're okay?' 'Uh yeah of course, will do that.' All of a sudden Stevie's expression changed. 'What?' Alex asked. 'How late is it?' He looked behind her at the clock. 'Past three.' 'Shit, totally forgot the Counsel meeting. Have to go.' Alex had to grin about Stevie's behavior, already trying to make her way out. But she turned around a second later. 'Oh the pump valve! I need that at least for tomorrow'. Alex looked amused. 'No worries, gonna deliver that later. Just go!' She nodded quickly and moved away. Alex went after her and could see her running to her Ute. It made him laugh and shake his head. So typically Stevie.


	21. Chapter 20: Cross that line

**Chapter 20 Cross that line**

_... Alex, do you hear me? You have to wake up. You have to, cause I ... I love you. You're the only man I've ever really loved ..._

Alex mumbled in his sleep; 'Stevie?' His face was covered with a smile and automatically he turned around thinking she would lay next to him, but he turned the wrong side. 'OUCH!' Alex had hit the floor and rubbed his head. Totally awake he quickly moved up a bit and glared to his bed, empty. He looked around confused. What was that?

Later that morning ...

It took him longer than expected and he made a note to himself to order some pump valves, when he finally found one he was on his way to Drovers before he knew it. A lovely sunray was shining down on his cheerful face when he walked upon the Drovers homestead.

He saw her standing near the fencing for the horses that were about to be trained. 'G'day!' She turned around; when behind her Riley came walking to them leading one of the horses. They've both greeted Alex, who hardly paid attention to the younger bloke. 'What brought you here?' Stevie asked. 'The pump valve, you asked for'. Stevie's face showed still a bit unawareness.

'Ohhh, yeah sorry I was about to call you for that. Riley already fixed the old one.' For a second Alex looked at the guy. 'One of my many talents', Riley smirked, seeing some annoyance appear on Alex' face. 'Ow, okay ... how did the Counsel meeting go?'

He decided to ignore the bloke and looked at Stevie. 'Ow, well you know, those old men still think we just have to settle, cause well in the end we're women, so we just should go along with their wise advice.' She raised her eyebrows, and it had irritated her, mostly cause she was late and Jodi had to do it on her own.

'Ah well, those guys will get around eventually. They're not as stubborn as they may seem.' 'Yeah, right, maybe if you're name is Ryan. Next time attend one of the meetings, so you can give us some back-up.' Alex could see she was a bit vexed and wondered if this was really cause of the meeting or it was something he did. When he looked over her shoulder, he saw Riley grinning. Nice, he thought.

'Well, maybe I will ... uhm have to go.' He hadn't expected to leave so soon, but he didn't really feel welcome and beside that, Riley's presence was bugging him. The little guy seemed pretty pleased with himself and Alex wondered what Stevie saw in him. And mostly it bugged him that he had a feeling he was replaced. Alex wasn't used to a male working on Drovers.

It was a couple of days later when the guys had diner at Killarney's cottage. Alex tried to spend as little time at the main house as possible and hanging with Rob, Marcus and Patrick helped a lot. Though there were moments he missed Dave around. The guys revealed their plans for the evening. Rob was heading for Drovers to spend the evening with Jodi. They didn't have much time together so far.

Alex nodded and wondered for a sec. He kinda wanted to visit Drovers too, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. He never really had thought about it like this, always just stopped by like it was the most normal thing to do. Rob glared at him, sensing Alex' thoughts. 'You wanna go with me?' Alex shook up out of his thoughts and stared at his mate. 'Uhm, yeah, okay I will.'

When the guys reached the Drovers' kitchen Alex felt a bit nervous, wondering if Stevie would be there, if Riley would be with her, and mostly if she would like to see him. Jodi and Regan where sitting at the kitchen table, pretty much in silence, eavesdropping. 'Hey ladies'. 'Shhh ...' Jodi said immediately, to be sure the guys kept their silence, but she couldn't suppress a smiling glare at Rob.

Alex nodded to Regan, to ask what was up. 'Stevie's on the phone with Michelle, it's about Rose.' A moment later he could Stevie saying uhm and yes, standing in the hallway next to the kitchen. The friends shared their glances of curiosity when Stevie returned, first looking at Regan, than noticing Alex standing near. 'Hey Alex', she was pretty surprised to see him, but Regan got her attention back right away. 'And?' Stevie's smile grew wide. 'She's coming.' The girls squeezed. 'For a month!'. 'That's great', Regan added, seeing Stevie sighing deeply. She didn't know it would turn out well, but she was glad to see her daughter. It would be the first time after Rose found out Stevie was her mother.

A few minutes later Jodi and Rob decided to find their own place and Stevie glared at Alex. 'Can I talk to you in private?' Alex felt his heartbeat speed up immediately. What was this about? She pointed her head to the hallway and Regan glared at the two and their ways of communicate.

It took them only a moment when Stevie and Alex stood in the hallway, leaving Regan peeking through the doorway. Stevie wiggled a bit, seeing the man in front of her with asking eyes. 'So Rose comes ...', she started, still feeling the adrenaline of the phone call rushing through her body. 'And, well she wants to work as a jillaroo, and ... she doesn't wanna do that on Drovers ...' It took her another breathe and looked away for a sec when she focused back on Alex. 'She wants to get her practice on Killarney ...' It was not even a question but her eyes were telling him enough. 'Okay, no problem.'

Stevie's eyes lighted up. She didn't really know why she wasn't sure of her question; maybe it was the memory of asking it Harry last time that had frightened her a bit. 'Really?' Alex showed a huge grin. 'Of course.' 'That is ... that's great!' Before she knew it, she threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. 'Thanks so much.' Alex looked down with a bit of a cheerful, funny surprised grin. He put his arms around her and held her. It felt different, there had been many times he had embraced her, but this felt ... he couldn't describe the feeling. He just didn't want to let go of her. She looked up, letting go of his waist, but it was in a slow and soft way, like she enjoyed touching him and he could feel it.

When they finally had let go of the other Stevie invited him for a celebration with beer on the veranda. Stevie was full with the whole Rose coming situation. She was excited, but also anxious. How would Rose respond? She was glad Alex was near, cause when it came to Rose he felt like the only one to talk to.

'I just hope she will be pleased to be here', she babbled along. She had said a lot of lines that kinda meant the same, but Alex didn't bother. He knew how much this meant to her. 'I just ... I just hope she knows I love her.' The flash stroke Alex, again._ I love you._ He glared in front of him, wondering, confused, remembering the dream he had a few days ago. 'Alex?' Stevie asked when she noticed his non-attendance. He looked at her. 'Oh yeah of course ... she knows.' He tried to concentrate on Stevie's story, but that dream kept bugging him, till he remember the moment he thought she had said it when he was working on the tractor. Was this really just a dream, or ...? His thought made him glare strangely at her, but Stevie was too overwhelmed with the whole situation to notice it.


	22. Chapter 21: Paper dreams

**Chapter 21 Paper dreams**

The days after the memory came clearer and clearer, though he didn't get a view with it, only hearing her voice saying she loved him, and he could feel her holding his hand. It had crossed his mind; had she said this while he was in a coma?

He took Marcus with him to check on the fences and to learn the guy ride a horse properly. He could sit on it, but that was mostly it. So they took things slow. 'I've been wondering', the blonde guy said, 'what is it like to be in a coma?' Alex looked beside him, watching the city boy and his surprising question. 'Uhm, well just ... uh ...' He didn't really know. 'Do you remember all things that happened before the accident?' Alex nodded, but he mostly wanted to forget it. 'And during the coma?' Marcus was a talkative guy and they got along pretty well, so Alex wasn't too surprised with all the questions, mostly the subject.

'I'm not sure.' Marcus glared at him and he thought it was interesting. When he was little he always had the dream to become a doctor, and although it had turned out totally different, he was still interested in things like this. 'You know my aunt could remember things being said to her while she was in a coma.'

Alex' attention grew. 'She did?' 'Yeah, just little things, also what the nurses said.' They rode a little further, before Alex started to talk again. He tried hard to remember. 'I think I can remember something.' Marcus looked questioning at him. 'I think a nurse said something like she wanted to see my beautiful eyes.' His friend smirked. 'And than you opened your eyes and you saw a hot nurse, who turned you on. That's a fantasy Alex!'

Alex grinned at him. 'No not that fantasy, I mean, really ...' He kept silent for a moment. 'And ... okay don't start laughing.' Marcus looked at him and gave him the assureness he wouldn't laugh. 'Okay, I keep hearing things and dreaming it.' They stood still. 'I just keep hearing 'I love you. You're the only man I've ever really loved.'' Marcus didn't think it was laughable or remarkable. 'Well, that must be your wife. What's her name again?' 'Fiona ...' Alex tried to skip her name and image immediately adding to himself she would be his ex-wife soon. 'It's not her.'

'What?' Marcus said intrigued. 'It's not Fiona, it's Stevie's voice I hear.' It was a big deal saying it, but Alex had to get it off his chest. 'Stevie?' The dark guy nodded. 'Well that's good isn't it? I mean she's pretty hot, uh?' That remark impressed Alex, not really knowing what to say next. 'Maybe I'm making it up.'

'Well, if it is real, would you mind?' Marcus now wanted to know the whole story. 'Uhm ... no I think, I mean she's my best mate for a long time. I guess she loves me in a certain way.' 'Like in 'the only man I ever loved'?' Alex stared at him again. 'Uhm, well ... it could be.' 'Just ask her'. Marcus had his direct way of acting, but it wasn't that easy to Alex. What if he was wrong, and if she really was in love with him, why was she with Riley? It didn't make sense.

'Nah, I can't ...' 'Hadn't expected you to be like this', Marcus grinned. Alex gave him a stare. 'It's not that simple okay!' 'Well let's put it this way, what do yóu feel for her?' It was a very confronting question Alex realized right away. '... she's ...' He saw Marcus looking at him in a way he would only give up if he got a decent answer. 'She ... she's nice.' His friend laughed. 'She's nice, you're sure?' Alex got a bit annoyed. 'She's sweet, funny, beautiful, a bit well, she's Stevie!'. He blurted it out. Marcus' face was covered with a grin that said enough to Alex. 'She's into your system, mate!'

Sometime later Alex had shown how to repair the fences, and now it was Marcus' turn, but instead of paying attention to his friend's way of working Alex' mind wandered off again. Thinking of Stevie. Could he really have feelings for her, his best mate? All kinds of memories ran through his mind, but the one that really caught him, was the moment she had found him near his Ute, after all the lies had broken him down. How it had felt ... how he ... how he almost kissed her. But she had turned her face away and it made Alex insecure. Maybe he had dreamt her words; maybe he just wanted her to say these words, while she wasn't into him at all.

Days later Alex was sitting at the kitchen table; forms were lying in front of him. Annulment papers.

_These tiresome paper dreams_

He was about to divorce. Of course it got to him. It was something pretty heavy and he sighed. There we go, Alex thought, while he signed them. The door opened and Stevie walked in. 'Oy, here you are.' He didn't really look up, but she saw him staring at the papers. 'Uhm, am I interrupting something. I can come back later if you want?' He now looked up and stared into her brown eyes.

_You don't pull my strings  
__Cause I'm a better man  
Moving on to better things_

'Uhm, no'. It was the first time Alex saw her after he realized he had feelings for her and it gave him a weird feeling in his stomach. 'Just ... divorce papers.' 'Oww ...', Stevie said, while she sat down, at the left side of the table. 'Did you talk to her?' She was glad the divorce was about to happen and Fiona could really belong to the past, but she saw a strange look in Alex' eyes. He shook his head. 'No, it was all up to the lawyers.' Stevie nodded. 'Well be sure she signs them, otherwise she shows up years later telling she's still your wife.' She thought of Jarred right away. Alex smirked. 'Thanks for the advice. This time I'll take it.'

They exchanged a few sentences about what was up lately, when Stevie remembered what was the main cause to see Alex, except from the fact she loved just paying a visit.

Stevie was unsure if this was the right moment and Alex could see there was something on her mind. It made him grin about the way she could act. She stood up and fumbled a piece of paper out of her pocket, which didn't really want to work along. Alex still glared at her, and it amused him. 'Do you need help?' His smirk reached her immediately and she almost turned red. 'Noooo ... wait.' She was annoyed with herself for being this clumsy and a staring Alex didn't help either, especially when his question brought in a thought of him coming closer and reaching for her pocket.

_I love her because she moves in her own way  
Well she came to my place just to hear about my day_

'Here!', she handed the paper relieved. 'Uhm, well you kinda have to sign it for Rose to confirm she can become a jillaroo at Killarney.' Alex stared at it and looked up at her hopeful face. She could be so cute, he remarked. 'Let's see, well I guess I can write down another autograph today. I'm popular.'

_I'm a better man  
Moving on to better things_

The Kooks – She moved in her own way


	23. Chapter 22: Whatever's left

**Chapter 22 Whatever's left**

It was clear to Alex that whatever the feelings he had for Stevie were, he first needed to take a step back to overview this last year. It was getting pretty confusing. The puzzle still needs completion. There were still some questions, which needed to be answered, although he didn't know if they ever would, at least he could give it a try.

In the meantime at Drovers Run Riley tried to find out what Stevie's feeling towards him truly were, cause to be honest, he didn't have a clue. She could act different on a daily basis. Sometimes she was pulling him in, sometimes she pushed him away. So when Stevie was about to clean the troughs he offered to help and she accepted it right away, after all there was nothing wrong with getting some help and she liked his company.

He glared at her, trying to find the right words, the right moment maybe. 'Riley, it doesn't bring us anywhere if you keep staring at me like that', she remarked. He felt a little caught, but at the same time he saw it as a chance. 'Sorry, I just liked the view.' He smirked and she looked up at him again. Questionable maybe, not sure what to say next. 'Really', he added, hoping she would at least give a response on that. 'Well, thanks I guess', she got on with her work, not paying any more attention to Riley.

'Is there something bugging you lately?', he all of a sudden asked a few minutes later. 'Why?', she said immediately, standing straight up again. 'You seem distracted some how.' She thought for a moment, maybe some words wouldn't be bad she figured. After all he was her friend. 'Well, maybe you know, or got a clue, but Rose will be here within a couple of weeks.' 'Rose?' Riley looked asking at her. He remembered the name being said by the girls a few times this week, but he hadn't got a clue who she was.

'Uhm ... she's my daughter'. Stevie guessed it was best just to say it and she saw the puzzled look on Riley's face, who tried to get his act together within a sec. A daughter? She never mentioned a daughter. 'I didn't know you had a daughter. Is she ...', he took a moment. There were all kinds of questions running through his head. 'Do you have to baby-sit than?' Riley heard himself saying it, and it was probably the dullest question he could have come up with.

Stevie laughed. 'Well, no ... she will turn 17 next month.' Riley was overwhelmed by the news. 17? That's almost a young woman, about ten years younger than him. Stevie saw his expression and knew it was surely not something he expected, so she tried to make it easy and answered some questions that probably were stuck in his head. 'I got pregnant when I was 15, and eventually my parents figured it was best to let her getting raised by my sister. But she wants to be a jillaroo, so she's coming for a month.'

They talked a bit more about Rose and Riley kind of understood Stevie's mood swings. But she hadn't told him everything of course; cause there was a part she left out of it. The part Rose had found out she was Stevie's daughter, the part of Rose and Alex getting along ... the part of Alex. Cause it wasn't just Rose that was on her mind, it was Alex too.

So they were mates, but it wasn't as simple as that. There had happened so much between them last year that one evening of talking wouldn't heal the wounds of their friendship. Stevie had always wondered why Alex couldn't see through things, why he didn't sense there was something going on. That he was hurting her. He had always been the man that had sensed her needs. He had been there when she most needed it. But somehow that trait was lost. It was like Fiona had taken that part away. The part that made their friendship so strong.

She could remember many times he was too blinded to really feel and see her feelings. The moment he had asked her to be his best man. It had felt like the ground was sinking under her, and to be honest she wished it had. It had been one of the most awkward moments in her life and he just kept dragging on about it, while she had put on a fake smile that could slide of her face with every torturing second the conversation lasted.

The moment she had been crying on his wedding. He had embraced her, but he didn't have a clue what was going on. He just thought it was about their friendship. It would never change, he had assured her. But why didn't he notice it already had changed? Why couldn't he see in her eyes that there was so much more, when she glared at him, almost pleading him to see it, but he just looked at her in a lost grinning way without even a clue, before Fiona dragged him away? Fiona was gone, but what was left?

She wished it could return, that he would feel her again, just in the way it had been. But she wasn't sure it would, but she would try cause she needed it. She needed his friendship so much. So much that she neglected the feelings she had for him. Stevie could feel it in her whole body. Whenever he was around, she had that funny, confusing feeling. It made her weak, while she wanted to be strong.

Alex took the time to think. He couldn't remember he ever thought this much, but he guessed it came along with the fact he was alone. At night he just glared at the ceiling, not willing to sleep. He remembered the kiss. The kiss that had confused them both, but he had liked it and never really forgot it, well maybe this last year. It had felt so overwhelming that maybe the fright had made them agree on being 'just' friends. And he guessed it had been the right decision back then.

But what had made him kiss her? Did he have feelings for her at the time, or was it just a moment of weakness, needing the intimacy. He had needed it, ever since Claire died he had longed for someone on his side. And she was that someone, but why did it never lead to more? They got so close as friends. There hadn't been a doubt she became his best mate. Maybe there were too many things playing on their minds to really think of the possibility there could be more.

He remembered the day she saved his life, the first time. Or maybe it was the second time, cause she was one of the reasons he could live on after Claire's death. All that stupid behavior about going to the farmers counsel ball with Felicity. He said teasingly she made a jealous impression on him.

'_The way you're carrying on ... if I didn't know better I would say you're jealous'_

'_Don't flatter yourself'_

'_Than why keep going on about it?'_

'_Because I'm trying to give you some advice. All right? I'm sorry I bothered'_

'_Come on, just one day you looked at me and went weak in the knees, didn't yah?'_

'_You know I hope she's a bunny boiler. You deserve each other'_

Harry had made his point clear about Stevie and Alex could remember he thought his old man was talking crap. 'Stevie's not wife material.' 'Wife material?' Alex mumbled to himself, turning around to lie on his stomach, holding tight to his pillow. Why on earth was he thinking of this? The ink on the divorce papers was hardly dry.

'_I realized I'd rather be somewhere else'_


	24. Chapter 23: Don't crush me

**Chapter 23 Don't crush me**

Apart from the whole Rose situation Riley didn't get any wiser, cause Stevie's behavior hadn't changed a bit. Pulling in, pushing away. Why was she doing this? Or was it the fact he wanted more and she just saw him as a friend? It all had gone so well, she even kissed him back, till Alex returned. That so called friend of hers.

'Hey, do you know where Stevie is?', Moira asked while she had walked up to Riley who seemed lost in his own world. 'No, why?' 'I thought you should know. You get along pretty well hey.' She said it with a soft grin. Riley kept his silence. 'You're okay?' She looked studied at him.

He watched her and figured it maybe wasn't a bad idea to talk. Moira had been nice to him, someone he could trust. He climbed upon the fencing and looked at her. 'What's with Stevie?' 'What?' Moira asked a bit puzzled. 'Is there something I don't know? Like bad experiences in her former relationships?' 'Uhm ... haven't we all?' Moira said softly.

It had surprised her, but she thought about how to help the guy. 'Well, can't remember she had a serious relationship.' 'Is she scared?' 'Maybe you should talk to her.' Riley glared in front of him and jumped off the fencing. 'She won't say a thing.' 'Than she probably has a reason', Moira said while Riley stood in front of her.

'And what's with Alex?' 'Alex?' 'Yeah, it seems he has a thing for upsetting her.' Moira started to talk. Telling the things she knew. She had been shocked by Fiona and knew Alex was hurt deeply. So she told him about Fiona, and about Claire. Not that it got any clearer to Riley. 'And what does this have to do with Stevie?' 'She's his best mate; she cares a lot about him. And besides that, I think her mind is with Rose at the moment. Maybe it's not the right time.' She petted him on the arm. 'Give her some time. It all will make sense in the end.'

Stevie and Jodi were moving the cattle. They had almost finished their job when they saw Alex appear on his motorbike. They greeted. 'Can I lent her for a moment?' Alex asked to Jodi, who smiled. 'Of course, we're finished anyway.' Stevie glared at her friend, who seemed to be amused. 'Do I have any say in this?' 'Nah', Alex and Jodi smirked in congeniality. 'It better be good', Stevie mumbled.

Finding the last pieces of the puzzle. Somehow Alex felt Stevie could give him some answers, but he wasn't sure how to put it in words. 'So?', she looked at him, standing in front of him, hands leaning on her hips. 'You're today's sunshine, or what?' 'Just get on with it. There's plenty of work to do.' 'Didn't seem Jodi was bothering.' Stevie sighed. Some how she could have those annoyed moments with him, and it was probably a mote of defense.

'I just wanna talk, that's all.' 'About what, the cattle prices?' Alex stared at her, hoping his expression would tell her he was serious and it meant a lot to him. 'Okay, let's sit down somewhere.' Leaning against a tree the two friends sat in silence before Alex finally found his words. 'Have you ever wondered why Fiona lied?' If Stevie would have had a drink at the minute, she would have choked in it for sure. 'What?' She glared at him. 'She always said she panicked, afraid to loose me ...' It was a statement and he looked at Stevie to see if she could add something to it.

'Maybe you should ask Fiona that.' She sounded a bit irritated. 'So you don't wanna talk?' She could hear the disappointment in his voice and Stevie regretted her attitude immediately. He was her mate, he just got divorced, he just wanted to talk. 'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just ... I'm not fond of talking about her.'

'How did you found out she was faking the pregnancy?' It still hurt him with every single word he said, but Alex knew he had to go through this. Stevie glared in front of her, biting her lip, thinking about that day. 'I ... I just guessed.' He gave her a questioning look, a bit pleading to say more. 'I asked her and she admitted it ... I said she needed to tell you the truth ... before the wedding.' He was silent and she knew he was waiting on more. She couldn't really face him.

'Or otherwise I would tell you, she agreed she would.' She continued the story, how Fiona was gone, and she was too late to tell him before the wedding. Alex was thinking back, of the moment before their wedding ceremony, the moment Fiona was so upset. It started to make sense to him. And all of a sudden he looked at Stevie.

'But you didn't tell me?' Her eyes were already teary and it was hard to tell him all this, well not all, she didn't tell him the part where Fiona had said Stevie wanted him for herself. 'I couldn't tell you on your wedding day. I just couldn't and she ...', she sighed, hesitating to continue. 'She what? Just tell me. I need to know', Alex asked, feeling all emotions running through his body. He touched her knee for a moment and it startle her, but Stevie tried to recover as quick as she could.

'She said you would never believe me. I would loose you if I told you.' She stared away, closing her eyes, trying to block the tears. 'Sorry', he said. She looked at him shortly. 'Just sorry'. He had been blind, had he? He saw flashes of his wedding day pass him by. He was so happy back then, but it was all a lie.

'Why did she lied?', he mumbled it again, not really to Stevie. Thoughts were running through his mind and he could feel Stevie wanted to stand up, but he held her back in a reflex. 'Please?' His pleading blue eyes dragged her back. Fiona had mentioned Stevie in their fight and the thought made him look at her. Something in her eyes made it all clear.

'She was scared to loose me ... to you'. The last two words were so soft. It made sense now. He had been on Drovers that whole night, just before she told him she was pregnant. He told her so many times he wasn't anything like Michael. But she never ever had trusted him and the reason for it was Stevie.

He could feel her standing up again, but this time he was too confused to make her sit down. 'Stevie.' He stood up and she faced him, a couple of meters separating them. He could see the tears in her eyes, some look that reminded him of his wedding day. 'I can't Alex ... I just can't'. She shook her head slightly, looking down, and turned around. Mounting her horse, riding away. Leaving Alex totally dazed ...

_All I know is all I feel  
But I'm afraid to feel it_

Don't crush me  
Don't break me  
Been trying to turn the end around  
But I can see it coming  
Don't rush me  
Don't wake me  
Make me forget

She has to tell him but she's waiting

Krezip – Don't crush me


	25. Chapter 24: Rebel heart

**Chapter 24 Rebel heart**

The conversation had upset Stevie and when she got back at Drovers she just wanted to be alone. Lying on her bed she heard a knock on the door. 'Stevie, are you there?' 'No.' Regan softly opened the door. 'Pity I can see your red curls coming from under your pillow.' Stevie took the pillow of the back of her head and turned around. Regan could see the red eyes of her friend. She took a few steps to the bed and sat down near Stevie. 'You wanna talk about it?' Stevie gave her an unsure look. 'Alex?' While hearing his name, Stevie sat up a bit.

'I feel like a sixteen year old', she mumbled. 'Well, at least you're prepared for Rose's stay', Regan said and petted her friend on the knee. Stevie smiled softly and brushed away the tears with the sleeve of her shirt. She sighed and saw Regan's asking eyes. 'Why does it have to hurt so much?' She looked straight at her friend, who could sense her misery. 'I can't just tell him', Stevie continued. 'That you're in love with him?' Stevie nodded, feeling the tears welling up again.

'It's just all this talk about Fiona and ...', another sigh separated Stevie's sentences, '... I think Alex ...'. She couldn't really put it in words, so Regan started to talk. 'Why don't you just be honest with him? What are you afraid of?' 'Everything', Stevie softly said. 'That he won't like hearing the truth? That he won't feel the same?' Stevie nodded, though she knew the truth was the best solution, surely after Fiona's lies. Regan softly smiled. 'You know what I think?' The redhead glared at her friend. 'I think he will like it.' Stevie looked away, she didn't want to hope.

'I've seen you guys when you asked him about Rose ... I've noticed how he looks at you, how he loves you holding him. If you didn't let go off him I think you two would still be standing there.' Regan smirked at her friend. 'You really believe that, do you?' 'I would put big bugs on it for sure!' Stevie had to smile about Regan's comments. 'And besides that, you can't fool me by saying there never ever happened a thing between you two.'

Stevie kept quiet and just gave her a 'what makes you think that?' look. 'What happened before Tess and Nick's wedding?' Regan glared demanding to her. 'How do you know about that?', Stevie replied quickly. 'Ah see I was right'. Regan was pleased. 'So ...' 'What?' 'Geesh, Steves I want some gossip!'

'We kissed okay!' 'Ohhhh, you kissed. What was it like?' Stevie rolled her eyes, but couldn't really suppress the will to answer her question. 'Good, nice, great ... veeeerrrryyyy confusing!' Her smile got wider while saying it and remembering the moment. Regan poked her. 'Oh yeah you're definitely a sixteen year old!'

Jodi, Rob and Riley had left to the pub. The so-called pool night kind of fell in the water after Stevie had cancelled it. Jodi had mentioned the fact that it was probably the talk with Alex that had upset Stevie and it annoyed Riley. Why on earth couldn't that guy just leave her alone? It was always him that caused her pain.

Riley took another swung of his beer looking at the couple in front of him. Jodi and Rob couldn't take their eyes of each other. 'Maybe it's better to go home', Jodi said with a seductive smile, sliding her hand along Rob's waist. 'I kinda like that idea', Rob smirked at her. The blonde girl just nodded and gave him another kiss, which ended up in a strong embrace and a giggle. Riley rolled his eyes.

He was relieved that the two lovebirds had left and finished his bottle of beer. He walked to the bar and his eyes spotted a tall, dark man. 'Alex', he mumbled to himself. Alex was still ran over with thoughts and hoped his stay in the pub would give him some rest, so he had taken a seat at the bar and glared in front of him. Riley walked to him and ordered a beer. 'And give this man one too.' Alex looked up. 'No need to.' Riley looked annoyed. 'Hey, what's wrong with buying a mate a drink, hey?' Alex could see it wasn't the first beer Riley had ordered and figured it would be wise to just accept it.

'That's what mates do, do they? Just like you and Stevie.' Alex wondered what the guy was babbling about. 'Oh don't give me such a look. You know what? You're a lousy mate.' 'What's your problem?' Alex asked, getting irritated. 'You, man, you. Just back off will yah. You're only hurting her. I want you to stay away from her!' He said it with a touch of aggression coming through. Riley was serious about it. He was tired of Stevie being upset over this bloke. 'That's something she still decides.'

'Oh yeah, well I say you better back off or I'll make sure you will.' Alex by now had stand up and looked down. 'You think so ... don't fool yourself mate. She doesn't love you.' Riley grinned at the man who obviously wanted to impress him with his posture, but nothing could hold him back. 'Oh well, just keep upsetting her. It will only drift her into my arms. And that's were she will be, in my arms.' Alex had to smirk about it. For a moment the guy was pretty humorous.

'Yeah right, she's not into anything serious with you, mate.' Alex just hoped he was right about his own comment. This time it was Riley that had to laugh, shaking his head. 'I can tell you; when you were in a coma, it wasn't you she was thinking of. No, not at all. And she loved it, mate, every movement, every touch. She will come back for more.' It wasn't exactly the whole truth, but Riley wasn't in the state to really think clear. He could only feel the anger grew bigger with every word.

Alex had tried to keep in his rage, but the man in front of him was testing him. And he couldn't just let him talk like that. The thought of him with Stevie made him feel sick in his stomach. He pushed him, which seemed to be just the thing Riley had hoped for. 'Don't talk about her like that!' Alex breathed in deeply, seeing the man put on his annoying grin again. 'So we have a bad temper. What do you wanna do about it?' 'Don't force me', Alex said trying to sound calm, but it was far from.

Riley enjoyed seeing his words had the right effect. It wouldn't take much for Alex to explode. 'You know I'll be better for her, cause what do you know about women anyway? Hey, yeah well, what can I say ... or they go insane ... or they end up dead!'

It didn't even take a sec before Riley could feel Alex' fist hitting his jaw. The power of it made Riley fall on the floor. Alex' face was filled with anger, breathing deeply. 'Don't ever say that again!'


	26. Chapter 25: Don't

**Chapter 25 Don't**

It was the next morning and when Stevie saw Riley she immediately noticed the bruises on his jaw and the spot on his lower lip. 'What happened to you?' He could see the concern in her eyes right away and he liked it. Riley knew he had drunk a bit too much last night and probably had crossed the line with his words towards Alex, but if he could take advantage of it he would.

'Just hit a door post I guess.' He looked away and she had touched his face gently to study it. Stevie knew he wasn't telling her the truth. 'Really? What happened.' Riley figured it wasn't a bad idea to tell her about Alex. He just wanted to protect her from getting hurt and if this would lead to make her see and realize Alex wasn't worth the hurt it would be a good thing.

'Alex'. It was only one word but it shocked Stevie. 'Alex? How, what?' She hardly could find the words, but her straight glare said enough. 'We just got into an argument and he decided it had to get physical.' 'He hit you?' It only took Riley a nod.

'What did you say to him?' She hoped to get a clear answer. How could Alex just hit him? There had to be a good reason for that. He had been a fighter when he was younger, but the last years she hardly had noticed a thing about his temper. 'I just don't want you to get hurt', Riley said, hoping that it would have a good effect on her, but she looked puzzled. 'I know you didn't go with us yesterday cause of him, and it's not the first time Stevie. Someone just needed to tell him to rack off.'

She stared into the distance, letting his words sink in. 'Riley ... that's not up to you. I can take care of myself.' She had said it without looking at him, and he took her chin in his fingers to make sure she did watch him. 'It doesn't look like it, you know that.' She forced her face away and turned around. Of course this was confronting and deep inside she knew he had a point. She walked away.

'Stevie? Is it just right for him to hit me?', he shouted at her. She turned her face for a moment. 'No, but I don't wanna get involved in a fight between you two'. She didn't really know what to think of it, Riley had meant it well, but this was something between her and Alex. And Alex? How could he just think violence would be a solution? She didn't want to be in this position and she felt anger and disappointment towards him.

Alex went to Drovers. He wasn't too sure, but guessed it was better to talk to Stevie. Riley probably would have opened his big mouth by now and he didn't want to be portrayed as the bad guy. Of course it wasn't a good thing to hit him, but he deserved it.

In front of Drovers Regan, Kate and Stevie talked about the incident. 'So he just hit him?' Kate asked, seeing her friend just shrug her shoulders. 'I don't know what's going on, but he better has a good reason.' 'Talking about the devil', Regan said while she pointed her head towards Alex' black Ute entering the homestead.

Kate and Regan decided it would be best to head off to do some work at the stables, while Stevie didn't feel the need to talk to him. 'Hey', Alex said when he walked up to her but she turned away to make her statement. 'I bet yah now?', he asked, not sure what the best approach was. 'That you hit Riley? Yeah I know, you're here to apologize to him? He's at the back'. She didn't look at him, just walked away, followed by Alex.

_Don't fight, don't argue  
Give me the chance to say that I'm sorry  
Just let me love you  
Don't turn me away  
Don't tell me to go_

'Stevie, wait, just let me explain.' She turned around, indignation all over her face, not willing to look straight in his eyes. It better be good, she thought again. 'I'm not here to apologize to Riley, I'm here to talk to you.' Nice start, she thought sarcastically. She gave him a stare. 'You didn't have the right to hit him!'

'No I don't, not really ...' What was the best way to formulate it? 'He said some stuff. He was crossing my boundaries. I couldn't just let him talk like that.' 'There's always just a way to ignore it Alex!' She wasn't satisfied with any of his words, so she turned away again. He grabbed her hand. 'Please Stevie, let me finish.' His touch made her freeze for a second; she glared at his hand before looking into his eyes again.

'He's just worried about me, Alex. What's wrong with that?' 'Nothing', Alex mumbled, but he couldn't stand another man around her. 'It's just ... he said stuff about Fiona ...' with a deep breath he finished his sentence, 'you ... Claire'. She was dazed by it, what did he say? 'Why did you tell him about Claire!' It had definitely annoyed him that Riley seemed to know pretty much about him. Cause he had knew his exact weakness.

'What? I didn't tell him anything. Why on earth would I tell him about that?' She was upset by his suggestion. 'I don't know'. He could see she was edgy and the fact the conversation went the exact opposite direction he had wanted it to go made him give a bad response. 'Maybe cause you share the bed with him, you share stuff like that too.'

'What?' She couldn't believe it. It sounded so harsh. Alex glared at her. They both were stunned. 'I didn't mean ...', he said it softly as he could see her face, her upset eyes. Maybe Riley was right; maybe he was only hurting her. The thought of him made his expression change into something sad. Stevie breathed heavy and noticed it.

_No don't ... don't let your anger grow  
Just tell me what you need me to know  
Please talk to me, don't close the door_

Alex glared in front of him, his eyes got teary. 'He's right, is he?' It was in a very soft tone he spoke. '... that I keep hurting you?' She couldn't really answer it with words, but Alex knew what she meant with the look in her eyes. 'I just, I just wanna know the truth.' Their gazes were intense, and Stevie could feel this was the moment to be honest. To tell him why he hurt her so much, but she felt her heart sink seeing him like this and she couldn't bring up the courage. 'What does it matter anyway', she said remarkable powerful with a touch of upset meekness, looking down, intending to leave defeated.

_Don't... don't you wish we tried?  
Do you feel what I feel inside?  
You know our love is stronger than pride _

'It does matter to me!' Alex swallowed seeing her face return again. He continued in a softer way. 'It really does, a lot, please ...' She saw his loving red eyes; she felt his hand which was touching her arm again. The pleading look made her feel so weak. 'Is it true ... is it you?' She wetted her lips, looking almost desperate at him, eyes filled with tears, not capable of saying a word.

_Cause I wanna hear you  
I wanna be near you_

'When I was in a coma did you say you love me. I was the only man you ever loved?' He almost stuttered it, his guards down. It was so hard to ask it and see her like this, but he had to know. 'Please? I lived a lie for too long.' His heartbeat was quick, breathing deep and intense as he looked at her. She bitted her lip, as a tear rolled of her eye. The only thing she could do was nod.

They both were so vulnerable, in need of each other, that a moment later he had drawn her close to him, holding her tightly. She had buried her face into his chest, her hands holding on to his back. Crying ... The embrace made him recover and he softly took his right hand of her back to brush away some of her curly red locks. He placed a kiss on her hair, whispering; 'It's okay.' She looked up at him for just one single moment. The quick glance they shared told her enough. He knew. And there was something in his eyes that showed her he felt it too.

_Don't!  
__Don't give up on trust  
Don't give up on me, on us  
If we could just hold on long enough _

We can do it  
We'll get through it

Shania Twain – Don't


	27. Chapter 26: My sweet Rose

**Chapter 26 My sweet Rose**

'Is there any chance you gonna sit still tonight?', Alex said teasingly. She gave him a look. Stevie felt so nervous. Tomorrow would gonna be the day she would see Rose again. 'I just can't. I don't think I will get any minute of sleep tonight either.' Once again she stood up and walked to one of the veranda posts, leaning to it and glaring at the dark sky. Alex had to smirk. 'Maybe I should keep you company than.' Stevie glared back at him, while he showed her a smile, still sitting in the chair. She softly smiled, shaking her head. Stevie looked in front of her again, sighing deeply.

'Well', Alex said, 'I think I'm gonna go home'. He stood up and walked to her, laying his hand softly on her back. 'You're gonna be all right?' Stevie looked up at him and softly smiled, nodding. 'If you want me there?' 'No it's okay', but she couldn't suppress a deep breath. He gave her a caring look. 'It's gonna be just fine.'

Her eyes followed him as she saw him walking away. It had only been a few days after the 'confession' talk, and it had worked as a touch of relief. They both hadn't quite said the words, but they both knew there was more between them than just friendship. For now it was still just friendship, but the complicated under layer was gone. It was settled for comfort. Stevie loved how Alex could just make her feel supported with just being there. She didn't really know what to expect tomorrow, but she had to do it on her own.

The next day Stevie felt tired and excited at the same time. She hardly had slept and she had hold a picture of her and Rose almost the whole night, tight, hoping it would go well. She could hear a car drive upon the property and within a sec she was outside. Stevie saw her daughter parking her car, yes she had her own car now, she had grown up so quick. And it made Stevie think of the many moments she had missed in Rose's life. She bitted her lip, looking out for her. Not really sure if she could run to the dark blue car or not.

_My sweet Rose  
As the two of us grow  
I want you to know that nothing's quite as bad  
As it seems when you're so sad  
So remember my Rose, remember my Rose_

Rose stepped out and Stevie immediately concluded she looked older, she was taller, more a woman. Her face had a more mature shape and her long dark blonde hair was resting playfully on her shoulders. She could look at her like this the whole day, but kinda skipped out of the thought when she saw her daughter looking at her. They greeted and walked to each other.

The two gazed and seemed a bit lost for a moment. 'You ... definitely are becoming a woman', Stevie said, looking up and down. Rose softly smiled. 'You're beautiful', Stevie said softly and she meant it with her whole heart. 'Thanks. You look good too.' 'You think?', Stevie looked at her clothes. She had been working this morning and still felt dirty, but she didn't really had the time to shape up. 'Yeah'.

'Cool car', Stevie continued the conversation and Rose seemed pleased with it. They started to talk about simple stuff and it went well. Slowly Stevie felt the weight fall of her shoulders. She helped her daughter with her luggage, showed her the room and in the end introduced her to Regan, Moira, Taylor and Riley, while they said 'hi' to Kate and Jodi.

'It's going pretty well, isn't it?' Kate said softly to Stevie, when Rose checked out the stables. Stevie nodded, she could cry of joy, but kept it in. A huge smile had covered her face.

Sometime later Rose and Stevie where in the guestroom, talking and things got a bit more serious. 'Michelle told me a lot'. Rose sat on the bed and was looking at her hands. Stevie had taken place next to her. 'I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I hope somewhere you can understand it. I didn't want to give you away and I surely didn't want you to find it out like this.' Rose glared at her and could see the teary eyes. 'It's okay, I think I'm glad I know now. I thought a lot and ... there's this girl at school who got pregnant last year. She had such a hard time with her parents, well kinda with everything. It made me think of how it would have been for you.' Stevie blinked and softly smiled, comforting. 'As long as you know I really love you, more than anything else.' She laid her hand on Rose's shoulder and rubbed it a bit. She got a smile in return and the two carefully hugged.

_My sweet Rose  
I'd like to say  
I'd like to say no one always gets their way  
And no one always thinks the same  
My Rose, remember my Rose_

When the seasons change  
And the sky turns grey  
When the leaves turn brown  
I'll be around

Stevie could have screamed it out and it had felt so amazing to have her here. Once again she tried to fight the tears, but she failed. 'Aw, don't cry', Rose said as she saw Stevie's face again. 'Well, you know me, softy.' They smiled. 'I guess that's a mum thing.' It made Stevie laugh through her tears, getting an overwhelming feeling through her body, whipping the tears away. 'I guess so too.'

Rose looked a bit away and Stevie could see she was thinking of something, but hesitated to say. 'Is there something?' Rose looked at her. 'Well ... should I call you mum now or?' Stevie gave her a comforting smile. 'That's all up to you.' 'I'm not always calling Michelle mum lately. It doesn't always feel right.' 'Probably at the moment she says you have to get home early, hey?' Stevie said as she petted her daughter's knee. Rose laughed. 'Sometimes yeah.'

_My sweet Rose  
As the two of us change  
I want you to know that nothing stays the same  
But you and I, we will remain  
My Rose, remember my Rose_

Alex had arrived at Drovers, too curious how things had gone and Moira had told him they were in the guestroom. He had looked at the two for a moment, a bit sneaky, but to be sure he wasn't interrupting any thing. 'Hey, how's my new jillaroo?' He walked in and Rose turned around to face him. 'You know Alex', Stevie mumbled. 'Hey Alex.' Rose didn't really know how to react; last time had been pretty heavy. 'I can see where you got your good looks from,' Alex smirked, concluding Rose was becoming a woman and looked as stunning as her mother, who proudly returned his smile.

'So you gonna get some work experience at Killarney hey. I'm a tough boss, so prepare.' Alex said it in a teasy way. 'I'm gonna do my best', Rose answered, while she sat up right. 'Good to hear that!'

While Rose was helping the girls out Alex had a short conversation with Stevie. 'So it's going well?' 'Yeah', Stevie said with a huge smile. 'I can tell, you're all shiny', he smirked. She looked at him and turned her face again to watch her daughter being busy. 'She grew so much.' Alex nodded. 'You've got a beautiful daughter. It runs in the family I guess.' He pushed her softly and she gazed at him. Stevie realized she couldn't really feel any happier. She had Rose near and the man she was falling for showed his sweetest smile saying she was beautiful.

'She's a hard worker, I see. Good to have her on the team.' 'Don't let her hang around the guys too much', Stevie all of a sudden realized Killarney was full with young men. Alex smirked. 'Don't worry I will keep an eye on her. Wouldn't let my daughter with my men alone either.' She looked up at him. 'I mean, if she was my daughter'. Stevie had to grin about the way he said it. 'Good to know that.'

Matt Costa – Sweet Rose


	28. Chapter 27: Is it any wonder?

**Chapter 27 Is it any wonder?**

It was days later. Everything had gone well and Stevie couldn't suppress the constant smile on her face. Life had been hard on her, but now it was nice, very nice.

'Let's say hi to Rose', Alex said playfully to his Goddaughter, bending a bit, holding her hand. They were walking to the girl who walked up to the main house. 'Hey', Rose said softly to the little girl in front of her and shook her hand. 'She's a bit shy'. Rose kneeled down. 'That will go away. So you're Charlotte and you're staying here with Alex. I'm sure he spoils you a lot.' Charlotte nodded heavy and looked up at the tall man next to her. She gazed at the girl in front of her again. 'Yeah, I'm gonna ride the pony.' Alex smirked. 'Yes, Charlotte will get some riding lessons. We gonna visit Drovers.'

Rose smiled. Charlotte was such an adoring child and Alex was wonderful with her. The last days had gone so well. She liked her work at Killarney. Alex had helped her with a lot of things and she felt comfortable with him. She could remember her crush on him last time she visited the area, but it felt like ages ago. The whole truth about her real mother had made her grow up so quickly; she wasn't just a teenager anymore. She was dedicated to her work and wanted to be good at it. Killarney was just the right place for it.

'Alex, are you coming to my birthday party this Saturday?', Rose asked. 'I would be honored'. Alex had to smirk. Rose was just a lovely girl. Charlotte had heard the word birthday and got excited. 'You get presents?' Rose smiled down. 'Yes, well I hope so.' 'How old will you be?' Charlotte asked. It was obvious that the girl had lost her shyness. '17. You know how much that is?' Charlotte shook her head in denial. Rose showed her hands, showing her the fingers that in the end made it seventeen. 'Wow', Charlotte said impressed. 'I'm this', she showed four fingers. Alex caressed her hair softly, proud of the little girl. 'You're getting old', he said teasingly. 'No I'm not', she stated. Rose and Alex had to laugh. 'Well it won't take long till you're five'.

Rose thought it was amusing. 'I always wanted a little sister', she confessed to Alex. 'Not a kid brother?', he asked. 'Nah', she shook her head slightly and smiled. 'I know, little brothers are annoying'. 'I've got two sisters', Charlotte interrupted pointing out two fingers. 'Soo ...', Rose said impressed.

Stevie had showed up at Killarney, standing still for a moment when she saw Alex, Charlotte and Rose talking. A smile appeared on her face again, and she had stopped just to watch the view. She loved it. Alex was great with Charlotte and Rose got along so well with him. She sighed, the sun shining upon them made it even more beautiful.

'Hey Steves', Alex shouted when he saw her standing there. She smiled widely and walked to them. 'I see you have a little visitor. Hey Charlotte', she said rubbing the girls arm softly. 'Yep, we're just about to go to Drovers, aren't we Charlotte?' Charlotte nodded.

Rose looked at her mother. 'You're not here to check on me again, are you?' Rose asked, while she remembered Stevie being around on Killarney more than once this week, clearly not always just for business. 'No, no, I wanted to ask Alex something for the party.' 'Ah, the party, well I'm already invited by this young lady', Alex smirked. 'Yeah I figured that ... we kinda have to use tarpaulin for the backyard. In case it starts raining.' 'Ah I have some'. Stevie smiled at him a bit flirtatious. 'And I kinda need some help setting it up.' 'I see ..', Alex answered amused, curling up his nose, wetting his lips, while they kept gazing at each other.

_Is it any wonder  
__that I find myself hearing your voice  
__whispering light on my raining?_

_Is it any wonder  
__That I find myself falling in ways  
__that I just can't explain?_

Rose stared at the two, than bended down, seeing Charlotte's big eyes staring at the two adults. 'They're lost in their own world. Let's get to the car or otherwise you won't get near Drovers any time soon.' Charlotte didn't really know what was up, but she took Rose's hand and walked with her towards the front of the house.

'Hey', Alex said. But the sight of the two walking away, made his heart melt. 'I think some one wants to go to Drovers', Stevie said smilingly. 'I think so too!'

_Please don't leave  
__Stay in the glow of the embers  
__I just need to see with my own eyes  
__The reason my heart feels it has to surrender  
__To you_

Charlotte was sitting on Hopscotch and Alex was supporting her with his hand, walking little rounds. 'She has talent', Stevie said excited. 'Just like her mother', he concluded pleased, when he remembered something. 'What about I'll bring the tarpaulin in the afternoon. I'm sure we gonna have time enough to set things up.' 'Can it be early, cause we have decorations.' 'So so', Alex said impressed, that's gonna be a hell of a party you're throwing'. 'Yeah well it's gonna be a Latin party.' She had to laugh saying it. 'A what?' He had hold Charlotte still, the girl just loved sitting on the little animal, so didn't respond, just softly caressing the pony with her hand.

'A Latin party', Stevie laughed, seeing Alex' face, 'Jodi's idea'. 'Of course, I should have known.' He just smirked at her, while she was leaning against the fencing. Alex just loved this, spending time with Charlotte and Stevie. He had to pay attention for not staring at her. Stevie could be so beautiful and sweet, just standing there. It felt like the Fiona period had been a long time gone. For now he only had eyes for his two favorite girls.

He held Charlotte on his arm, while Stevie and him chatted along and entertained the girl. 'Don't you have any work to do?', Alex asked teasingly. 'Well yeah, but I thought I would spend some time with you guys'. 'Aha, I see, don't blame me when you're work isn't finished.' 'Nah, I just told Taylor to do my work', she smiled content with herself. Alex raised his eyebrows, smirking. 'Ah, so that's how you do things.' 'After all I'm the part-owner', she grinned once again, looking up at him. 'That's how things work, you should know that', she gave him a teasing smile, and a soft touch on his arm.

_Is it any wonder  
__That the softest touch from your sweet hand  
__Can leave my heart a straying?_

_Do you ever wonder  
__Why this moment when I lost my breath  
__With no words left to say?_

'Yeah I know ...', he glared at her bright eyes and for a moment he was speechless, till Charlotte started pulling at his shirt. 'Alex, Alex'. 'Uh?' Alex looked a bit puzzled. Charlotte pointed down. 'Look at the doggy'. She saw Turbo walking around them, leaving Alex and Stevie both laughing.

_Have you ever wondered  
__Why we question ourselves  
__When everything we do feels so right?_

_Is it any wonder  
__That this space is the only place  
__I wanna be in tonight?_

_Some kind of wonderful  
__Some kind of magical_

Rebecca Lavelle – Some kind of wonderful


	29. Chapter 28: Mamacita

**Chapter 28 Mamacita**

Stevie, Regan and Jodi were at the back of Drovers, getting the garden ready for tonight's party. They have moved the music speakers and player under the roof, which would lead to the marquee. 'Let's test it!', Jodi said excited about the whole party set up. She had arranged it and was glad that they finally gave another party. It had been ages. Regan glared at the records lying on the table. She didn't recognize anything. 'Come on', Jodi said, 'give me one'. She already reached her hand.

Regan had taken one of the records in her hand, staring at it, turning it around. 'Belle Perez', she mumbled, 'I didn't know Fiona had a twin sister'. Stevie snagged the CD out of her hands immediately. 'Geesh, she really looks like her.' Jodi rushed to the girls. 'Let me see ... than Fiona must have been the evil one.' The girls had to laugh. 'Where do you got these from anyway?', Regan asked, looking at her cousin, while Stevie still was focused on the record. 'I ordered them online', Jodi said proud. 'It better be good', Stevie mumbled, 'but be sure Alex doesn't see them'.

When the music started to play the girls looked at each other. 'Latin ...', Stevie said not too enthusiastic again. 'Why do we have a Latin party again?' 'We can't just give a dull party like everyone around here. It's for Rose, so it must be special', Jodi stated, though Stevie questioned if this really was all about Rose or Jodi just wanted to throw a party. 'Well let's dance to it', Regan said.

_On the beach with all my friends just singing, dancing  
Watching all the Chico's walking by  
S__omeone yelled party here tonight_

The girls started to shake their bum, accompanied with lots of giggling and laughter. 'I can get used to this', Jodi said excited. 'Well,_ I_ sure can get used to it'. Alex smiled amused to himself; while he had watched the girls do their moves. Within a sec the Drovers girls turned around, feeling caught and a bit embarrassed.

_When I turned someone was standing there before me  
He had brown skin and jet black hair_

'Alex!', Jodi cried out, 'you were watching on us'. 'And?', he said laid back, looking at Stevie teasingly, who felt her cheeks turning red. 'You know what they say; hips don't lie'. Jodi wanted to turn off the music, annoyed with Alex' presence. 'Hey, don't turn it off, who is it anyway?' Stevie moved nervously before the desk with the records. 'No one you know', Regan said quickly. Alex raised his eyebrows, wondering why the girls were acting all nervous all of a sudden.

'Okay, well anyway, I have the tarpaulin in the back of my Ute, so if anyone wants to give me a hand?' Stevie walked with him, still feeling uncomfortable, waving quickly to Regan to put away the records.

She walked quickly after him, while he turned his face to her and still raised his eyebrows. Drover girls could be weird, he concluded not for the first time. 'I guess Rose isn't around?' 'No, she's riding with Kate and Taylor so she won't see anything till it's finished.' A moment later they reached Alex' Ute.

'So I can't congratulate her yet?' Stevie concluded the same thing, but didn't make a move to get the tarpaulin, neither did Alex, who looked a bit studied at her. 'May I congratulate the mother of the birthday girl than?' It made Stevie smile, cause she totally hadn't thought about that. She was now the mother of a daughter who celebrated her seventeenth birthday. Really feeling like the mother, not the aunt.

_With a smile I looked straight at him  
And I could feel his latin melody _

Alex didn't really get a response so he figured it was the right thing to do. He touched her hand softly and placed a kiss on her cheek. It was such a simple thing, but it felt like something big. 'Congratulations mamacita. You must be proud.'

_When he spoke I heard the rhythm of a Spanish guitar  
He touched my hand I felt so free and then he said these words to me_

She gazed at him, wondering, and a funny look on her face. 'Mamacita?' Alex had to smirk. 'That's Spanish for mum.' 'Didn't know you could speak Spanish', she said teasingly but also a bit surprised walking to the other side of the back of the Ute to pull off the tarpaulin.

_Venga mamacita  
I don't know why, girl you make me high_

_I can't lie, latina girl looking shy  
Venga mamacita  
I can't deny, in your big brown eyes I wanna die  
Latina girl with me tonight  
Venga mamacita_

'Well there's probably more stuff you don't know about me', he said smiling flirtatious at her. 'Oh smooth one, Ryan', Stevie laughed. The two carried the tarpaulin to the back and started to set it up. It all went pretty smooth and it didn't take long before Jodi could hang on the swings. 'And how can I tell it's a Latin party, except from the music?', Alex asked, looking around.

'Well, we have cocktails and you have to dress latino style', Jodi said, sounding like she all had figured it out, and there was no way this party could fail. 'There will be beer, will there?' Alex showed a worried expression; sure he wouldn't really feel for a party without beer. Stevie walked by teasingly, sliding her hand softly along his waist. 'No worries, there will be beer, Alex.' 'And you will be there too?', he asked smirking, turning around to see her walking away from him, she throw him a smile.

'Of course I will, cause I'm the party girl's mamacita'. 'Than I will be here for sure', he couldn't suppress the constant smirk on his face. Jodi gazed at the two, raising her eyebrows, while Regan walked to her holding a few glasses. 'They're so obvious, aren't they?', Regan said close to Jodi's ear. 'Not a bit, geesh', the blonde girl said, rolling her eyes.

_And he asked would I be here tonight  
__He said there's no place else he'd be  
_

Belle Perez - Mamacita


	30. Chapter 29: The light of my life 1

**Chapter 29 Light of my life 1**

Stevie took a deep breath, handing Rose her present. 'I hope you like it', she was obviously nervous. Rose smiled softly at her, starting to unpack. 'Awww, it's lovely.' 'You like it?' 'Yeah it's so pretty, thank you!'. Rose hugged her pleased; letting go a moment later to look at the necklace Stevie gave her. 'I want to engrave something in it, but I first wanted to be sure you would like it.' 'Cool', Rose said, while Stevie took the necklace to put it on. Rose rushed away to the nearest mirror to glare at her mum's present.

'Well everything is set. Let the guests arrive'. All the Drover girls were present, mostly waiting on the boys of Killarney. Michelle and Tom couldn't make it, but Rose had a long conversation on the phone with Michelle earlier and it was mostly about how excited her stay was. Stevie had a small talk to her sister too, and could sense Michelle was a bit jealous and worried if her daughter wouldn't be too excited about everything. Stevie figured it wasn't the time to think about that and just wanted to enjoy the evening.

Alex and Marcus came together, and the dark guy held a present for Rose. It was a few minutes later the guests could hear Rose squeal. 'That is so great Alex. I love it!' She cherished the dark brown leather hat, which she was holding. It was perfect. 'Charlotte kinda picked it'. Rose put it on and waved at Stevie who was just talking to Regan, preparing the cocktails. 'Look what I've got from Alex. Great hey!' Stevie laughed. 'It fits you perfectly.' She smiled at Alex who stood next to her.

'But you have to take it off now, cause I've got something for you.' Rose looked excited and questioning at her mother. 'Another present?' 'Just something little, but it's a Latin party after all, so it will suit you.' Rose glared at her, while she felt Stevie stroking her hair softly, wondering why she was doing this. All of a sudden Stevie showed a red rose. 'Cause you're my rose'. Rose had to smile while Stevie placed it in her hair. 'Now your ready to party'. She stared at the young girl, her hands resting on her daughters' shoulders. Stevie could almost fell the tears come through, but blinked them away, watching Rose proudly.

Almost all guests had arrived and they started to dance on the Latin beat. Stevie walked up to Alex, holding a cocktail. 'Looking flashy Alex.' Alex looked down at his shirt. It was full with flower prints, mostly covered with a yellow color. 'Hey, it had to be Latino style.' Stevie smirked, concluding it was the most ugly shirt she had ever seen. 'Where on earth did you get it?' 'Nick gave it to me', Alex said serious, not aware of the ugliness of his shirt. 'Well, I bet it wasn't Tess that picked it. Nick probably had to get rid off it.' Alex looked at her; a bit disappointed she obviously didn't like it. 'What's wrong with it? It's Latin'.

Stevie laughed. 'Latin? It's more Hawaii.' 'How should you know?' Stevie had taken a corner of the shirt softly rubbing the matter between her fingers. 'Believe me, I know. I've worked on Hawaii.' Alex glared at her surprisingly. 'As a lifeguard', she said playfully. 'That's why I'm so good at saving your life.' She pushed his arm softly. He looked her up and down, imagining her in a lifeguard swim suite.

She had to laugh about the way he looked at her, nearly drooling. 'I didn't know that', he said while he restored himself. 'Well there are a lot of things you don't know about me either', she said playfully while she stood next to him, watching the people dancing in front of her. She bit her lip, still holding her smile. Alex looked at her, smirking.

It was some time later when Riley and Sandra showed up. Of course everyone noticed Sandra's presence, but because no one wanted to ruin Rose's party they just went along. 'What are you doing here?' Alex said a bit annoyed when Sandra stood next to him. 'Riley invited me as a guest.' 'Riley?' Alex looked wondering. 'Yeah, I offered him a job at Kinsella's, he took it.' Alex had to suppress the feeling of annoyance and irritation. It had been such a lovely evening so far, but Sandra kept on talking.

He just glared to the sight in front of him. Stevie chatting happily with Rose, noticing the lovely short jeans skirt she wore, finished with a blue top. 'I see you already have laid your eyes on some one new', Sandra said while she had followed Alex' sight. The man just ignored it. 'I knew you would fall for a Drover girl again. They're a bit easier to handle'.

Sandra took a bite out of a chip while saying it. 'I have to say, that ex-wife of you was pretty tough competition, though she had one weak point. She was too impulsive, you have to think things through before doing it.' Sandra was pleased with herself and couldn't resist saying these things to Alex, who tried to ignore it once again, but deep down inside her words had effect.

'But look at it the bright side, at least you know Stevie is capable of having children.' She smirked before walking away amused. He rolled his eyes, taking a swung of his beer.

Stevie had noticed Sandra talking to Alex and walked up to him. 'Where did she got the guts from to show up here?' 'Ask that little man there', Alex pointed. 'Riley?' 'She offered him a job, taking it.' 'What?' Stevie was flabbergasted. How on earth could Riley take a job at Kinsella's, the training program hadn't even finished? She wanted to confront him with it, but Alex held her back.

'Think about Rose, it won't help getting into an argument. He isn't worth it anyway'. Stevie noticed Alex' words made sense and turned to him. 'And I rather have you with me', he showed her his sweetest smile, and she couldn't do anything else than forget it and smile back at him. 'Have I mentioned you look great tonight?' She smiled widely, a bit shy. 'No'. 'Well you do ... care for a dance?' Stevie smirked at him. 'You and dancing on this music?' 'I kinda meant you dancing and me watching. Shake those hips baby!', he said teasingly while he let her to the dance floor.

_Will be continued ..._


	31. Chapter 3O: The light of my life 2

**Chapter 30 The light of my life part 2**

The night got later. Jodi and Regan were having a girls moment, standing near the so-called improvised cocktail bar. Rob had let go off Jodi for a moment so she could catch up with her cousin. 'And when are you gonna make your move?' Regan almost choked in her cocktail, looking questionable at Jodi, when Rose joined the girls. 'Oh come, Marcus. Don't say you don't think he's hot.' Regan hesitated for a moment to say anything. Rose glared at Marcus. 'Okay he is', Regan blurted out.

'He kinda is', Rose said while she sounded like it was the first time she concluded it after working a week with him at Killarney. The McLeod's stared at the girl. 'But he's blonde, not my kinda guy.' 'So what is your kinda guy?', Jodi asked amused. 'Who would you choose?' Rose thought for a second. 'Riley is kinda cute'. Regan once again almost choked in her cocktail, getting a look of Jodi right away. 'Maybe you should help Moira with the snacks', Jodi said quickly to Rose, who figured that wouldn't be a bad idea.

Regan and Jodi glared at each other. 'Nice to know she has the exact same taste as Stevie', Jodi said, getting a wondering look of Regan, who took another swung of her cocktail. So she liked Riley, that wasn't that bad, Regan thought. Jodi smiled and whispered pleased; 'She had a major crush on Alex last time.' 'Noo ...' Jodi nodded heavy. 'Like mum, like daughter. Maybe we should try to keep Rose a bit away from Riley.' The two girls agreed.

Alex and Stevie were dancing closely. The Latin music made them laugh a lot, while trying to move on it, but when they finally found their grove it worked perfectly.

_I can feel the power inside  
Taking full control  
I can feel your energy now  
Deep into my soul _

Love generates electricity  
Lighting a flame in the night  
Come on and shine, come on and shine  
You are the light of my life, Light of my life

_She was so attractive  
Innocent and pure  
He was tall and handsome  
With a love that had no cure _

Match was made in heaven  
Rivals made on earth  
Time will tell the story  
Of a love and what it's worth

They didn't care, lovers never do  
Paying the ultimate price  
Being together was all they knew  
Hold on tight and don't think twice

When the song was finished they went for a quick drink. 'Pretty amusing this', Alex said. Stevie nodded while taking a sip of her orange cocktail. 'It's pretty intense to dance to.' 'Well you sure got talent for it', Alex smirked, loving the way she moved. They decided to give it another try.

It didn't take them long to get in the right mood again and danced really close. Stevie had turned her back towards Alex, playfully moving down to the music, while Alex couldn't resist supporting her hip with his hand. This sure was some hot music he thought, while he mostly let Stevie do the dancing part. She just loved it, like she could throw all her worries from the last year away, showing how happy she was at the moment.

_Be my boy of golden sunlight in the morning _

_When I wake up with you  
Be my boy so bad tonight  
This is a warning! Be my boy _

We can make a symphony out of a sound bite  
Just watch me baby  
Feel my body while we're dancin'  
Common honey ...  
That's what I like

All I wanna do,  
I wanna do, baby  
All I wanna do,  
is get the most out  
of our precious time

Stevie turned around to face Alex again and their eyes locked, dancing along they felt like it was only the two of them. Softly touching the other they got closer and closer. The tension was hanging in the air. They could only feel each other, hearing the beat and the lyrics coming through. Their bodies were covered with a touch of sweat. It got pretty hot in the marquee and it wasn't just for the lovely weather this night, and the people partying in it.

_I'll give you real love  
So hot _

_You know it's cool ... baby  
I'll give you real love  
I'll get you in the mood ... _

Be my boy  
Just let's get down and  
Make some real love  
I can take it baby  
Be my boy I want you now  
Give me a good time ...  
That's what I like

They gazed at each other, their bodies touching each other. Stevie rested her hand on his chest and gazed into his blue eyes. It reminded her of how much she longed for him. Alex blinked realizing it could be the moment they could become really close and thought it was good to act like it. He moved his hand to the side of her face, softly touching, feeling Stevie respond to it.

He looked at her lips, asking to be kissed and leaned in. Stevie still gazed at him, totally captivated by the moment, when all of a sudden she looked down to his chest, sliding her hand down. 'I think I'll go and get some air', she said softly, without looking at him.

With a wondering look 'what on earth just happened?', Alex saw her walking away to the side of the veranda, which wasn't covered with the tarpaulin. Stevie stood still, gazing into the distance, relieved that she felt a light breeze on her face. Alex approached her, hands in his pockets. Maybe it was better to leave her alone for a moment, but he just couldn't. If there was anything wrong he wanted to know it. More than ever he wanted honesty. It was the remains of Fiona's lies.

'You're okay?', he said while walking around her. She looked at him. 'I just wanted to get some fresh air', she nodded. 'Ah', for a moment Alex glared in front of him, not too sure if he could look her straight in her eyes. 'I guess it got pretty hot inside.' He could hear the music still playing.

_I'll give you real love  
So hot you know it's cool ... baby_

Alex was serious about it and Stevie looked up at him, still not seeing his eyes, but she couldn't resist pushing him softly. Alex looked at her a bit surprised with the fact she reacted playfully. 'Hot uh', she said. 'I meant it serious, you know. I can't help that you are the one with a dirty mind', he smirked which ended in another poke. 'Can you stop doing that?'. Stevie had to laugh, but she could see his serious expression appear on his face again, sliding along his arm instead of poking it this time.

'It's not that I don't want to, cause I do. It's just not ...', she had stared at his arm, while her fingers where still touching it. '... The right moment', Alex finished her sentence. They gave each other a soft smile of understanding. 'I have Rose here for a week now. She's living under the same roof for the first time when she was a baby girl.' Alex listened attentive. 'I wanna focus on Rose now. Sorry.' He could hear in her voice that she really regretted not being able to be with him right now, but it made sense. 'I understand', he said softly. He caressed her face for a moment, making sure she didn't need to worry about him.

Than he saw Rose showing up behind Stevie, making her way outside. 'I think someone wants to have a chat with you'; he pointed his head to the girl, smiling. Stevie turned around and saw her daughter hesitating for a moment, not sure if she was interrupting anything. 'I'll see yah later', he said sweetly. Stevie nodded and sighed.

He walked passed Rose and smirked at her, getting a smile back. Rose turned her face to see him walking away. 'He's pretty cool, isn't hey?', she said to Stevie, walking closer. 'Except from that ugly shirt of course'. Stevie had to laugh about it. 'Yeah, I already made clear I'm not really fond of it.' 'But you're fond of him ...' Rose said, trying to find out what was exactly going on. Stevie didn't really know what to say to it.

'It's not that I fancy him', Rose said quickly showing a smirk. Stevie felt relieved. It was the exact thing that was on her mind. She didn't want to show the way she felt about him if Rose still had a crush on him. 'I mean, he's cool, but way too old for me ... but perfect for you.'

Stevie had to smile again. She once again was surprised with her daughter's behavior and didn't really know why she had deserved it. She bitted her lip, trying to suppress the smile on her face. 'He is, isn't he?' Rose nodded heavy. 'Cool! Hey you're gonna dance with me or what?' 'I wouldn't dare to say no to that', Stevie said pleased, while the girls hardly could hold in their squeeze._  
_

_All I wanna do is get the most out of our precious time_

Belle Perez – The light of my life / Real love


	32. Chapter 31: No one heals me like you

**Chapter 31 No one heals me like you**

'Have you seen Jodi?', Stevie asked once more, but still there was no satisfying answer. It was a week after the party and Stevie couldn't remember seeing Jodi after early this morning. 'Maybe she went to Rob?' Kate suggested. 'Wouldn't she just say so?'

Maybe when she was younger Jodi would have done that, but now as a part owner she had her responsibilities. And how much she loved being with Rob, it hadn't affected her work. Stevie had checked her room, but there was nothing special about it and decided to go to Killarney.

'Have you seen Rob, or Jodi?', Stevie asked a bit in panic, having a weird worried feeling in her stomach. Alex stared at her, a bit questionable. 'I thought Rob would be over at Drovers.' 'No', Stevie shook her head heavy, while noticing that feeling getting stronger. 'I haven't seen her since this morning and it's almost diner time.' 'Well maybe they just decided to spend some time together?' Alex could see Stevie nervously looking around, playing with her lips; try to keep herself under control.

'Relax', Alex said while laying his hand on her shoulder. She glared straight at him. 'I've got a bad feeling about this Alex.'

They had searched Rob's place, no specific sign, though his mobile was still there. It was an hour later, still without having any news about Jodi or Rob. Calling to Jodi's phone didn't help either, even after another try, probably the tenth time. They had gathered around the kitchen table and Alex could see how worried Stevie was. He still thought there could be a logical explanation for it, though Rob wasn't the man to just leave like this, only if there was something wrong.

'Can we just go and search for them?', Stevie said while playing with her cup. They looked at each other and everyone seemed to agree. Stevie and Alex took the Ute to search the area, so did Marcus and Regan. Kate and Taylor took the horses to check out the paddocks before it would get too dark. Rose and Moira stayed at Drovers in case someone would call. Patrick did the same for Killarney.

Stevie kept glaring out of the window, while Alex drove. 'I think I see, oh no, it's nothing'. Another disappointment left her lips. It happened a few times before tonight; no sign. Alex wished he could calm her down, but he wasn't sure of Jodi and Rob being save either. With Rob's past anything could have happened.

'Maybe we should just stop and stay the night here', Alex said. 'This ain't much useful and driving back will take us long.' Stevie looked at him, giving in, though she wanted to search longer. They took the back of Alex' Ute. He made sure there were blankets and as the weather was pretty much okay they could sleep there.

Stevie was sitting silently at the back, looking down at her fingers playing with her shirt, sighing. Alex joined her and looked at her, searching for comforting words. 'Maybe they have a good reason', he said softly, not really convinced of his own words. She gazed at him, tears appearing in her eyes. 'They wouldn't just leave. They wouldn't'. She kept glaring at him, looking sadly, biting her lip. 'Come here'. It was all he could do, holding her in his arms. Saying that everything would be okay, wouldn't really work.

'What if something bad happened?', she spoke softly, her head leaning to his chest, her hand near, playing with one of the buttons on Alex' shirt. 'Don't think about that. It's no use'. 'But I can't stop thinking about that', she mumbled, looking up again, while tears left her eyes. He caressed her hair away. 'I know', he whispered and placed a kiss on the top of her head. 'We can call the police in the morning if they're not back. They will be gone for 24 hours than.' Stevie nodded, brushing away some of her tears. 'We should get some sleep'.

They were lying close, covered with blankets, still watching into the twinkle of their eyes. Alex took Stevie's hands in his and softly kissed them. Once again he wished he could say 'It all be all right', but he couldn't fool himself or Stevie. 'Can you hold me?', she said while looking intensely at him. He softly smiled. 'Of course'. He pulled her closer, an arm holding her close, while she felt the warmth of his chest. She was sobbing softly and Alex felt a bit helpless. 'Please don't cry'. She looked up, tears covering her eyes. He caressed her cheek softly.

_Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key  
_

He placed a kiss on her forehead, as she even snuggled up to him closer. It even made her smile a bit, and he was glad to notice it. They tried to get some sleep, but it took them long to really fall a sleep.

_Never again  
would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe_

That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe

When Stevie woke early in the morning, she immediately felt Alex' strong embrace. 'Hey', he softly spoke, when he saw her open her eyes, moving her body. Alex had been watching her sleep; he couldn't resist and didn't want to wake her. She softly smiled at him, while she started to remember the situation they were in. 'Is there any news?' She could already read Alex' face. 'No'. They had taken the SAT phone with them in case, but still no sign, so they decided to drive back and let the police do their work.

There was an awkward silence on Drovers, some sadness spreading over it. Everyone tried to keep their hopes up, but when the night came they knew it would be two days without hearing anything of Rob and Jodi. Rose stayed on Drovers these days, to help and to keep informed. Stevie wanted to have her daughter close.

Stevie and Alex were sitting on the bench before the Shearer's quarters, gazing into the distance. Another day had passed and the police didn't have much hope for any news soon. 'I have to call Meg and Tess. They're gone for too long, I have to tell them'. Alex had put his arm around her and looked at his mate. 'I can do it if you ...' Stevie immediately shook her head. 'No, I will, I don't know how to tell them that Jodi left without a sign, but I have to.' She breathed in deeply, already being reluctant to the conversations with Jodi's mother and sister. Alex' hand leaned on her shoulder and played with her hair.

'Strange, isn't it? Just gone like this. I can't even remember what my last words to her were', Stevie spoke softly and the conclusion made her so sad. Alex pulled her close. 'I just hope they are save. Maybe they had to escape without telling us where they go, so no one can be a treat to us?' All kind of scenarios had passed their minds these days. 'They would have taken something with them', Stevie said. 'I guess so'.

Rose walked up to the two and Stevie smiled softly. 'I don't know what to do around the house', she said. She sat down next to Alex, who put his other arm around Rose. 'It's so quiet without Jodi'. 'I know', Alex said, holding the two girls close, who felt save with him. 'We just have to keep believing'.

_Come to me now  
And lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie  
Say it will be alright  
And I shall believe_

_  
_Sheryl Crow – I shall believe


	33. Chapter 32: Untitled

**Chapter 32 Untitled**

It was weeks later. Still there was no sign of Rob and Jodi and they tried hard to keep things up at Drovers, but Stevie had a tough time. It had gone all so well till the moment Jodi disappeared. She thought about how happy Jodi had been with Rob, how it all was working out, and now there was this emptiness. She was missed.

These days Stevie felt the strong support of Alex and the closeness of her daughter. 'How can we make it without her?' Stevie said, a question she kept repeating. Regan rubbed her back, feeling the sadness of her cousin not being around. 'We only can do our best. Wherever she is, Jodi would want us to go on.' 'Or just sit down and drink a beer', Stevie said softly. 'That would be an option too', Regan softly smiled to her friend.

'You're doing a great job Steves. And don't forget you have me, Kate, Moira, Taylor and you know if you would ask Riley, he would help too.' Stevie sighed about the thought of Riley. He had left her training the last horse, but happily everything was finished before Jodi disappeared. Now he worked at Kinsella's and the rumor went there was something going on between Sandra and him, but that was the last thing Stevie worried about.

'And you have Alex', Regan added. Stevie looked at her, nodding softly, thinking of Alex. 'I know, he has been great, not only for me, but also for Rose. He's acting so strong while he has seen Jodi grow up and Rob was a good friend of him.' Somewhere Stevie was a bit worried about that. It sometimes felt he put so much effort in being strong just to support her that he would forget about his own feelings. But after all he was a guy so maybe this was the best way for him to deal with the constant doubt.

Rose had taken an extra working week cause of all the commotion and offered up her free vacation week for it. There only were a few days left till she would leave Drovers Run and Stevie didn't really know how to feel about it. She was thankful for the time she had with her daughter, but it had made her long for more. Rose on the other hand had made clear she wanted to come back to Drovers.

'I'm pretty curious how my stay at Michelle and Tom will turn out', Stevie said, looking at Alex who sat next to her. She would leave with Rose to talk things through. There was definitely a lot to talk about if Rose really wanted to come back to Drovers after she finished school. 'It will be all right', Alex said, glaring at the beer he was holding in his hand. 'Rose is old enough to make her own decisions. She will almost be eighteen when she can come back. Michelle and Tom have to understand that, besides Rose can visit them on a regular basis.'

It sounded all so easy, but Stevie wasn't sure if that would be the case. 'Anyway, if I don't see you anymore before you leave. I just wanna say I'm probably not around when you return', Alex said. 'Oh yeah you had a thing in Adelaide'. He had to laugh about the way she said it. It was some banking business for Killarney. 'A thing, you could call it like that. Anyway, I called Dave, gonna spend some time at his place.' Stevie looked up at him and smiled. She was glad he would go to Dave. 'Say hi from me'. 'I will. Well I'm gonna get some sleep, cause I'll have a early day tomorrow with the last working day of Rose.'

Stevie's stay at her sisters place wasn't that bad. She could see the hurt in Michelle eyes when Rose told her she wanted to go back to work on Drovers, but her sister knew there wasn't a way to talk her out of it. Working against her would only make her want to live with Stevie more. For now Rose had to go back to school to follow her last courses. If everything went well she would finish in eight months.

Stevie had a hard time to let go of Rose. 'Don't worry ... mum', she said the last word really softly so Michelle couldn't hear it. 'I'll come back and we will have lots of fun. Thanks so much for the stay and I hope you'll hear from Jodi soon. And say thank you to Alex once more, for everything. He's great, so you know what to do ...'

Rose could hardly stop talking, half hugging her mother. She winked making her last comment. Rose had been aware of the chemistry between Stevie and Alex and had figured she could be the reason why they not openly showed their feelings. She hoped that would be different when she returned.

Stevie was smiling through her tears. 'I'm gonna miss you so much'. She held her daughter in a strong embrace, seeing Michelle watching the two, knowing they had developed a strong bond and she couldn't help to feel jealous, after all she wasn't Rose's biological mother.

Alex' stay at Dave had been great, like good old times and he couldn't wait to tell Stevie about it and to hear how her visit had been. He even had confessed his feelings for Stevie towards Dave, who asked if there was someone in his life when he told Alex about his new girlfriend. Dave had picked up his life in the city and was truly happy with his move, but of course he had missed the countryside and Alex' friendship.

It wasn't remarkable that within a sec Stevie and Alex had found each other's company again when they were both back home. There wasn't much time to talk so they told each other a short version. 'A new girlfriend? Really?', Stevie said surprised and happy for Dave. Alex nodded. 'She's nice, met her, pretty, cute, bit of a weird sense of humor.' 'Perfect for Dave I see'. Alex had to laugh. 'Surely, those two together don't make sense for the common people'. For a moment they glared at each other, and a weak shy smile appeared on both of their faces.

'We should talk soon', Alex said while he prepared himself to leave to Killarney again. 'Why don't you come to my place the day after tomorrow.' Stevie nodded pleased, already looking forward to it. 'And take a six pack with you, will ya?' 'I shouldn't dare to show up without it', Stevie said teasingly.

'Good, I knew I could count on you.' Alex gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, saying goodbye. There was this light pleasing feeling washing over Stevie, seeing him walk away. She sighed, a smile on her face, her lower lip pressed inside. For a moment she felt like a lovesick puppy, hardly able to wait till she would see him again.


	34. Chapter 33: Taste like paradise

**Chapter 33 Taste like paradise**

Strangely enough Stevie had doubts what to wear. It sounded stupid to her cause she had met him so many times like this, but it felt different. Regan smiled at her, amused. 'You're nervous'. Stevie threw her an annoyed look for a sec, but couldn't help to put that grin on her face right after. 'Do you think it's too much?' 'Depends', Regan stared at the top and baggy trousers Stevie wore, 'what kinda impression do you want to give him?' She had to laugh a bit.

'I don't know. I feel stupid'. Stevie threw another top back on her bed. 'You know Steves, I don't think he will mind what you wear. He's crazy about you anyway, that's clear.' Stevie sighed. 'I know, but this is really like the first time we get together without ... well ... you know.' Regan understood it. 'You wanna give it a go, do you?' Stevie smirked widely, lying herself down on the bed. 'I guess I waited long enough'. 'That's one thing that's for sure.'

Regan thought for a moment, looking at Stevie's clothes. 'Take this blue/purple shirt, let your hair the way it is, bit behind the ears and just wear these trousers. They're easy to take off.' 'Regan!', Stevie gave her an amused look. 'Hey, it could come in handy.'

In the end Stevie decided to go for her favorite jeans. 'How do I look now?' 'Casual, cute, sexy and a natural beauty', Regan noticed contented. 'Okay, that must do the trick. Wish me luck', Stevie said, while grabbing her car keys and six-pack.

They sat outside and the tension was obvious hanging in the air. Constant glances and soft smiles were shared, while Stevie throw in her flirting tactics. Alex had to grin when she once again played with her hair. 'You're looking pretty tonight'. She looked away shyly, but smiled to herself that this all seem to work. 'Thank you'. 'It's beautiful to see the moonlight reflect in your eyes.' She had looked up again and his comment made him look deep into her eyes, which she blinked.

He was playing it romantic she figured and it took her by surprise. 'And that's not the only thing', he touched her face gently, still glaring in her eyes. Stevie could feel the weakness taking over, softly breathing out, and leaning into his hand, while his thumb caressed her face. Closing her eyes for a moment to feel his touch even more intense.

Alex could see the effect it had on her. She loved it; slowly opening her eyes to gaze back into his, which seemed to move closer. His fingers sliding down her cheek to her chin. Their stares started to focus on the other's lips, both knowing what would happen next. It would be the perfect moment.

They could feel their heart beating fast, but calmly at the same time, moving closer. Alex wetted his lips for a sec, before he came close enough to feel her breathing against his face, softly opening his mouth slightly to kiss her.

Their lips met, touching gently, but with the next move they were pressed tightly, opening their mouths to let their tongues slip through. It send a shiver down her spine and it fell even better than Stevie remembered from their first kiss. It was definitely a turn on, but it also had something delicate. Both of his hands were touching her face as Stevie's right hand slided to the back of his neck, caressing it, playing with his hair. Her other hand found a way to his body. It tasted like paradise, getting more intense and passionate with every move.

When their lips softly parted, not really willing to let go, their faces stayed close, trying to catch their breath, breathing heavy. They opened their eyes to meet each other. 'Wow', Stevie softly whispered. Alex slided his fingers down her face again, tenderly, like it was something precious. He swallowed from arousal, before smiling softly at her.

How could he ever been so blind, he questioned himself for the hundredth time? They let go of the other, knowing there was time enough. Sharing sweet glances again. 'Shall I get us some new beers?' Alex asked, getting a nod from Stevie in response. He stood up and Stevie's eyes followed his body. Wearing his dark blue jeans and white shirt he was surely the most attractive man around.

_Black is the colour of my true loves hair  
His lips are like some roses fair  
He has the sweetest smile and the gentlest hands  
And I love the ground whereon he stands  
_

_I love my love and well he knows  
I love the ground whereon he goes  
I wish that day would soon come  
When he and I can be as one_

The Corrs – Black is the colour (cover)


	35. Chapter 34: Heat

**Chapter 34 Heat**

The thought made her stand up and go after him. Alex had just got the beers out of the packet placing them on the table to take of the caps, when he felt two hands slide along his waist. He could feel a shiver making his way down as he turned around. She held him tightly, smiling flirtatious at him. There was no doubt about it she wanted him badly and it excited him.

'I couldn't resist', she said. 'I know, I'm hard to resist', Alex answered grinning. 'Well I have been able to resist you for a few years'. 'But eventually you have to give in, do you?' She nodded, licking her lip playfully. Alex just realized how damn sexy she could be like this. His eyes wandered to her breasts, which her shirt made him look into.

His hand moved to the side of her neck, softly traveling down, touching her collarbone. Stevie looked up, when she met his blue eyes again, shining seducing. She moved her body closer to his, her hand moving to the side of his head to pull him close. He leaned in to kiss her again. She felt his tongue slide over her upper lip, eagerly their lips met. Their hands traveled along their bodies, totally lost in the moment of passion.

Alex leant down to the kitchen table; his legs separated so Stevie could still be as close to him as she wanted. It turned out to be really close and her hands traveled down to loosen his shirt from his jeans. All just on touch, not willing to break the kiss. Alex could feel her hands slide under his shirt, touching his skin; following the tracks of his abs.

For a moment Alex smiled, opening his eyes, almost giving up on the kiss. But Stevie was too eager to just let him look at her like this. That annoying smirk of him was a turn on. She wanted to kiss him deeply again, but he moved his face aside for a sec. 'Slow down, cowgirl', he said teasingly, never thought he would say that to a woman. But he wanted this to never end, so slow would work fine, though he doubted if he was capable of that.

He brushed her hair away, kissing Stevie in her neck, which made her close her eyes and moan softly. He moved down, his hand on her shoulder to move her shirt away a bit. Alex stopped quickly to kiss her lips again. It surprised her, while she still had her eyes closed, but eagerly she replied his kiss. This time in a slower way to let her tongue taste his lips even better.

His hands moved down, loosen up her shirt, but Stevie made up it was her turn to tease him and lay her hands on his to stop it. Although her lips said something totally different, Alex moved a bit back.

He could see Stevie smiling broadly. 'Just teasing', she said while she made clear that she wanted to have the lead for now. She moved her hands to the buttons on his shirt, her head close to his shoulder, while Alex could smell the perfume and shampoo of her hair. He just closed his eyes and moved his hands down her back, sliding to her bum.

She loosened his buttons, still with her body close to his, so they could feel each other breathing respond to the excitement. He didn't wear an undershirt, so she took it slow, touching the skin that showed while removing his shirt. It almost fell of his shoulders as she reached the last button, placing a kiss on his skin.

Her hands undid his shirt of his shoulders and arms. Stevie didn't look him in the eye. Her face was still beside his head, placing little kisses in his neck and on his shoulders. Her fingers moved from his shoulders to his chest, feeling his little chest hairs on the way. She could see his stomach moving heavy with every breath he took. Leaning her forehead on his shoulder, she moved her hands lower, feeling his muscular body.

Stevie moved her head up, kissing along just under his ear. She couldn't resist whispering it: 'I want you', moving up to his cheek. Her words and the sensual way she pronounced it, made his heart skip a beat. Her face was now close to his, but she didn't kiss him, just feeling his nearness was so sensual.

Her eyelids opened up and looked him in the eye. It said enough. Alex knew it was his turn. He let her move a bit back, keeping eye contact. Looking her straight in her brown eyes when his hands got to her shirt. She could feel him pulling it up till over her breasts when she raised her arms to pull the shirt over her head.

She shook her hair, looking at him again. Alex loved how her red curls came down, playfully framing her beautiful face. His hands moved over her back, to her shoulders to slip off the strings of her black bra. He still tried to focus on her eyes. It felt like a deep connection. His fingers reached for the closure of her bra. It wasn't the smoothest movement and it even made them softly smirk for a moment, but in the end he got it loose and shove her bra of her breasts, still touching her skin. It gave her another shiver. The fingers of his right hand softly caressed her tattoo.

She was perfect, he concluded as he looked down. If he wasn't already sure of the fact she was his dream woman, he would be tonight. She pulled him closer, biting him in his lower lip softly, playfully, glaring into his eyes again before kissing him passionately. Their naked upper bodies were pressed to each other, their heart beat, their breathing, it almost connected.

After a few minutes of making out the two stared at each other. 'You wanna continue upstairs?' Alex asked, while his fingers played with a curl of her hair. She smiled dreamingly. 'I would love to.'

They had difficulties to make their way upstairs, cause their bodies continually kept searching for the other, reflected in their lips. When they finally got upstairs Stevie leant with her back to the door of Alex' bedroom. She kissed him playfully. 'I never been here', she said smiling. He kissed her smile. 'I bet you have to get used to this room.' 'Mmm ... can't wait'.

Almost falling into the room, which brought along some giggling of Stevie, Alex looked seriously at her for a moment. His hands were reaching for her body again, touching her waist softly. 'You're sure, are you?' He whispered. She softly smiled reassuring, nodding, pulling him closer. Holding his huge body tightly. Just a moment later they tumbled on the bed.

Stevie glared at him, with a sense of weakness, mixed with passion and admiration. She couldn't remember feeling this way with a man before. It felt so right. Her hands were stroking his chest when he moved up again after kissing her body. It was a moment they stared intense to the other. They both knew this night would be the start of something new, something delicate. Their love was delicate.

They started to kiss again, gently this time, speeding up and deepening the kiss slowly. Stevie's hand brushed along the side of his face. She could feel his left hand sliding down along her body, moving up a bit so he could reach for her belt. He wasn't able to loosen it without looking at it, but Stevie was helpful and slighted her hands between their bodies to get rid of it. He traveled down over her skin; his hands, his lips, his tongue. She looked at him, starting to breath heavier as he got close to the skin that was covered with her jeans. He loosened the buttons and moved the jeans down her hips and legs.

They turned over and Stevie sat on top of him, moving down to kiss him again. His hands holding on to her waist, feeling her almost naked body close. She traveled down his, like she tried to cover every birthmark that possessed his skin. Her hair was twirling over his chest as she moved up to take his jeans off.

She carefully shoved his dark jeans down. Alex moved up, taking her into his arms. They started to kiss passionately and their hands slided down. Stevie moved her hand to his blue boxers, undoing them. A moment later they were both totally naked.

Alex' hand slided down, caressing her skin, which made her open up her legs. She moaned with every touch. His fingers explored the area. Her body shivered, making her stir. Alex kissed her belly button for a moment when she recovered and pulled him close. She couldn't stand it any longer and Alex was relieved. He had tried to withhold himself as much as possible.

Her pleading eyes made him move up, his hand still supporting her groin. She pressed her hips tightly to his, holding on to his neck and back, releasing another moan as they started to build up a slow rhythm which was deep and intense.

Alex kissed her, breathing heavy into her ear, feeling his heartbeat speed up. Their bodies started to cover with sweat with every move they made. She moaned deeply, while whispering his name, throwing her head backwards for a moment. He was eager to her request. Feeling the moment coming closer.

_It's hot tonight  
And I love the heat  
It makes me sweat  
It makes me dream  
It's hot tonight  
So hot tonight  
And oh...it feels so right_

_In the night  
Your touch is a feather  
And in the heat  
You make me shiver _

Alex breathed heavy, touching her sweating body, looking at her. He brushed away some of her hair that stick to the side of her face, seeing the appeasement on her face as they still were one. Not just their bodies, but also their heart and souls. His tongue touched her lips, kissing her right after, making her pull him into a strong embrace.

They couldn't get enough from each other and it became a long hot night. All the love and passion they had kept inside for so long found their way out.

_Still taste your touch  
You know I do  
It's what you do  
I still want you_

_And in the middle of the night  
I want you here  
In the middle of the night  
I know you're near  
In the middle of the night  
That long hot night_

Rebecca Lavelle - Heat


	36. Chapter 35: Don't say you love me unless

**Chapter 35 Don't say you love me unless forever**

The next morning Alex was the first one who woke up. He hadn't slept that much and decided to take a shower. Cause after all it was just a normal working day and he had agreed on an early meeting with the guys to talk the day through. His eyes had stared for minutes to the woman sleeping beside him. It brought a smile on his face; she was so sweet like this. Alex didn't want to wake her, so he kissed her softly on her cheek and made his way to the bathroom.

The sound of running water slowly woke Stevie up. She turned around a bit, not opening her eyes yet, but the memory of last night was coming back. She smiled moving to the right side of the bed, but it was empty. Stevie opened her eyes and not much later she realized Alex was under the shower. She snuggled up to his pillow as a replacement.

Alex walked back in. His hair wet, still a few drops of water covering his body; towel around his waist. Stevie looked at him. 'Hey cowgirl, good morning', he said it covered with a huge grin, curling up his nose, moving closer to give her a quick kiss. She greeted him dreamingly. 'I hope you slept well.' Stevie nodded pleased, brushing some hair out of her face.

He made his way to the closet to get his clothes. Stevie just stared at him, watching every move. 'Why are you up so early, she asked. He looked shortly at her, pulling up his jeans. 'That's what farmers do, remember?' She was slightly disappointed, wishing she could just lie in his bed snuggling up to him for the rest of the morning. Work was the last thing on her mind and she guessed the girls would totally understand that.

He sensed her thoughts and moved closer to the side of the bed. 'We can have breakfast together later, if you want?' He was buttoning up his shirt and sat down on the bed to put on his socks and working boots. Stevie moved up, half covered with the sheets, sneaking up behind him. Her hands went around his waist and she kissed him softly in his neck. 'Do you really have to go?' 'Yeah', he said turning his head to her a bit. She gave him another kiss under his ear. 'Cause I don't want you do to go. I haven't even thanked you', she whispered in his ear. 'For what?', Alex asked while bending a bit down to put on his right boot.

'For last night.' 'Ah, I guess I need to thank you for that one too', he smiled but at the same time tried to ignore her asking for attention. 'You were great', she mumbled, placing another kiss, tightening her grip along his waist. Alex laughed. 'I know, you weren't bad either, but I really have to go. The sooner it's done, the better.' Stevie wasn't intending to let go of him. 'Just a few minutes, please?'

Alex sighed, knowing it was hard to say no. She wanted to pull him on the bed. 'No no, we're not going to do that', he grinned. 'Aw Alex, I didn't know you were such a fun spoiler.' She gave it another try with her lips and he just let it be. Knowing it was better to just sit and not turn, cause that was what she exactly wanted and would make him surrender.

'I love you so much', she said while letting go of his neck. It was on a serious tone, not just to please him. Alex could hear it came from the bottom of her heart, and he sighed, glaring in front of him. For a moment it remembered him of the attempts Fiona had made, the words, the need for him to answer them. And he felt stupid that it made him think of her.

_I know this face I'm wearing now  
I've seen this in my eyes  
And though it feels so great, I'm still afraid  
That you'll be leaving anytime  
_

_Don't say you love me unless forever  
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay  
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it  
Make it real or take it all away  
_

He stood up, resolute. Stevie looked questioning at him, wondering if her words made him stand up. He didn't look at her, but mumbled under his breath that he had to go. 'Alex?', she asked, but he already left the room and it didn't look like he would come back.

_Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth  
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt  
Still a little hard to say what's going on _

_You step a little closer to me  
So close that I can't see what's going on  
_

It felt so strange, but he just couldn't look her in the eye and tell her he loved her. The moment had made him realize how much he loved her and it scared him, afraid of losing it once more. Saying it would make him so vulnerable and he wasn't ready yet.

_'Cause it's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna scare her_

Stevie got out of bed, saw Alex' bathrobe to put on and walked after him. 'Alex, wait!' He walked down the stairs, got his coat to make his way outside. She rushed herself to reach him while he still was in the house, moving quickly over the steps of the stairs, but walking down the second part of the stairs she tripped over the bathrobe.

He could hear her stumbling down, the bang which she made hitting the floor. For a sec he stood still, holding his breath, turning around, rushing through the hallway. 'Stevie!' It felt like his voice echoed through the house, seconds became minutes, and his heartbeat started to work overtime.

_Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness  
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed_

And there she was, lying on the floor, her eyes half closed, blood dripping through her bathrobe. He stood still, frozen to the ground, a few meters away from her. His hands holding on to the back of his head, his mouth open, breathing heavy. 'Nooo!'.

He looked at her, but he couldn't move closer. He simple didn't have the courage for that. 'Stevie?', he mumbled softly, swallowing, hoping for some reply. Alex glared at her, seeing blood covering the floor. She isn't breathing, she isn't breathing, it kept repeating in his head. He couldn't see her breathe.

_It's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna lose_

He panicked even more, not sure what to do. He rushed outside, standing still for a moment, glaring to the ground, still breathing heavy, disordered. 'Hey Alex!' He turned around, which felt like ages. Marcus walked up to him and all of a sudden saw the despair showing in Alex' eyes, teary eyes. 'What's up?', he asked his friend.

Alex blinked, trying to get words out of his mouth. 'Go inside, go, the stairs.' He half pointed with his hand, standing there bewildered. Marcus stared at him for a moment, before running inside.

Alex was out of himself. He couldn't go back inside. His brain had left him and he only could think of getting to his Ute and drive away. He didn't want this; he lost her.

_Stones taught me to fly  
Love taught me to lie  
Life taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannonball  
_

Trying to block every thought that wanted to enter his mind he drove away. But he couldn't block the images floating before his eyes. Stevie lying there, no sign of life ... Claire, no sign of life. Tears started to fall down his face, floating like a cannonball.

_Stones taught me to fly  
Love taught me to cry_

_When you know that you just don't know_

Damien Rice – Cannonball  
The Corrs – Don't say you love me


	37. Chapter 36: What hurts the most

**Chapter 36 What hurts the most**

It was three months later. Stevie was lying in her bed, but like many nights before she couldn't catch her sleep. She lay the novel she had tried to read away. Sighing deeply she just stared in front of her when she heard a knock on the door. Regan showed her face around the door, smiling softly. 'You're still awake'. It was more a conclusion than a question. Her friend nodded.

Regan walked into the room, sitting on the bed, glaring at Stevie. She was worried about her friend. There had happened so much these last months and Stevie looked like she was tangled up between hope and despair. Regan gave her another supporting smile, rubbing Stevie's leg. 'You should really get some rest. Don't try to think so much.' Stevie blinked, looking back. 'I try, but I can't. How can I do this without knowing where he is?' 'Shh ...', Regan said, moving a bit closer. 'It's no use. You know we did anything we could, but there's no sign.'

Stevie sighed again, looking away for a moment, feeling tears welling up. It surprised her there were still tears left. 'I can't give up on him', she whispered, wetting her lip. Regan looked at her friend's big teary eyes and she wished she could make things better, but there was no way. 'You should think about yourself now.' She gave Stevie an asking look, seeing her respond with a half nod. 'Well, get some sleep'. Regan petted her and walked out the room.

Stevie lie down, covering herself with the sheets. It sounded simple, but it was far from. How could she just forget him? She could remember her last moments with him, knowing she would do anything to get him back. Realizing that, a tear started to roll down her cheek.

She could see the looks on Regan's and Kate's faces when she had asked where Alex was. And she had known immediately he wasn't there. There to support her in the hospital. He was gone. Since that moment her world had crashed down and she tried to understand. She remembered the talk with Marcus a few weeks later.

'Can you tell me exactly what happened?', she asked to the man sitting on the couch in front of her. She had asked it before, but this time she wanted him to be more specific. Marcus tried to remember every little detail. He knew it wouldn't bring Alex back, but maybe it could ease her pain. 'He was standing not far from the front door. He looked confused. His eyes were covered with tears.'

Stevie followed every movement of Marcus' lips, every word repeated in her mind. 'Alex, he ... well I asked what was up, and he seemed so diffuse, but said I needed to go inside, the stairs.' 'Was it all he said?' Marcus nodded. 'And I went inside, and saw you lying in front of the stairs. So I kneeled down, called the ambulance. I couldn't do much, so I tried to find Alex. He was gone. First I thought he was getting help, but ...' Stevie closed her eyes. It was hard to hear this. How could Alex leave her like this?

'So he has seen me lying there?' 'Must be', Marcus said convinced. 'So ... how did it look?' It was one big black hole in her memory. She didn't really know she felt of the stairs, but it must have been the case. 'You, well. You lay weird, your position. Blood was almost anywhere on the floor. On the back of your head. Your eyes were half closed. Your arm was obviously not in well shape.'

It was tough for Marcus to think back to it. It had scared and shocked him at the same time. Her bathrobe had half covered her. It was mostly the blood that had frightened him. Stevie still looked at him, hoping for more information. 'It was scaring', Marcus continued. 'For ...'. He wasn't sure if he could say it. 'What?', Stevie asked immediately, pushing him to finish his sentence. 'For a moment I thought you were dead, or you wouldn't make it.'

Her eyes grew big when he told her that. 'You think that Alex could have thought that too?' 'Maybe, that's possible', Marcus said calm not noticing what kind of thoughts were running through her mind. She looked away, shaking her head. 'If he', she mumbled. 'What?', Marcus asked softly.

She looked up at him. 'If he thought I was dead ... it could be the reason he went away.' 'Why would he leave?' The blonde guy wasn't really following her thoughts. 'After Claire, it makes sense.' Stevie mostly said that comment to herself. Marcus gave her another questioning look. Of course he had heard Claire's name a few times before, but he didn't know exactly what had happened to her. Stevie skipped her thoughts and glared at Marcus. 'He found Claire dead. He was the first one who reached her after the accident at the cliff.'

'You think he got scared?', Marcus asked, to be sure he understood this correctly. Stevie nodded. 'He probably couldn't take it, and he wouldn't have a reason to come back, to be confronted with my death.' The thought had given her hope, but had frightened her too. What if he really thought she had died? Maybe he did something stupid to himself. And would he come back? Nor his parents, Tess and Nick, or Dave had heard from him. No one ... would he just go and build a life somewhere else?

Since that moment she couldn't get any rest in her mind or her body. Stevie could still feel him, his smell, and his touch. Everything that reminded her of that perfect night. She never had been happier. She had him so close, so close till she had said those words. Maybe they had frightened him. Maybe he wasn't ready yet. Maybe, even maybe, he wasn't sure if he loved her. That last thought was something she tried to ignore. She wished she hadn't said it. That she had given him some space, but she had loved him from the bottom of her heart and she still did.

She was scared to give up, scared to hope. But mostly cause she wanted him to know. To know she was alive, more than ever.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then  
and just let 'em out   
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again  
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me_

What hurts the most  
was being so close  
And having so much to say   
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could've been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you every where I go  
But I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder_

Rascal Flatts – What hurts the most


	38. Chapter 37: The call

**Chapter 37 The call**

He could see her standing in front of him. The wind played with her red curls. She looked so beautiful. There was a weird surrounding. It felt like grass, sun, but it could also be nothing. Alex didn't say a thing. He stared at her and saw her reaching to him with her hand. Her face looked calm, but her eyes were sad. 'I need you', was all she said. Before he could answer his attention got dragged away. He could hear someone say his name.

He turned around and all of a sudden he felt like he was Argentina. Not so much the surrounding, but just the smell and feeling. He wanted to turn around to see Stevie again, but there was nothing behind. Tess walked up to him. 'So Alex, will you finally get your bum into action? There's a lot to do.' She walked away from him and he looked around, noticing he was in a blue stable.

He awoke, dazed for a moment, looking around him. Alex was aware of the fact he had been dreaming, but it felt weird. He didn't have any rest in his mind since that day. He tried to cope with the loose, cause that was what it was; he had lost Stevie. The view of her not breathing had captured his mind. There was no hour that passed that it didn't show in front of his eyes. But lately, when he finally had settled a bit down in his apartment, there was a feeling coming over him.

A feeling that wondered if it all was true, or better if he shouldn't have ran away. He had left town, making his way to the big city; Sydney, to not feel the hurt. But of course it hadn't changed a single thing. The constant pain was living in his heart. There were moments he wasn't sure he could go on, but somehow he had managed to get those thoughts out of his mind.

Now he was thinking of Nick, Tess. The ones he had left behind; Dave, Charlotte. He was thinking of Jodi and Rob, the way it had made him feel. The way it had made Tess feel. The constant doubt if her sister was somewhere out there, save. How could he make her go through that once more, how could he do that to his own brother?

That feeling had started to nag those last days. Maybe he should just give them a call, just to let know he was save, trying to deal with his loose. She had meant everything to him. He finally had felt real love again and he felt guilt. Guilt; he had walked out on her, being a coward. Guilt; he left her, being once more a coward.

_Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret  
__But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away,  
__Show the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken_

He hadn't deserved her. She was too good, too beautiful, and too sweet for him. No wonder he lost her. Why didn't he just say he loved her? Why didn't he just stay? Enjoying her presence, her love. It all had felt so good, so right. It was shattered into a million pieces.

This dream made him decide to call. To call Tess and Nick ...

Driving, that was all he could do. Getting back to the place he once lived, the love he once had. Tess' words were still running through his mind. 'She's alive.' It had been the shortest phone call with her ever, but it had been the most important one. He couldn't think, not even hope. Alex had made sure she couldn't call him back; that she didn't have his phone number or place he stayed. He had thought about it, cause he was not ready to go back, he maybe never. He thought.

But within a minute it all had changed. He had simply said he was so sorry that Stevie died. Tess had guessed it was Alex within a sec. Saying his name she added he was wrong. She was alive. Totally shocked by her words he had put the phone down, grabbed some stuff and drove away.

It had been just as impulsive as him leaving Killarney months ago. It had taken him a few weeks to get to Sydney. And this time he would try to be as quick as he could. It would be a long trip, but it would be worth it. He wasn't sure what he would find, but he wanted to see it with his own eyes. See if it was true; Stevie alive.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And never knowing  
What could've been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

Rascal Flatts – What hurts the most


	39. Chapter 38: Show me a vision

**Chapter 38 Show me a vision**

Alex had been driving almost none stop. He could hardly keep his eyes open, focused on the road. But he knew it would be worth it. The thought of Stevie still being alive kept him going. He wasn't sure what to find. What he would do if he saw her, but just to see her alive would be enough. Whatever would follow was up for later. This felt like a second chance and he would do anything to make up for his absence the last months. The closer he got to Drovers the more he felt she was still alive.

Stevie was doing the dishes in the kitchen. The girls had gone out and although they had begged Stevie to join her she had refused the offer. An evening for herself wouldn't be that bad she figured. Though she hoped she could keep her tears inside for once, so doing the dishes probably would distract her enough for now.

Alex drove immediately to Drovers. He couldn't wait to first visit Killarney, sleeping, eating. He didn't want to scare her but he just had to know. He drove upon the homestead and he felt his heart beating in his throat. A deep sigh let him out of his Ute.

Stevie had just placed another dry plate next to her when her senses heard a soft noise, which made her look up into the window before her. The glass she was holding slipped out of her hands, falling into the water again. Her heart skipped a few beats. She glared into the window seeing the reflection of a man, and a second later she realized it was Alex. For a moment she thought she was going crazy, starting to hallucinate.

Alex stared at her. There she stood, alive. Alive ... it kept crossing his mind and for a moment he was flabbergasted. Overwhelmed with all kind of feelings rushing through him. Their gazes met each other in the window reflection, both holding their breath. Quickly Stevie turned around to still think she would find nothing behind her, but he was standing there. Tall, skinny, long hair, old clothes, his face needed shaving and his eyes looked exhausted. They were red cause of being tired, but mostly cause of the view they were facing. His mouth was opened slightly glaring at the woman in front of him.

_It felt like a given  
Something a woman's born to do  
A natural ambition  
To see a reflection of me and you _

'Alex ...', it left her mouth without realizing she wanted to say it. He could see the stunned look on her face, the sad look in her eyes, the tears already welling up. Her hair was loosely tied together, a shirt was hanging widely around her body, a simple jeans and her relax boots completed the picture.

He blinked his eyes, trying to get his act together. 'You're alive', he mumbled doing a step forward. She stood still, nodding softly, before realizing she had been right. He had thought she was dead and that thought and the fact he had made his way back made her shiver. Her breathing almost choked, feeling the need to cry heavy. And so she did, big tears were rolling down her face, her body shaking, supporting every sob, and trying to calm it down a bit with her hands covering her face.

Alex rushed to her, not sure if she wanted to have him close, but he couldn't stand to see her like this. He didn't want her to cry, especially not about him, but he realized she probably had done it so many times these last months and it all had been his fault. He felt a huge guilt creeping up inside. How much he had hurt her. He couldn't stop his teary eyes from breaking into tears falling down on his face.

_And I'd feel so guilty  
If that was a gift I couldn't give  
And could you be happy  
If life wasn't how we pictured it_

He touched her arm softly, hoping she would let him near. Though Stevie had tried to block every thought about seeing him again these last weeks, she had give herself the feeling she would feel anger, disappointment. But at this moment it was mostly the shock and the need to have him close that had the upper hand.

He wrapped his strong arms around her drawing her closer to his body. She buried her face in his chest and when she felt this save feeling washing over her she put her hands around his waist, holding him tight. Alex looked into the window seeing their strong embrace. He was only able to breath through his mouth and the view was blurry from the tears that covered his eyes. A blink made them roll down again. He lay his head down, feeling her curls touching the side of his face.

They stood there for some time, just letting their tears out, feeling each other's closeness. 'I'm so sorry', Alex mumbled finally. 'I shouldn't have gone away. I should have stayed with you in the first place. But I ..', another sob made him pause. Stevie softly looked up at him. 'I know ...'. She didn't want him to say he thought she was dead; she didn't want to hear it. He looked down, his face holding an expression which showed how torn apart he was.

Her face was wet, red, from crying, but her big brown eyes shown through. His lips were trembling, but once more he said how sorry he was. How sorry he was he had let her down. Stevie couldn't really take another sorry and she moved a bit back, looking back up, straight into his eyes. She softly shook her head, begging not to continue. Alex knew exactly what she meant. He had to stop saying these things.

_And sometimes I just want to wait it out  
To prove everybody wrong  
And I need your help to move on  
Cause you know it's so hard  
It's so hard_

He could feel her heavy breathing pass his neck. She let out another sob, sliding her tongue along her lips, the salt taste running through her mouth. 'Just don't ever leave me again Alex'. And with that she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close, crying once more. 'I won't', he whispered, swallowing. He held her close, one hand leading to her hair, softly touching it, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

_I can live for the moment  
When all these clouds open up for me to see  
And show me a vision  
Of you and me swimming peacefully_

When they finally let go awkwardness filled the room. They both knew there was a lot to talk about, but this was probably not the right moment. 'You look exhausted', Stevie said while she once again noticed Alex' appearance. Alex ran his fingers through his hair, feeling a bit ashamed for the way he looked; probably like crap. 'Uhm .. I've driven all the way ..'. She looked questioning at him. '... All the way from Sydney.' He shortly told her about the phone call he had with Tess and how he had made his way to Drovers.

When he finished the two looked wandering at each other, not sure what to say next. Alex tried to break the silence. 'You look exhausted too.' He gave her a soft smile and wanted to brush away the wetness on her cheek but Stevie moved back. It startled him a bit. She looked down, standing still. It wasn't this easy. It wasn't this easy to let him get close again. Of course she was glad he was back, but he had abandoned her and she was protecting herself while moving back when he tried to touch her face. She knew what effect it had on her when his fingers touched her and she didn't want to go anywhere near that. Stevie still didn't look at him. Alex glared at her and already regretted his action. She obviously didn't appreciate it.

_Last night you told me  
That you can't remember  
How to feel free_

'Sorry', he mumbled once more. He had never felt more lost for words. She bitted her lip, looking up for just a sec. 'I think you better leave. You're probably tired and now it's not the right time to talk.' He nodded heavy. 'Yeah, you're probably right'. But it broke his heart to see her like this. That she pushed him away, not willing to let him in. But he understood, she probably had felt something close to this when he had walked out on her when she told him she loved him. He could still smack his head for that.

_It's so hard when it doesn't come easy  
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast  
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy  
It's so hard_

Dixie Chicks – So hard


	40. Chapter 39: Ours

**_I'm not sure what to do with Rob and Jodi so far, so you will see! ;)_**

**Chapter 39 Ours**

Next morning the girls had noticed Stevie's behavior was different. In some way she was calmer, but her head seemed in another place most of the time. 'Stevie? What do you think?', Kate asked when they were planning to move the cattle for tomorrow's sale. 'Stevie?', the girl once repeated when the red head finally seemed to notice someone was talking to her. 'Uhm yeah, I think it's a good idea.' Kate gave Regan a quick look, which made the McLeod understand that a talk with her best friend was really needed.

They let Grace muster the cattle while Kate and Tayler would clean the troughs in the Eastern paddock. Regan gave Stevie another look, not that she noticed. 'So ...', Regan stated, 'and now you are going to tell me what's going on.' Stevie looked up, puzzled. Regan sat down next to her at the kitchen table. 'You seem to have entered another world through a star gate.' 'Ow ..', Stevie said, still a bit absent-minded. 'So .. you're gonna tell me or what?'

Stevie sat up a bit, turned towards Regan, taking a deep breath, letting her shoulders down. 'Alex is back'. 'What? How? When?' Regan was totally surprised with this news. 'He returned yesterday', Stevie said pretty calm, which lead to suspicion from her friend. 'So that is a good thing I assume. I mean, have you talked to him?'

Stevie softly smiled, letting out a sigh. 'He just was here. It's all so weird and we didn't really talk.' Regan looked studied at her. 'You don't mean you two ...' 'No! Of course', she slapped Regan softly on the arm. 'Hey it could be if you haven't really talked'. She paused for a moment, pulling her mouth a bit. 'So you haven't told him anything?' Stevie shook in denial. She seemed to feel a bit lost. 'I don't know how.' Regan rubbed her friend's arm. 'You'll find a way .. don't wait too long.' Stevie nodded, staring away. There was so much she needed to tell him, so much she needed to know. But something was withholding her to visit him. 'Maybe I should give him some time to settle down again.'

Alex had slept in. Killarney was still a quiet place. Stevie had told him quickly Sandra had taken charge, but she seemed to spend her time between Kinsella's and Killarney, having Riley and Marcus as overseers. After a shower and a good breakfast, or more a lunch Alex walked along the homestead.

'Hey, if it isn't Mr. Ryan himself!' Marcus said surprised, walking to his friend. 'Mate, where have you been?' Alex smirked. Somehow it had felt like he hadn't left this place. 'Hey big guy, I thought I should check on you to see if you're still doing a good job.' The blonde bloke smirked, noticing Alex was his old self. 'We have done great without you, but I'm glad you're back.' The two shared some information about business and Alex' stay in Sydney, when Marcus finally looked serious at his mate.

'Alex, I hope you realize what you have done just leaving like that.' Alex wanted to say something, but Marcus cut him off. 'I know you were probably scared, but running away is never a solution.' Alex glared a bit away, before looking Marcus in the eyes again. 'I know ... if I only could turn back time.' Marcus nodded softly. 'Have you seen Stevie yet?' 'I have, last evening. I went straight to Drovers. Man, I thought she was gone ... till I called Tess.' Marcus was glad he had visited her, but still felt the need to make some thing clear. Of course he had seen Stevie struggle, and he had heard Regan's stories.

'Be gentle with her mate. She's been through a lot. You have a lot to make up for.' Alex breathed in deeply. He had realized what he had done. The look in her eyes had said enough. But he didn't have an idea how to deal with her. 'I hope I can.'

It was a day later and Regan and Kate could still see Stevie struggle. 'Go to him', Regan said, standing next to her near the stables. Stevie looked up at her friend. 'Go, I will talk to Grace'. Grace Kingston had been around Gungellan for a few months now. She was a young camp drafter, focused on all kind of farm activity, but she also didn't back off for some work as a farm hand. She would have a talk with Stevie to see if a longer stay would be an option, after she mostly had worked at Killarney/Kinsella's the first few months.

Stevie had finally found the courage to go to Killarney. After all she knew she had to do this. She found Alex in a conversation with Sandra, obviously they weren't that glad with each other's presence at Killarney. She wasn't sure if she could interrupt, but Sandra spotted her. 'I see your friend has found her way to Killarney again.' Alex turned and saw her standing there. Stevie seemed shy and insecure. 'I will talk to you later', Alex said resolute. 'Alex, we were just discussing the Shearer's' fund!' 'That can wait', Alex mumbled under his breath, while walking away from her.

'She's not playing it nice, is she?' Stevie said softly, gazing along Alex to see Sandra walk to her Ute. 'Nah, but she can have it her way. I guess I have my share in this.' Alex looked at her, wondering what to say or to do. Why was she here? She took a deep breath. 'Alex ... we need to talk.' She said it quick. 'Okay', a bit swept away with her directness. 'Can we sit down somewhere?'

'Do you want something to drink?', Alex asked while she sat down on the couch, feeling uncomfortable. 'No, thanks', She said with a forced smile. 'Oh'. Alex was a bit unsure, as he had hoped he could take a moment to think, while getting her a drink. He glared at her, obviously not sure how the handle this. 'Just sit down, will yah?'

He sat down. 'I'm sorry for last time. I understand that you don't want me to touch you ... I mean, you have all right to be mad at me. It wasn't meant to ... I wasn't thinking we could just ... it wasn't to ...' She grabbed his arm, which made him look at her. A second later he stopped with babbling. 'Good ..', she said. 'I know there's a lot to talk about Alex, but ...' She looked away, sitting up a bit, taking her time to think what to say. In the mean time Alex just stared at her, noticing once more how beautiful she was. 'I need to tell you something first. There isn't an easy way to say this ...' She paused again and Alex' mind was run over with all kind of possible things she could tell him. He was scared to hear it.

_Time enough for hard questions  
Time enough for all our fears  
Time is tougher than we both know yet  
Time enough for tears_

She tried hard to fight back the tears. She wanted to be strong, just telling him would be enough. Stevie wanted to continue, but hesitated. 'What is it?', he said softly, trying to sound calm and supportive, but inside his heart was beating quickly. 'I'm pregnant Alex.' She gazed away, not knowing what his reaction would be. 'You are what?' Alex asked softly wanting to be sure he heard it correctly. She glared at him for a moment, biting her lip. Her teary eyes grew. 'I'm carrying your child, our child.' Alex was stunned. 'You're pregnant', he mumbled, looking at her with big eyes.

_I heard you say underneath your breaths some kind of prayers _

_I heard you say underneath your breath that you never wanted to feel this way about anybody else_

'I'm sorry'. She didn't really know why she said it. Stevie just figured the timing was all wrong. She wasn't really used to the fact herself either. Stevie had found out a couple of weeks ago, when she still felt sick and tired. First they thought it had been caused by the accident followed with stress, but when she turned out to be pregnant she wasn't sure how to feel. Mostly she was scared she had to be a single parent and wouldn't be capable to do that, just like with Rose.

_Time enough for being braver  
Time enough for all the fears_

He looked at her. 'Sorry? No ...' He was obviously searching for words. 'You're ... I'm gonna be a dad?' She nodded heavy, feeling the tears cross the boundaries of her eyelids. 'That is, wow ... I'm gonna be a dad!' Alex was overwhelmed with the news and it softly got through to him. Than a wide smile appeared on his face, looking back at her. 'We gonna have a baby, Steves!' The more he thought about it, the more happy it made him. Of course it felt weird. Just a couple of days ago he had lived in Sydney thinking he had lost her, and now she was telling him they would have a baby. But he always wanted to be a dad.

His expression changed when he all of a sudden thought back to the moment Fiona had told him she was pregnant. Not that he wanted to offend Stevie. 'You're sure? I mean how, when?' She understood why he had to ask it again, and the way he questioned her made her smirk for a moment. 'Yeah I'm sure. You can drag me to a doctor whenever you want. And you should remember when or did you already forgot?' It was funny; she had this pleasant feeling, while she had thought she would break down in tears. Probably the hormones she figured.

'No no', Alex said quickly, 'of course I do, but I dunno. I thought I should ask. I'm not making sense here, am I?' Stevie smiled. 'A bit', she said softly, looking at him understanding and loving. 'Wow', Alex repeated. 'I know, it was pretty much of a shock for me too', she said caressing his hand. Alex glared at her again. 'This is ... good, isn't it? I mean, everything is good? Are you feeling okay?' He got all concerned now. 'Yeah, I'm fine. I've passed the first months pretty well. Okay, I thought the accident and all caused it, but the doctor said everything is okay. The baby had a rough start, but its a tough one.'

_The moon is milk and the sky where it's split  
It's magic, and we all need to believe, that we can  
Wake up in the dream, it's not as hard as it seems  
You know it's harder to leave  
_

Alex smirked. 'I betcha, it's ours.' She smiled back at him. They looked into each other's eyes deeply, feeling seriousness and responsibility washing over them. They now not only had to look after themselves but also after a little one, their baby. 'We can do this, can we?' She asked softly. Alex nodded. He wanted to hug her, do something, but he doubted. 'We are in this together ... if you want?' 'Of course, I mean you are the father.' She didn't want to mention anything else. The fact they were becoming parents didn't mean automatically everything between them was all right again.

_Time enough for hard questions  
Time enough for all our fears_

_Time is tough; it's running away from us  
Time enough for tears_

_I know_

_It's okay_

The Corrs / Andrea Corr feat. Bono - Time enough for tears


	41. Chapter 40: Facing a miracle

**Chapter 40 Facing a miracle**

Regan and Stevie were riding in the field. They stopped for a moment just to enjoy the view. 'I'm glad you have learned to ride a horse properly Regan', Stevie said while she brushed along Banjo's head. Regan smiled pleased. 'Yeah, and I'm getting really good at it!'. 'Oh no, there we go, you can ride a horse, but you still ain't born for it.' 'Maybe there will be a day I'm better than you', Regan said smirking at her friend. 'Yeah right, the day I'm nine months pregnant?'

'So when you gonna tell everyone? I mean, you can't wait much longer. There are rumors spreading around', Regan said when they rode back to the stable in a slow trot. Stevie knew the moment was coming. She started to show, but wasn't that keen to share it with the world. 'After the echo. If everything is okay I guess I have to tell. I am planning on visiting Rose on the way back. I don't want her to hear it on the phone.' Regan nodded, knowing it all made sense. But there was one person Stevie wasn't that fond of talking about; Alex. She still needed to adjust to the fact she was pregnant, that Alex was the father, that she had him back and was in this with him.

But Stevie wasn't thinking of playing a happy family. This week they had seen each other shortly, mostly with other people around. It had felt so strange that she wasn't even sure if they could ever go back to the strong friendship they once shared. Not even thinking about a romantic relationship. They didn't even have one in the past. You couldn't call one night a relationship and when it got close to it the morning after Alex had walked out on her.

The fact they would have a baby made it even more complicated. She didn't want to force things; she just wanted to trust him again. Having the feeling he would always be there for her and their child.

'Do you want me to join you for the scan?', Regan asked. Stevie shook her head. 'Alex is coming with me.' She let out a sigh that showed she wasn't that keen on mentioning him, and not sure if it was a good idea. But after all he was the father. 'Ah ... you're fine with it?' 'I guess I am. I want him to be a part of this, but it would have been so much easier if he hadn't left me. I don't even know what's left between us, but we do have to think about this little one'. She rubbed her belly for a moment, getting closer to the stables.

Regan understood the difficult situation Stevie was in and tried to give her friend the space she needed. In the meantime she tried to be prepared for all kinds of possible scenarios, not only the pregnancy but also Stevie and Alex' relationship. She would give them some time, but she had noticed the two still hadn't really talked things through. If that stayed she would have a talk with Marcus. The two had grown closer the last few months and he had tried to help her run Drovers after Stevie's accident, but she still wasn't sure if letting him in would be a good idea. Regan didn't want to go through the same thing as with Dave.

A couple of days later Alex picked Stevie up to drive to Fisher for the echo scan. She was nervous, not just for the scan but also for being alone with Alex during the drive to it.

Alex glared aside him, seeing Stevie staring out of the window. So far there had only been easy chat between them, which stopped a few minutes ago. 'Are you worried there's something wrong?' He asked softly, trying to get an idea of what was going on in her head. 'No, not really. The scan I had a month ago went well, but of course I just wanna know if everything is all right with the baby. The doctor said he could say more now the baby is pretty much fully grown.' 'It is?' Alex asked quickly.

Alex surely had felt he had missed out the first months of the pregnancy, on the other hand Stevie kinda had too. But she hardly told him the way she had felt and the information she had about the baby and the pregnancy so far. That's why he even was more excited she let him join her for the echo appointment. Seeing his child would be something special, and it would really confront him he would become a dad. So far he had tried to really contain it, but there had happened so much these last weeks that he needed to see the baby, to fully realize it.

She looked at him and gave him a smile. 'Yeah. The fingers, toes, eyes, ears; it should be all there.' 'Wow', Alex felt impressed looking back on the road again. Hearing this and imagine it he got this proud and happy feeling over him. He looked back at her again. She noticed it and smiled softly. Alex saw her hand lying on her knee and lay his own hand on hers. Stevie was surprised by it, but it also felt good. He would support her.

At the hospital Dr. Tim Cahill was preparing Stevie and Alex for the scan. 'You are almost sixteen weeks along. Let's see how much the baby has grown during the last month.' Stevie could feel the scanner move over her stomach, staring at it, going back to the view on the screen. 'It takes some time to see it properly', Cahill explained. Alex was sitting at the other side of the bed, holding her hand cause he just felt the need to, glaring fascinated to Stevie's belly. You could tell she was starting to gain some weight and it all started to really get through to him. Here he sat with the woman he loved, looking at a screen, which in a few moments would show their baby.

'There we've got him or her.' Stevie and Alex gazed at the screen, which slowly made a clearer view of their child. The doctor started to explain the exact position of the baby. 'I see it has grown. Still a bit small for the current time along in the pregnancy, but that's no wonder after such a start. But no worry, I'm sure she/he will catch up within the next month'. Stevie smiled, she could hardly believe there was this little creature living inside of her. Of course she had gone through this with Rose, but that felt like a lifetime ago. She looked a bit behind her to see Alex' intrigued facial expression. He couldn't stop gazing at the screen.

She softly pinched in his hand, which made him look at her. They shared smiles, when Dr. Cahill continued his talk. 'So you the little arms and feet.' 'Can you already see if it's a boy or a girl?' Alex asked excited. 'It's still a bit early for that and of course I will only tell you if you want to know.' He looked at the couple, which shared some glances. 'No we don't', they said at the same time. The doctor had the laugh. 'Good to see such congenial parents. I can tell I get a lot of couples which one wants to know and the other doesn't.'

Stevie glared at Alex. They didn't even need to say words to know they both wanted it to be a surprise. And it made Stevie realize the bond they had in the past was still there. It only needed to be restored.

They walked out of the hospital, carrying huge smiles. Everything was perfect; the part of sharing it with the world had come.

_You let an open window  
Breathe over your bed  
A whisper in the moonlight  
The miracle of life  
Synchronized emotion  
No battle left to fight  
Harmony in motion  
The miracle of life _

And oh precious and lovely you are  
Cherished as only you are  
Not born but already  
Changing our world  
Beautiful girl(You're a beautiful, wonderful miracle)  
Beautiful boy(You're a beautiful, wonderful miracle)

I want for you the ocean  
Filled deep with all your dreams  
No feeling left unopened  
The miracle of life

And oh how precious and lovely you are  
Cherished as only your are  
Not born but already changing our world  
Beautiful boy(You're a beautiful, wonderful miracle)  
Beautiful girl(You're a beautiful, wonderful miracle)

And when it comes to loving we'll give you all we've got  
Beginning at the bottom we're never gonna stop  
Little one

The Corrs - Miracle


	42. Chapter 41: Telling Rose

**Chapter 41 Telling Rose**

'Does Rose know I've been away?', Alex asked while they were on their way to Stevie's daughter. 'She knows. She has been in the hospital after the accident. It didn't take her long to know what had happened.' Stevie could remember the moment Rose had found out Alex had just left while her mother was hurt this much. She could see the disappointment in the girl's eyes. Rose had always been so keen on Alex and this was, just like Stevie, not something she had expected.

'How are we going to tell her?' Alex didn't want to get all kinds of surprises thrown at him, so he continued asking Stevie the needed questions. Not that she had all the answers. 'I don't know, just telling her will probably be the best.'

When they got to Michelle's place, Stevie's sister and daughter were already waiting, but both showed surprised faces when they saw Alex coming out of the car. Rose gave her mum a hug, while Michelle gave Alex a stare. She wondered why the two had come to visit them, and mostly why Alex was with her.

They sat down on the couch, Rose sitting on the chair in front of them. They all felt the uncomfortable tension in the air. 'So ..', Rose said, '... I guess you not just came for a quick visit.' 'No ...' Stevie glared at her daughter, wondering how she would put it in words. At that moment she felt Alex' arm sliding behind her back. It gave her a shiver and she moved a bit up, not sure if she wanted this at the moment. Alex could feel and see her reaction and pulled back his arm.

'It's not just a visit ... Alex and I have to tell you something.' Her gaze moved to Michelle, who was standing near the door. 'You know how I kinda kept feeling tired and sick after the accident?' 'Is there something wrong?' Rose asked quickly, obviously worried about her mother's health condition. Stevie smiled a bit uneasy. 'Everything is fine honey, more than fine.' Saying that she gave Alex a quick look.

'We are expecting a baby', she blurted out. Well there was no way to put it differently. 'You what?', Rose asked, startled, not sure if she heard it right. 'I'm pregnant', Stevie said calm, hoping her daughter would take over her calm way of acting. 'You're pregnant?', she exchanged gazes with both Alex and Stevie. 'That is ... that's great!', she said changing her surprised expression into a pleased one.

'You think it's great?', Stevie said, impressed with her daughter's reaction. 'Of course. I'm gonna have a baby sister!' She came up to Stevie and hugged her. 'Or brother.' Stevie added while she felt her daughter's arms hugging her tightly. 'Yeah okay, that's a possibility too,' Rose said when she let go. She than looked at Alex and wasn't sure what to do with him. 'Congratulations too', she said softly, not moving closer. The memory of Stevie's upset face when Alex wasn't around was still clearly in the back of her mind.

Alex could see what she was thinking. And he knew that if he hadn't left Stevie Rose would have jumped into his arms to congratulate him, but he knew he deserved this cold treatment. Stevie looked up at Michelle who hardly could show a smile. 'Congratulations', she mumbled. Stevie could see her sister was judging her again, not just her, also Alex. 'So you gonna have a child', she said coldly. Stevie nodded. 'And this time you gonna stay around?' She asked, gazing at Alex. 'Michelle ...', Stevie said immediately, although she knew her sister was right, she just felt the need to defend him. 'It's okay', Alex tried to stay calm. 'I guess I deserve it. I know I've made a mistake, but I will do anything to make up for that.' Rose stared at the adults and could see this wasn't over yet.

Michelle nodded with a straight face, than she looked at Stevie. 'I guess this one wasn't planned either?' Stevie could feel the cold look of her sister go right through her. It was obvious what she was thinking; the fact she got pregnant at fifteen and she hadn't learned a thing from it. No, seventeen years later she had made the same mistake, having a man as the father of the child who would run away when things got tough and as far as she knew wasn't even officially her boyfriend. Nice one!

'No, we didn't plan this, but it's not like with Rose. It's totally different', Stevie stated, but she wasn't glad to have to say these things in front of her daughter. Michelle let out a sarcastic laugh. 'You're sure? You think he will take care of you?' She looked fiery at Alex. 'What on earth were you thinking making her pregnant! You think if you can't have kids with your wife, you break of the marriage and try it with the neighbor, who obviously can?!' She aimed her head at Rose.

For her Alex had lost most of her respect when she heard he had left his wife cause she wasn't able to have children. Of course she totally neglected any further information and she didn't understand why Rose and Stevie had been so keen on him. Hearing in the hospital Alex just left Stevie had been the final drip to dislike him. The fact she couldn't get children herself either was making her even angrier.

But what she didn't expect was the girl to speak up. 'You can't talk like that. That's not what happened!', Rose yelled while standing up and running out of the room. The girl thought back to her stay at Drovers and Killarney and was sure there was no way this was a cheap accident. Stevie's hand was covering her mouth, her eyes were teary. Overwhelmed with what just had happened, wanting to go after her daughter but something withhold her. 'Are you happy now!', Alex said angry. 'If you want to judge us just say so, but don't do it in front of Rose!'. Michelle knew it hadn't been the smartest thing she could have done, but she was surely not willing to listen to him.

'You think you have the right to speak? You left my sister behind for dead!' 'Like you have ...' Alex was getting into an argument with her, standing in front her now. Stevie heard the two arguing and started to cry heavy. 'Stop it!', she shouted. She was letting out loud sobs, starting to cover her face with her hands.

The two glared at her. Alex rushed to her and sat down next to her, putting an arm around her but she moved back. He glared at her, seeing her pushing him away once more. 'Stevie ...' Michelle looked at the two and didn't really know what to say. 'I'll check on Rose', she said quickly before leaving the room.

'Stevie …', Alex repeated trying to move closer again, but she backed off. 'Just go away Alex!' 'I'm not going anywhere. You won't get rid of me that easily.' Stevie took her hands of her face and looked a bit beside her. 'You still can run away.' He felt like a knife was making its way through his heart. 'I'm not going anywhere this time. I want you and the baby more than anything else.' She could hear him saying it, but wasn't prepared to face him. 'You just only saying that.'

'No I'm not', he saw she was letting her defense down and he moved closer. 'I won't go anywhere.' She now looked up at him. Her big brown eyes were glaring at him, the weakness they showed was torturing him. His hand was brushing away her hair and a bit of the tears left on her cheek. 'I mean it.' She gave in and let him take her into his arms. 'It's okay', he mumbled.


	43. Chapter 42: Nah!

**Chapter 42 Nah!**

_She pulled him closer, feeling him near. The taste of his lips was lingering in her mouth. She could feel him break off the kiss and start to explore her neckline, while she ran her fingers along his naked back ..._

Stevie woke up from the noise of the alarm clock. She gave it a hard slap before sitting right up in her bed, annoyed with herself. It had been the second time this week she had dreamed about him and not just dreaming about him, but mostly in a very passionate and intimate kind of way. How on earth could she dream this while she was pregnant and hardly had spoken to him for more than a week?

She rubbed her face thinking of the fact she needed to talk to him, but was scared for whatever it would bring along. Last week's visit of Rose was still fresh in her mind and she wasn't sure what to do with it. She had been too upset to really talk to Rose or Michelle right after. Rose wasn't really the problem. Stevie had called her a few days later and her daughter was as supportive as could be. But she knew there was a lot of friction between her and Michelle.

And beside that there was Alex who she simply had shut out on their way home. They hardly had spoken a word and neither one of them knew how to act after it. It was obvious they needed to clear the air. It was getting too hurting now everyone knew about her being pregnant and Alex being the father, while the two had hardly seen each other afterwards. Stevie hadn't the opportunity to just enjoy the happiness of the moment of telling everyone and showing the photos of the scan. And now she was having those silly dreams.

Grumpy she made her way downstairs to find Regan and Moira in the kitchen. 'There we have our sunshine', Moira said smirking seeing Stevie covered in a wide shirt, rubbing her eyes with one of its sleeves, trying to get the strings of hair behind her ears right after. 'Morning!', Regan had said, sharing a glance with Moira when Stevie didn't reply.

'You're feeling okay?' Moira asked, while preparing some breakfast for the girl. 'Physically yeah, mentally nah!' She sat down at the table, while Moira gave her a glass of special milk. 'Here, take this, it's good for you and the baby.' Stevie moved her fingers around it a second later, but didn't really feel like an attempt to bring it to her lips. Regan was observing her.

'Anything you want to talk about?' Regan asked, while she finished eating an apple. Stevie still stared at the glass of milk, starting to turn it a bit around with one hand, while leaning her head on her other arm. She was obviously thinking. 'Nah!' 'You're sure?' Stevie pulled her lips together once more. 'Nah!' Regan shared a look with Moira again. 'What's with the 'nah' lately? You make me wanna sing a Shania Twain song.' Stevie looked up at her friend who gave her a smile. It made her smile back, thinking of her own strange mind. She didn't have a clue were it was heading for these days.

'Nanananaahhhh', Regan started to sing. Stevie glared at her, annoyed and amused at the same time. 'Maybe you should sing that song'. Moira smiled at Regan having her own ways to make someone feel better. 'Like she wrote it with me in the back of her mind', Stevie mumbled, still playing with the glass.

'That's it! That's all! We had fun! We had a ball! It was good while it lasted, but now I'm past it. It was sure! It was sweet! Sure you swept me off my feet. I miss you now and then, but would I do it again?', Regan stood up singing the song walking up to Stevie, when she stood next to her Stevie tried to ignore her. The McLeod gave her a push. 'NAH!'

Stevie couldn't suppress the laugh. 'Regs, you're terrible! And not to mention your singing!' 'I know', Regan smirked. 'But at least I brought a smile up your grumpy face! Don't forget I also have the talent to be a good listener. So what is bugging you?' Though she could guess.

Stevie hung on the table, her arms crossed upon it. Her chin was leaning on them and she half looked at Regan. 'I've got those stupid dreams', she mumbled and it took Regan some effort to translate it to an understandable language. 'Stupid dreams? Like what? A cow rubbing a saddle?' Stevie laughed; Regan and her crazy ideas. 'No, not that stupid.' 'Ow, so what is it than?' The red head sighed, not willing to tell.

'Does it contain a certain handsome tall dark but stupid man?' Stevie let out another sigh, which said enough. Regan sat down next to her, getting more serious. 'Maybe you should talk to him?' Stevie sat a bit up. 'I'm a weird pregnant woman', she grumbled. Regan shook her head slightly, trying to not be too amused with the way Stevie was behaving. 'It's not like I feel the need to talk in these dreams ... at all.' Saying that Stevie buried her face between her arms and the table, feeling a bit ashamed.

'I see ...' 'I'm pregnant for goodness sake', she heard Stevie mumble, laying her head aside. 'And? That doesn't mean you don't have certain needs, especially not after your first months. Beside that; affection is an important part of your pregnancy.' Stevie glared at her friend. 'I thought you were a geologist in stead of a gynaecologist?'

'Wait'. Regan stood up and walked out of the room to come back with a few books. She lay them on the table, in front of Stevie. 'Here ya go! I kinda thought with you having all those things on your mind and not really able to fully enjoy your pregnancy and focus on it. I thought I should invest some time to help you with that.' Stevie gave Regan a loving smile. She was really a great friend. 'Books it is!' She said while picking one up.

Shania Twain – Nah!


	44. Chapter 43: Hold on

**Chapter 43 Hold on**

At Killarney things had settled down. Alex had mostly put his energy into the farm to get his mind of Stevie. The words of Michelle had got to him and the way it had made Stevie behave had touched him deep. He didn't really know where to start. So he thought it would be best to give her some time, but it kinda started to annoy him now.

Marcus and Alex had their talk standing near Alex' Ute when Riley showed up. 'Hey big guy, I heard you're gonna be a dad?' Alex smirked, curling up his nose. He couldn't get enough of hearing that. Riley and him had changed their relationship after his return and he had noticed how handy the man was. Though he still thought the bloke had a slight attitude problem. 'Well, congrats. Never thought I would say that. But I guess we all have moved on.' Riley indeed had. He now had his eyes on Grace.

'Well, you work for me now so do you have a choice?' Riley shook his head amused. It always felt like there were two bulls in the paddock with Alex and him together. 'Yeah, but ... I must say, if you ever dare to run away again ..' But before the young bloke could finish Alex already filled him in. 'You can punch the teeth to the back of my head. I even oblige you.' 'Be sure of that', Riley said smirking. 'But I do hope', Riley continued, 'the kid will take after his mum, cause with your ugly mug ...' 'Enough Ward, there's work to do!'

Riley and Marcus made their way to the Western paddock while Alex glared in front of him for a moment. Work could wait for him, he had to finish something first. Talking to Stevie, and not just easy talk. Things couldn't go on like this.

'Hey Alex!', Kate said pleased when Alex showed up at Drovers. 'G'day Kate, do you know where I can find our cowgirl?' Kate smiled; she thought it was great that Stevie and Alex were expecting a child. Though she knew about their problems she was convinced they would work things out. 'Not far. There she is', she pointed behind Alex. He turned around and saw Stevie walking up to them, taking of her working gloves. 'Hey', she said not fully looking him in the eyes. She swept her forehead, which was covered with some sweat. It was a pretty hot day. 'Oy', Alex said softly, obviously a bit nervous what would come. Kate noticed she would be the fifth wheel on the wagon so she excused herself to continue her work.

'Well', Alex gathered all his courage, 'Steves, I don't know how you feel, but I think we need to talk.' Stevie nodded. 'That's probably a good idea.' 'Can we go for a ride?' He said quickly before she would invite him for a drink on the veranda. Stevie was pretty surprised by it, but agreed.

When she had dressed into something more comfortable, and mostly something more fitting the weather she returned to take a seat in his Ute. 'Where are we going?' 'Some nice place, you'll see', Alex said. While they drove to their destination Alex asked how she was feeling, how things at Drovers were going and it both made them relax a bit. 'We're there', Alex said while parking his Ute near the lake.

They got out of the car and Alex set the back of his Ute as a sort of bench, covered with some blankets to sit on. He handed her a bottle of water. 'You definitely choose a good spot', she said while she took a first sip of the water, enjoying the beautiful view. Alex was pleased he at least had one thing done well. 'But I haven't drove us all the way to just enjoy the view. I thought it would be best to talk on neutral ground.' She looked shortly aside her, seeing him watching the water, but being aware of the fact he was heading for a serious conversation.

_It might never be the same  
We might never live those days gone by  
But we can try_

He was holding a bottle of water in his hand, more to distract him, than to really have the intention to drink. 'I know this isn't easy for you', he started. 'But we have to start somewhere. We can't pretend nothing happened, or neglect our problems.' Alex now looked at her and saw her staring at him attentive. 'Cause we have more than ourselves to look after.' He paused for a moment. Alex hadn't really practiced the things he wanted to say, he just hoped that whatever would leave his mouth would fell in good ground.

'I wish I hadn't been such a coward to leave. I know it doesn't help a thing saying this, cause I did. I guess I couldn't think clear. Too shocked to see you lying on the ground. It was too confronting. I just couldn't, something blocked. And I just couldn't see you breath, I thought I lost you.' He hadn't looked at her, just staring a bit at the bottle in his hand or the water in front of him was easier than looking at her. This was hard, hard to tell her how he had felt.

'I couldn't, I couldn't go through it again.' He wasn't really willing to mention Claire's name. He knew she would understand him anyway. 'I felt complete lost. Didn't know where to go, what to do, how to feel.' He shook his head, starting to get that same feeling again. 'I guess I just didn't gave a damn any more. The first weeks I lived like a complete zombie, not willing to give in. Not willing to feel that constant pain.' Tears had found their way to his eyes and he had difficulty fighting them. He sighed. 'There were many moments I thought life was nothing worth. There was nothing left. But I guess I was also too much of a coward to end it.'

A tear roll of his face and Stevie had gazed at him the whole time, but couldn't look at him any longer. She glared away while tears were running down her cheeks. Of course there had been moments she thought how he would feel if he really was thinking she was gone, but she never really realized how he must have felt until now. 'I simply thought I didn't deserve a happy life ... till I find out you were still alive.'

He now faced her and looked her straight in her eyes. They both were crying and they could feel the emotion running through their bodies, both having a restless feeling. Stevie brushed away some tears. 'Sorry that I make you cry.' Stevie softly tried to smile at him, still brushing. She was glad he told her this, that he was this open to her. 'It's okay', she said softly.

Alex continued. 'And now everything is different. I've got you back and that's all that matters. Really!' He looked at her again and could see his words touched her deep. They came from the bottom of his heart. Alex started to smile. 'And than this little one ... I know we didn't plan it, but that doesn't change a single thing. This is better than I ever could imagine. I want this baby so much and I couldn't think of any other woman I want to be the mother of my child than you. I know things have been hard for you with Rose, but this time you're not alone. And I promise with all my heart I won't ever turn my back on you again. Cause without you and our baby there's no worth living.'

_It's a new day  
Let's look at all we've got  
It's everything we thought  
We ever wanted  
It's beautiful_

Stevie couldn't stop crying. She was moved, impressed with his words. He was saying the most perfect things and it only made her love him more. And she loved him; she loved him so much that sometimes it scared her. Stevie didn't know what she would have done if he hadn't come back. She gave him a soft smile, a loving one for sure, pressing her lips tightly together. 'Ow Alex ...', she whispered. 'Shh ..' he said gentle. 'I haven't finished yet.'

_Hold on  
Let's start this over  
We're not much older now  
If you still see what I see  
Keep holding on  
Hold on to me_

'I want this to work and I know we can. You were, and for me you still are, my best mate. I know we have some repairing to do, but I hope you will give me a chance. A fresh start, just us three to find our common ground again. What you say?' She had to laugh through her tears. Us three. She could feel the joy take over. 'I would love that.' She kept smiling at him and Alex knew he had said the right things.

_It's good to see you smile again  
I know we can't escape  
So let's pretend  
We're someplace else_

This could be a start of something good. 'Come here', he mumbled, finally feeling the courage to wrap his arm around her and pull her close.' She went along easily, feeling his strong arm around her. The same old save feeling she always had when he held her. Whatever would come she would fight for it, for their friendship, for their child.

_See the love we almost left behind  
Lead me by the hand and let's make up  
Let's make up for lost time _

They just sat there admiring the view in front of them, while Stevie softly started to talk. Just little easy things, knowing there was time and space to grow. She knew it would take a lot of words to work things out, but for know his embrace was good enough.

_Just hold on to me_

Dixie chicks – Hold on


	45. Chapter 44: Make me smile

**Chapter 44 Make me smile**

'It's good to have a whole six-pack for myself', Alex said pleased, opening one of the bottles. They sat on the bench on the veranda. Stevie glared at his bottle, wishing she could have one. 'I'm sick of this juice. It's even worse than Tess' weird fruity drinks.' Alex smiled, looking at her. 'It won't surprise me if she send some over from Argentina. Just to be sure you drink something healthy.' 'I bet she drunk nothing else when she was pregnant. Yuk!'

The girls were inside and a bit spying on the couple. 'This is already the third time within two weeks Alex is visiting', Regan concluded pleased. 'And I'm glad he does', Moira threw in her thoughts followed by Kate. 'I thinks it's good, and cute. They are so careful around each other.' 'No wonder', Regan mumbled.

'We should have a bet about the gender of the baby', Tayler said, already thinking of a way to earn money. Kate took another bite of her cookie, mumbling while eating: 'I bet it's gonna be a boy'. Regan glared at her. 'Why that?' 'I dunno, I think Alex is a kind of man that gets a son. You know, real men get sons', she said with a low voice, thinking of the way most of her Italian family thought. 'Oh come on, Alex is a big softy. I bet it will be a girl. If you look how he handles Charlotte. He's made to be father of a daughter.' 'Okay, let's make a bet', Kate said offering her hand.

There was a slight breeze covering the evening. Alex and Stevie just enjoyed their time together. They felt they were getting closer to their old friendship and started to feel more comfortable around the other with every minute that passed. 'So do you have any weird cravings?' Stevie laughed. 'I'll eat anything with chocolate ... and I mean really anything. The chocolate Gods won't approve on many things I eat.' Alex smirked, looking at her. He loved the way she looked. That beautiful smile covering her face made him feel weak inside.

Alex had never stopped falling in love with her and he was relieved things went better between them. If he was honest he wanted nothing more than being with her, holding her, kissing her, loving her. But he knew they still had a long road to go, though he could see in her eyes she hadn't lost that feeling for him either. But the slow way would be good, surely thinking of their baby. Once again it gave Alex a warm feeling inside. Their baby.

'And do you have picked up some other strange habits during your pregnancy?' Stevie had just tried to take a sip of her juice, when she smiled in herself. He noticed the sparkle in her eyes, which obviously avoided his stare. She tried to hold in her laugh, thinking of another dream she had this week. It had been the weirdest and she wasn't sure what exactly it was about, but she knew it had contained Alex and chocolate.

'Can I join in the fun?', Alex asked poking her softly. She looked aside, her glass still half before her mouth, like it could hold back her smile. 'It's nothing.' 'Really?' he said, totally not convinced, raising his eyebrows. 'Nope nothing', she looked in front of her, trying to keep a straight face. Alex shook his head. 'You're even stranger now your pregnant. You know that do you?' She nodded heavy and when she saw his 'totally not being aware of whatever was crossing her mind' look on his face she couldn't suppress her laugh any longer.

Alex rolled his eyes, glaring at her. Stevie's laughter was also hearable inside the house, which made the girls look odd at each other. 'Wow, haven't heard that one for months', Kate said.

'I even start to wonder if I wanna know why.' Stevie stared at him, still amused. 'Sorry Alex. It's just ... uhm ... you don't wanna know.' 'Righto', he said a bit annoyed. 'Anyway I will leave you here laughing in yourself, cause I have a hard day of work waiting for me.'

She saw him leaving, and she even wondered for a moment if he felt a bit shut out with her outburst. But she still couldn't suppress that smile on her face. She rubbed her belly softly. 'Guess your dad is a bit annoyed with me', she mumbled. She slowly had started to enjoy her pregnancy and the prospect of having another child. She was kinda surprised how easy she was feeling around Alex this quick. She could feel she was starting to forgive him for his actions, though she knew it would be forgiven, not forgotten.

She stood up and made her way inside. The girls stared at her immediately. 'What?' 'You sounded like you had a fun evening', Moira said with a smile. 'Yeah I had', Stevie nodded to herself. 'It's time to go to bed. I'm pretty tired now.'


	46. Chapter 45: Feeling

**Chapter 45 Feeling**

Regan was glaring into Stevie's mirror, preparing for a real date with Marcus. She was obviously nervous. Stevie had settled herself with some chocolate cookies on the bed and had fun seeing her friend acting so insecure about the way she looked. 'You look lovely. Marcus will be blown away!' Regan looked at her for a moment. 'You're sure? Maybe I should wear something else ... I feel stupid for behaving like this.'

'Don't, you obviously like him and it's your first real date.' Regan sighed deeply, pulling at her clothes. 'Are you in love with him?' Stevie asked curious. Her friend kept staring in the mirror, smiling to herself. 'I take that as a yes!' Stevie rubbed her tummy, which leaded to a gaze of Regan. 'You're feeling okay?' Stevie smiled at her. 'The doctor said it wouldn't take long before I could feel the baby move. Not that it's kicking. It's still too early for that. It's like butterflies.' Regan smirked at her. 'You're sure it's the baby who cause them?'

Over the last few weeks Stevie and Alex had become closer and tonight he would come over. Stevie threw a pillow, landing nothing near Regan. 'You're such a talent ... but serious, you and Alex. What's going on between you?' Stevie tried to suppress the smile with biting her lip. 'We're just friends, and it's good like this.' Regan nodded amused. 'Just friends hey. That's probably why you wearing your best shirt tonight.' 'I don't have anything else that fits. I need to get some new clothes'. Stevie sat up; annoyed with the fact she had grown bigger.

When the two friends got to the kitchen Kate and Grace glared at Regan's looks. 'Femme fatale!', Kate shouted. It was not much later Alex walked in. 'Ay, I see someone's gonna be a lucky man tonight!', he smirked looking at Regan. 'It will take him some time. Marcus wasn't sure what to wear'. Alex smiled once more, while nodding to Stevie knowing he would be a lucky man anyway.

'You have your hair short!', she noticed surprised. Alex rubbed his head. 'Yep.' It was shorter than it ever had been Stevie thought. 'You like it?' She nodded pleased. 'Smooth', Regan said while winking at Stevie, standing next to her whispering in her ear; 'It looks like your comment of last week had its effect.' Stevie had to grin, remembering the moment she had asked if he was trying to grow a ponytail.

Later that evening Alex and Stevie sat down in the living room on the couch, having some pregnancy books in front of them. 'Very interesting', Alex exclaimed, turning another page of the book. 'You hardly look at a page.' 'I already know this. I've paid attention when Claire was pregnant.' Stevie smiled, she was glad he just mentioned her, but it raised a question. 'You weren't together when she was pregnant, were you?' 'No', Alex said, a bit regretting the fact they only had been a few weeks together when she died.

'I guess I know most of this and by the way, I've brought Rose into the world. I guess this one won't be too hard either.' Alex smirked, seeing her hand softly caressing her stomach. 'So why do we read this when we already have practiced in some kind of way?' They both realized this time it was different. This time it was his own child. This time she had someone to share it with. Their thoughts made them smile to each other.

'We can just eat cookies instead!' 'You already eat them all!' She pushed him softly, so he pushed her back. 'I think I'll stick to the book', Alex said, looking a bit aside, smirking while trying to ignore her. Stevie just sat silently, still holding her hand on her belly. Her hand moved a bit over it when she felt more movement of the baby. Alex noticed it and looked at her.

She looked so peaceful, in her own little world with her baby. When she finally noticed him staring at her she gave him a smile. 'The baby gets a bit more active.' 'Can I feel it?', he asked, hoping she would let him. So far they had kept the distance in the physical way. Stevie nodded approving. He sat a bit closer, softly laying his hand on her belly. Carefully supported with her hand on his. 'You probably won't feel anything. I mostly feel it inside.'

Alex glared, totally captured in the moment. He thought pregnancy was a wonder, not that he felt anything, but it was still a wonder just to feel her stomach, knowing that it covered their child. 'Wait ...' He pulled his hand back seeing her move her shirt up over her stomach. Stevie now took his hand again and lay it on her nude belly, moving it to the place she felt it most.

'And?' She knew it was hard to feel anything, but she hoped he would. 'I'm not sure if it's the baby or your breathing.' He now looked up at her and they shared some loving glances. 'I'm sure it won't take long before she or he will start kicking me.' She looked down again. 'So your daddy can feel you too.' There was something in the way she said it that made him even feel more happy. Not just the word daddy, just the whole setting made him feel it in his own stomach.

When it became later he could see her getting more tired and offered to go home. 'No, you don't have to leave yet.' Stevie really didn't want him to go and instead of sending him away she moved closer and leaned to him. She was longing for cosiness. He was surprised with her action, but went along with it smoothly. Alex pulled her closer, laying his arm around her. Stevie looked up for a moment and moved her hand to his hair. She caressed it. Alex smirked at her, wondering what on earth she was doing. 'It's nice', she said, looking at him. He just had to grin. 'I'm glad you like it.'

Somewhere in Gungellan Regan and Marcus had a great time. The evening ended in a kiss, which exceeded Regan's expectations. A bit tipsy she walked into the house to see Alex and Stevie sleeping on the couch. She thought the sight was too cute, but her staring had made her almost fall over the side table. The noise she made, pulling up her foot of pain, woke them. They pulled away quickly looking at a half jumping Regan. 'Auw, that hurts', she mumbled, followed with a giggle. 'Oh did I wake you?', Regan noticed totally innocent. Alex rubbed his head. 'Don't mind. I think I should have been home a few hours ago.'


	47. Chapter 46: Closer

**Chapter 46 Closer**

Weeks later …

Alex walked into the Drover's kitchen like he had done many times this last month. This time he found the girls playing cards, but Stevie wasn't around. 'Hey Alex!' Alex greeted the women and took of his hat. 'I'm sure we're not the ones you were planning to visit', Regan said smirking. 'Well no, but I did have a message for you.' 'And that is?', Regan asked, looking curious at him, but it didn't made her stop taking another snack. 'Marcus asked if I could tell yah if diner for tomorrow can be an hour later.' 'Oh fine by me!' Kate gave Regan a push. 'Come one, it's your turn.' 'I was trying to help a visitor, you know!'

Alex still stood there, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. 'She's in her room', Moira said quickly, noticing his behavior. He smirked at her. 'Is it okay if I check on her?' 'I don't think she will mind, but a knock will be good.' 'Of course, thanks'.

Alex made his way to the hallway, while Grace checked him out. 'Pity he's already taken.' 'Grace!', Regan shot her an amused look. 'What?' 'I thought you were getting close with Riley', Kate said curious, not sure if there was something going on between them. There was some chemistry, but Riley had that with women on a regular basis. 'Nah, Riley is a bit too short, small and young. Alex is the real deal.'

'Don't even think about it', Regan said quickly seeing that sparkle in Grace's eyes. She knew Grace had her way with men. 'I wouldn't dare, though if Stevie isn't interested I would sure give him a try'. 'She's interested', Kate concluded, 'you can tell in the way she looks at him.' Regan nodded, throwing another card on the table, without having an idea if it was a good one, 'So back of'. 'Yeah yeah', Grace mumbled seeing Regan had made a bad move. The two ladies hadn't turned into good friends. In some ways they were a bit alike and that sometimes collided.

Alex walked upstairs, not sure which room belonged to Stevie. So he just knocked on one of the doors. 'Stevie?' He thought he heard something so he pushed the door a bit. Stevie glared at him, turning a bit on her bed. 'Hey'. 'I didn't wake you, did I?' Alex asked, hoping that that wasn't the case. 'No not at all', she smiled, 'I just wanted to have some time alone.' 'Oh ...do you want me to leave than?' Alex asked a bit insecure, already regretting the fact he had stopped by. 'No, don't go. Feel free to join me.'

Stevie sat up a bit and she placed her hand next to her, asking him to take a seat. He kicked of his shoes and sat down, leaning against the head of the bed. They looked at each other with big smiles, though there was a nervous glance covering it. 'This is really the quickest time I've ended up in bed with a girl', Alex smirked. 'Cause you already did the trick.' Stevie laughed, her hands holding on to her belly. 'Yeah I see that!' She shot him a look. 'No you're not fat.' He said immediately. Stevie rolled with her eyes. 'You look beautiful.' She pushed him. 'What?' 'I don't look beautiful. My hair is a mess, my shirt the oldest I have and I gained too much weight already.'

'I like you anyway', he said, looking at her sweetly but serious. A big smile was covering her face know. She even started to blush a bit. Alex shook his head amused. 'Yeah cowgirl, you scrub up well when you're pregnant'. He curled up his nose. 'You're crazy Ryan.' She shook up a bit, startled, grapping to her stomach right away. Alex looked confused and worried at her. 'You're okay?'

When she started to smile, he got even more confused. 'She or he is kicking me very hard!' 'What?' Alex said excited, moving closer to lay his hand on her. 'Here. Wow, this is the first time it's this hard'. Alex felt it and laughed. 'That is indeed hard. This must be a little fella.' 'Why?' Stevie bounced a bit back, a slightly teasing annoyed look on her face.' Girls can kick really hard too you know!' Alex smirked at her, bending down.' You're a boy, aren't yah? A real Ryan.'

'A real Ryan? Well that will give me lots of fun.' Alex looked up, gazing at her for a moment. He wasn't really sure how she meant it. She caught his stare and smiled at him, reassuring. She brought her hand to his face. 'I hope she will be just as much fun as you are', she said softly, while she showed a sweet smile which melt his heart. 'Or just as much fun as his mother.' They both smirked, but couldn't stop gazing at each other, taking over by a more serious look.

He felt the need to kiss her, but he wasn't sure. Alex couldn't resist moving up and she could see him doubt, but he ended up giving her a kiss on her cheek. She couldn't really look at him, as he sat back next to her. This time it wasn't the baby moving in her stomach. She had to restore herself, before looking aside her, giving him another sweet smile. He watched her in such a cute way that she could have kissed him right away. But something was holding her back.

She looked down, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes. 'I think I will lay down', she said softly, making her way under the sheets. Stevie looked at him, in the hope he would follow. Alex hadn't been sure, but her asking gaze gave him the sign to pull the sheets over him. It was a weird situation. They were now facing each other. She had to hold her hand back from wanting to cares his face. 'Are you tired?' Alex asked, wanting to break the silence. 'A bit', she gave him a smile. 'You?' 'A bit too.'

She gazed into his blue eyes. 'The baby has become a bit more quiet.' Stevie wasn't sure what she wanted or where this moment would lead them to. She only knew she wanted him close. 'Really?' Alex smirked a bit, moving his hand to her belly. He figured if she would let him above the sheets, she wouldn't mind under the sheets. So he did and she kept staring at him, her shirt had moved up a bit and he now was caressing her skin. She could feel her breathing get a bit heavier, trying to keep her calm.

Alex kept his eyes focused on her, seeing how far she would let him go. She had a hard time to resist him. 'Alex ...' 'If you want me to stop', he whispered. She moved closer, laying her hand on his face. Their faces were just a few centimeters away from each other. He could feel her breathing. Her eyes were a bit restless looking at him, trying to fight her feelings. 'I ... you better ...' It was enough for him to take his hand way. 'Sorry', he mumbled, moving a bit back.

Her hand was still supporting his face. 'It's okay', she smiled softly. 'I just think it's better not to ... I mean, not that I don't like it, but ...' 'I understand.' Stevie once again smiled at him, hoping he didn't feel rejected. She just didn't want to rush into things and if she would let him she knew she couldn't resist and with both of them already in bed together; they sure wouldn't be able to stop.

'Can you just hold me?', she asked, seeing Alex agree just a second later. 'Come here', he reached out his arm, turning a bit to lay on his back while she snuggled up against him. Her right hand holding on to his waist. She lay her head against his chest, trying to move her back a bit so there was no pressure on her stomach. Alex brushed her hair away. 'You're comfy?' She gave him a big smile. 'This is nice.'

Some time later she had fallen a sleep. Alex wasn't really planning to stay the night, but he was too scared that if he would pull himself away, she would arouse. So he stayed, till she turned around a bit restless. He bended over her, giving her a soft kiss on her cheek, whispering; 'See you tomorrow beautiful.'


	48. Chapter 47: Bottled up emotion

**Chapter 47 Bottled up emotion**

Alex had planned a barbeque night at Killarney. Of course the Drovers girls were invited including the Killarney gang. He took a swung of his beer, looking at the view in front of him. 'This really has been a long time'. Riley stood next to him. 'Can't remember you ever giving a party before Ryan.' He looked up while Alex only turned his eyes slightly. 'Yeah, well when was your last one?' 'I get it ... but good idea.' 'We should check on the meat before Marcus let it get burned.'

The girls had taken their seats, mostly gossiping. Grace looked away when she saw Riley giving her a wink. 'Gosh, he's bad.' 'He is just trying to impress you', Kate said. 'Well, he better take care of my food today.' 'Anything to not have to walk, ey', Regan said amused. 'If anyone need that, it's me', Stevie said smiling. 'Like you can't walk', Grace answered. 'Hey a girl got to take advantage of the situation.' 'Which situation?', she heard Alex from behind. He sat down next to her. 'The situation you got me in', she smirked while he gave her a kiss on her cheek. 'If I can remember it well, you were the one that couldn't resist me.' 'Please no details', Kate mumbled, 'I'm gonna check on Patrick.'

It was getting later and the music had started to play. Everyone had made their way to the grassy improvised dance floor, hearing some country music spread over Killarney.

_I don't wanna rush this thing  
I don't wanna jump the gun  
I really wanna say those three little words  
But I'm gonna bite my tongue _

Yeah, I'm just gonna lay on back  
Leave it on cruise control  
I'm gonna hold it all inside  
Till the right time comes down the road

Alex and Stevie had been dancing, and although they were having fun, this particular song had drawn their attention. It was exactly pointing out the way they felt. Of course they had become closer and in the way they acted around each other made everyone think they were a couple. But officially they still were just friends expecting a child. They didn't really have the courage so far to take their relationship to another level. There had been moments over the last few weeks they had been close, but kisses always ended on cheeks, hair or forehead and both hadn't taken any conversation to the 'lovers' subject.

_I got a feeling  
My head's a reeling  
My heart is screaming  
I'm about to bust loose  
Bottled up emotion  
It's more than a notion  
It starts with an "I"  
And ends with a "U"  
I got a feeling  
Are you feeling it too? _

Alex wasn't sure if he could go further and took the save way, while Stevie was dying for a real kiss and every kiss that ended on her cheek was start getting her on her nerve. She loved the way he was so sweet with her, but she wanted more. On the other hand she was scared. Scared for where their relationship was heading to if they would become more. They never really been there and for her the last time seemed like Alex wasn't ready. Well, they never really had talked about that moment and that was bugging her too. She kept telling herself this was for the best, getting further along in her pregnancy, wanting the baby to have two parents being there for her/him. And if they would become more she was scared it in the end would break them up.

_I guess I've all but said it now  
So much for hoping you'd go first  
Don't leave me hanging out here on a line  
Baby, it's your turn  
Say you couldn't sleep last night  
Swore that you could feel me breathe  
Had you wanting me there by your side  
Yeah, baby I know what you mean_

The constant glances they shared ended when Stevie went inside to the toilet. Minutes later she was staring in the mirror, letting out a sigh. She doubted what to do. Maybe Alex just wanted to be friends; maybe he thought she wasn't attractive. Looking down at her belly she figured for herself she wasn't attractive. Giving her face another look in the mirror she concluded the exact same thing. Stevie started to feel annoyed with herself and with the situation. She wasn't sure if it were just the hormones taking over, but for a moment she felt like crying. A knock on the door made her put that aside.

'Every thing okay?' Alex asked, when he had noticed she was gone for a pretty long time. Stevie quickly rubbed her face a bit, putting her hair behind her ears when she answered him. 'I'm fine.' 'Good, I thought you flushed yourself through the toilet.' She opened the door and looked at him. The amused expression Alex had while making his last comment changed. Stevie looked down, hoping he wouldn't notice the mood she was in. 'Like I would fit.'

Alex lay his hand on her shoulder. 'You don't really look okay.' She looked up again, biting her lip. She got that sad, vulnerable look in her eyes as she gazed away. 'Hey', he said moving his finger under her chin to make her face him. 'It's not, is it?'

_We could just be friends  
Or we could jump in_

Her behavior said enough and he leaded her to the living room, sitting down. 'Now tell me what's wrong.' She smiled softly at him, her lips tightly together, feeling stupid. 'Where do you see us?' 'What?', Alex said softly, a bit overwhelmed with her question. 'I mean, the two of us.' 'Uhm', they sat next to each other, facing. 'Together with this little one', Alex said calmly. Stevie looked down, not sure what to say next. It weren't really the words she hoped for, too general. Alex moved closer, putting his arm around her.

'Where does this come from cowgirl?' His other hand made his way to her hair, brushing the lock away, which was covering the side of her face. She looked at him for just a sec, but she didn't know which words to choose. Alex moved his face closer; giving her a soft kiss on the side of her face, hoping it would relax her a bit. But instead of that she moved away. He looked questioned at her. 'Did I miss something?'

_Whole world could change in a minute  
Just one kiss could stop this spinning  
We could think it through  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to  
We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to_

She threw her head a bit back gazing in the air in front of her. 'Alex ...' When she noticed the words still chocked in her throat she gazed at him, figuring there was only one way. Stevie moved closer and Alex was wondering what she was up to. A second later he felt her lips touching his, making him respond. Her hand moved to the back of his neck and pulled him close. She didn't want this to be gentle. She didn't want him to be gentle. Of course she loved his sweet ways, but now she simply longed for his passion. It didn't take him long to fulfill her need. Their mouths opened and their tongues met. They pulled each other close, deepening the kiss. He was pretty much overwhelmed with her action. And although he had hoped for this, he wasn't sure what it meant. So he gently took the kiss to a bit more superficial level, breaking it of a second later.

_I got your ring around my neck  
And a couple of nights I don't regret  
You got a dream of a degree  
And a shirt that smells like me  
Yeah we both got dreams, we could chase alone  
Or we could make our own _

But I want you

Their faces where still close, feeling each other's need for breath. 'Wow, Steves, was that bugging you?' Stevie now had to laugh. 'Kinda'. A moment later she turned serious again, sliding her hand down his chest, watching it, playing with her lips, which recovered from the passionate kiss. Than she glared back into his beautiful eyes. 'I want us, Alex. I know it's a shot, but ... if you want.' Alex smiled at her, softly caressing her cheek with his left hand. 'Of course I want you.' He moved closer again, starting to kiss her. It was very tempting to go along with it, but she knew this moment needed words too. When she didn't respond in the way he hoped for he let go of her lips and stared at her.

'I want it to work this time', she was searching for words, but her hand was still playing with his chest. She simply couldn't resist. 'I want to talk about last time', saying this she looked him straight into his eyes. This probably wasn't the best time, with a party set up in the backyard, but she just wanted. Alex nodded.

Billy Currington – I've got a feelin'  
Sugarland – Want to_  
_


	49. Chapter 48: Life is good

**Chapter 48 Life is good**

Alex and Stevie had made their way upstairs and sat down on Alex' bed. They wanted to have some privacy and this was extra confronting cause it was where it had happened. She bitted her lip, knowing this was the moment to speak up. 'So tell me why', she said softly. He was holding her hands and when they looked at each other he started to talk. 'It was just the moment that scared me.' He paused, seeing her big brown eyes asking to continue. 'You know I haven't been lucky in love, well that's an understatement', he said pressing out a smirk. 'That evening, that night, waking up with you; it all had been so perfect. You saying you loved me.' Alex sighed; it was harder than he thought. He wished he could turn back time and it made tears welling up.

She gave him a comforting smile. 'It made me think of Claire, it made me think of Fiona. Knowing there had been such moments before, but they ended up in an illusion. I just needed some space and time. I wish I had said that I love you, but I simply couldn't. Not that I didn't, but with Fiona there were many times I said it while it didn't really was true, or she said she loved me and I felt like she forced me to say so too. It's not what I want. I want us to last. I don't want us to end up in an illusion.' He was fighting back his tears and although Stevie had a hard time too, she moved closer and pulled him in an embrace. Alex let go of his tears, holding the woman he loved so much.

When he moved back a little and looked at her he had to say it. 'But I'm not scared anymore.' She smiled at him. 'Really?' He nodded pleased. 'Be sure of that cowgirl.' Stevie giggled when she felt him push her softly down on the bed. He bended over her. 'Do you know how much I love you?' She now looked quietly at him. It was his tender way of saying, and the loving sparkle in his eyes which made her touch his face, sliding her thumb to his chin. She felt this complete weak feeling washing over her. Stevie guided his face to hers, starting to kiss. Just enjoying the moment, the soft touches between their lips, slowly but getting deeper with every move. His hand holding on to the back of her neck, while hers moved to his strong shoulder, the other brushing through his hair. This felt so right, that it could go on forever.

When they slowly parted they both had huge contented smiles on their faces. Stevie took a deep breath, staring at him dreamingly. 'Well that was worth the wait', she smirked. 'It sure was', as he sighed of appeasement: 'I don't really feel like going back to the party.' Alex licked his lips. 'I guess they will miss us.' 'Well, they probably think we are making out somewhere.' Stevie smirked at him. 'In that case they are right.'

When they sat up again Stevie started to smile to herself. Alex poked her softly. She now looked at him. 'It's funny I once had a dream, which was pretty much like this.' Alex shook his head amused. 'You and your dreams'. Last week she finally had admitted she had strange dreams of him. 'I like my dreams', she smirked pleased. 'But it wasn't a bed, it was on a few hay bales.' Alex laughed. 'Well we can try that one anytime you want.' He stood up, offering his hand to her.

They got back downstairs getting all kinds of stares from the rest of the gang, who kinda drew their own conclusion seeing the smirks on their friends faces. 'So what have you two been up to?' Regan asked grinning, holding a glass of red wine. Alex had joined to boys, while Stevie just kept looking at him, holding a huge smile. 'So ...?' Stevie looked now aside her, almost starting to laugh. 'He is so great'. Regan watched her amused. 'I see yeah, are you intending to get that smirk of you face the upcoming days?' 'No ...', as she looked back at Alex again, almost starting to dream. 'You are so in love.' Regan threw her arm around her friend and pulled her close. 'I'm so happy for you. You deserve it!' Stevie smiled sweetly at her. 'Now, shall we go to our men?' 'Good idea'.

The end of the party had come and Kate's Ute was full with Drovers girls, who strangely enough didn't stay with their boyfriends. 'Come on Steves!', Tayler yelled. Stevie and Alex were holding each other, standing on the steps of Killarney. Stevie one higher. Alex gave her another deep kiss, before pulling a bit away. 'I guess your lovely friends really want you to come with them.' Stevie nodded weakly. 'Just one more'. Alex smirked, before kissing her again. Kate started to press the horn. 'Come on, you can snog each other for the rest of your lives!'.

They leaned their foreheads to each other. 'They have such a romantic way of describing things', Stevie whispered to him. 'Well ... I know I want to snog you for the rest of my life.' Stevie pushed him, smirking. 'Time to go.' 'You always can stay.' 'Very tempting Ryan, but I guess it's best for me and this little one to get some rest.'

'We gonna have a lot of fun with those two', Regan laughed. 'I bet even the baby gets noxious of their 'loving ways'', Grace concluded from the back seat of the car. 'Really cute, but I'm gonna horn once more'. 'Come on Steves', Regan yelled, 'If you still wanna come with us ... or stay with your loverboy.' 'Coming!!'. She gave Alex a quick kiss. 'See yah tomorrow!' She tried to run, but after a few meters decided that was not a good idea in her condition.

Alex saw her step into the car, throwing him a hand kiss. He smirked. Life was good.


	50. Chapter 49: Hopes and fears

**Chapter 49 Hopes and fears**

Alex and Marcus drove upon the Drovers homestead. Stevie saw Alex' Ute coming closer and already waved. 'Regan!', she yelled. The McLeod came almost running from inside. 'What?' Stevie pointed her head at the two men who left the car. 'Good morning ladies', Alex smirked. Stevie smiled pleased at him. 'So you are bringing the wire. Couldn't handle that one on your own.' Alex walked to her shaking his head amused. 'Yeah well we kinda almost got into a fight who could visit, so we decided to both go.' Regan and Stevie had to laugh. 'Poor boys', Regan said as she gave Marcus, who handed her the wire, a quick kiss.

Alex and Stevie just kept staring at each other, carrying huge smiles on their faces. 'Hey Steves, I'm gonna head for the fencing. Marcus will accompany me. I think we'll take Blake for the ride'. Regan said. 'Okay', Stevie hardly looked at her friend. 'So there goes my employee', Alex smirked at his girlfriend. 'Well you always have Riley', Stevie said while claiming his shirt with her hands. 'Yeah well he's preparing for the competition. I swear I never seen him this nervous. So I have to go back.' She could hear the disappointment in his voice.

'Will I see you later today?' Stevie gazed at him, an asking look, still playing with his shirt. 'What about tonight?' 'Sounds good'. 'Okay it's a date, meet you at eight'. He walked to his Ute but returned a second later. Alex leaned in and kissed her deeply. The couple could hardly pull away from each other. 'Maybe you should call Marcus back', Stevie mumbled, between kisses, but Alex was too focused on her lips to reply. 'Nah, I better leave, so I will be finished for tonight', he finally said.

Stevie was preparing for the evening. She was looking forward to a night alone with Alex. After they got together at the barbeque the couple had spend the last two weeks visiting each other shortly, and prepared the baby room at Drovers, but they didn't have real quality time so far. When Alex arrived they agreed on having a drink on the veranda. They just sat down and kept sharing glances. 'You know, if it helps we could talk about the weather.' 'We could but it wouldn't'. They smirked at each other, moving closer so they could share a passionate kiss.

When they parted Stevie was still caressing his hair, staring a bit at it, when she turned her eyes to his again. Their faces were still close. 'There is something I wanted to talk about.' 'Uhm, talk hey', Alex grinned softly. Stevie gave him a teasy annoyed stare. 'Yeah talk ...', she sat back a little. 'I was thinking. The baby room over here is finished and well we didn't really talk about what's next with Regan around. So were you thinking of a baby room at Killarney?' Alex nodded; 'yeah I already had something in mind.' She smiled sweetly at him. 'Cause I don't know how it will go after this one is born.' She looked down for a sec. 'I see, well I guess things will work out when we get there. It's not that we have to rush things, and besides that the baby won't be here for another six weeks.'

Stevie was leaning against him. He could see she was thinking about something. 'What's on your mind?' he asked, caressing her arm. She sighed softly. Now they had been talking about when the baby was born, she started to think about all things coming along with it. Of course she had thought about it before, but it was coming closer. She looked up with a bit of a sad expression on her face. 'Do you think I will be a good mother?' He stared at her while she said it. 'Yeah I think you will be great. Are you worried about that?' She breathed out. 'It's just with Rose. I know it's a long time ago and ... I only had her as a baby and that didn't work out that well.' 'Hey', Alex made her look at him. 'I'm sure it wasn't your fault back then, and you were young, you had to do it on your own. Everything is different now. And when I see how you handle Rose now. She adores you. I'm sure this little one will do the exact same thing.' She smiled at him, and snuggled up even closer. He was such a wonderful man; just a few words could make her day.

'And what do you think of me as a dad?' He asked, staring in front of him. She looked up again with a big smirk. 'You will be great. You are made for it.' Alex had to laugh. 'You think?' She nodded heavy. 'Yeah, how you are with Charlotte and with Harrison. My heart melts when I see you like that.' 'Why did I never notice that?', Alex smirked. 'You would probably get all strange ideas in your head if I would have said something about it.' 'Strange ideas hey, like what? Like this.' He bended down to meet her lips. She nodded while kissing him back.

'Are you scared to give birth?', he asked all of a sudden. 'No not really, a little I guess.' She looked at him, but he glared away. 'Why?' she asked, pulling at his shirt. He shrugged his shoulders, so she continued. 'I can remember with Rose I was so scared, but I was even more scared when she was born. She was so beautiful, so precious.' She looked up at him again and saw he was fighting something back. 'Alex?' Her hand slid along his face and when his eyes looked down she could see they were teary. 'Hey, what's wrong?' She could feel his body breath deeply.

'It's just ... how are you so sure everything will be okay? What if something goes wrong with you or the baby?' Her eyes turned wet now, but she gave him a supportive soft smile. 'Cause I can feel it. And I know you are there with me. And that's all I need. In a few months it will be you, me and our baby Alex.' He smiled softly, trying to hold in his tears. He was scared to loose her, scared to loose the baby and if anything would go wrong during the confinement ... he shrugged away the thought. Stevie moved up at bit, her hand caressing the side of his face when he looked at her. 'I love you. I won't leave you, nor this little one. Don't forget it's a tough one. It's a Hall-Ryan baby.' She had made him smile with her last comment. He pulled her close. 'You are amazing, do you know that?'


	51. Chapter 50: Love couldn't be any better

**Chapter 50 Love couldn't be any better**

'Alex can I ask you something?', Stevie asked when she looked up. 'Yeah, what?', Alex watched her caring. 'Do you wanna stay the night?' 'Uhm let me think for a second', Alex placed his hand under his chin rubbing it. Stevie poked him. 'Ouch, that hurts. You get more aggressive when you're pregnant.' 'I always poke you!', Stevie stated. Alex laughed; 'those are loving punches without the intention to break my ribs.' She gave him a stare. 'Are we offended now?'

She stood up and walked away. 'Stevie!' Although Alex didn't understand why she acted like this, he figured he had done something wrong. So he rushed after her. 'Wait', she stood still, but didn't face him. 'Sorry about that. I wanna stay.' 'You should have thought about that earlier, forget it Alex.' 'Oh come on Stevie we are not gonna fight about thís.' 'No we're not ... we gonna kiss and make-up', Stevie said turning around, showing him a big smile before she stood on her toes, giving him a kiss.

Alex looked a bit dazed. What was that about, he thought to himself. 'You're cute like this', she concluded pleased. He now looked questioning at her. 'I was just teasing yah!' Alex rolled his eyes. 'Nice one ... but about the kiss and make-up part ...' 'So I take that as a 'yes I would love to stay Stevie'?' Alex smirked at her. She had her strange ways, but he totally melted when he saw her giving him that gorgeous smile. 'Good', she said, when her hand slid down his chest. 'Come'. Stevie now took his hand and leaded him inside.

'And I'm tired so we gonna go upstairs', she exclaimed while they made their way through the hallway. 'Good excuse Steves', Alex smirked. As they stood before her bedroom she looked up at him, wrapping her arms around Alex. 'Well, don't get any ideas. I have slept badly these last days, but maybe with you next to me ...' He was playing with her hair. 'So I have to help you get some sleep? Well that's something new.' 'Yes', she placed a finger on his nose for a sec, before moving away to the bathroom.

She started to brush her teeth, when Alex showed up behind her, his arms around her, hands caressing her tummy. He placed a kiss in her neck. 'So you think that will work?' She brushed along, spitting the toothpaste out a moment later. She turned her face a bit and nodded pleased at him. 'You're sure? Cause I don't know if I can resist you'. He gave her a quick kiss on her mouth, which made her giggle. 'Even with toothpaste.' 'Really?' She asked teasingly, turning around to throw her arms around him. Alex nodded, grinning; bending down to prove that a bit of toothpaste couldn't hold him back.

He kissed her smile and when she started to stop her giggling she pulled him closer and kissed along. Alex laughed when they parted: 'you can clean my teeth like this every night'. 'You're crazy Alex.' 'I know, that's why I love you.'

When they got into Stevie's bedroom, she took her clothes off like it was the most normal thing to do, putting a top on a moment later. Alex had taken place on the bed and just stared at her, noticing the exact shape of her stomach. When she noticed she gave him a strange look. 'What are you looking at?' 'You', she walked to him as he reached out for her. He pulled her top up again and his big hands caressed her tummy. He placed a kiss on it. 'Hey little one', he now started to talk, 'your daddy gonna stay with you tonight. So for once you're not just stuck with that annoying mother of yours.'

Stevie rolled her eyes. 'Mummy isn't annoying, and if your daddy keeps on talking like this, he won't spend that much nights with us.' Alex smirked. 'Are we fighting again?' Stevie smiled at him, taking his face in her hands. 'If we can make up again. Why are you still dressed anyway?'

'Lazy', he answered. Stevie moved closer and unbuttoned his blue shirt. Alex looked fascinated at her, and it made her smile. 'Alex, stop looking at me like that.' 'Like what?', he said teasingly. 'Okay', she said pulling away; 'You can handle your jeans yourself.' Alex watched her walking to the other side of the bed, where she sat down pulling the blankets over her. He crawled upon the bed, leaning over her. 'You're scared you can't resist, can yah?' He smirked, giving a kiss on her cheek. Her hand moved to his face, holding him close when he looked at her. 'Maybe, does it matter?' She started to kiss him. Alex moved closer to deepen the kiss, feeling her hands find their way to his naked body.

Her fingers ran playfully through his hair, when she moved, lying down. Once again they got lost in their kiss. Alex felt the need to take the blankets off of her. 'Come here', she mumbled when she stopped the kiss. Alex looked questioning at her. She laughed. 'Your jeans.' She sat up again to loosen his belt and jeans. When he finally had taken them off Stevie ordered him to turn off the lights. 'Geesh lights', he muttered, coming back from the light button near the door, lying down in bed.

'And what now?' Alex asked. She turned to him. 'What do you wanna do?' 'I only wanna do things you wanna do.' She shook her head amused, snuggling up against him. He had his arm around her, and caressed her shoulder. He wasn't really sure what to do next. Of course he wanted to make love to her, but he guessed that wouldn't be the most easy thing know she was this far in her pregnancy and maybe she didn't feel like it at all, and besides that all she was tired.

'You are thinking', she whispered giving a soft kiss on his chest before looking up. He now stroked her hair. She moved up a bit and ran her fingers down his chest to his stomach, looking at him. Alex couldn't deny the look in her eyes. 'You think about not wanting to rush things, you're thinking about the baby, you think about me.' He licked his lips; 'you know me too well.' 'So?' He moved to kiss her forehead. 'I wanna take time for things, treat you right, but it is very tempting', Alex spoke softly. Stevie saw his caring eyes look down on her, and she sighed content, realizing how much she loved him.

She lay down next to him, on her side. 'I love you Alex and I wished I wasn't this tired and didn't feel my stomach being in the way so often.' Alex smiled softly. 'Come', he made her move to her other side, facing him with her back, pulling her top off, laying closely to her. Stevie could feel the warmth of his body against hers. The soft touch of his fingers along her side, the save feeling of having him so close, and the tender touch of his lips on her shoulder. 'Just relax', he whispered.


	52. Chapter 51: Stairs and talks

**Chapter 51 Stairs and talks**

Alex spent more nights on Drovers after that night. They were getting closer and closer and were both very pleased with it. 'Couple spotted making out on the stairs, couple spotted making out on the stairs. You don't have acces to the second floor', Regan reported walking in the hall. Alex smiled, giving Stevie another kiss. 'If you wanna go upstairs, you just can ask', he said. 'May I?' The two moved aside and Regan passed them on the stairs. 'Why are you making out on the stairs anyway?', she asked. 'We found out it works perfectly for our height problem', Stevie smiled, not looking away from Alex. 'I see, nice find. Can yah built me an elevator?' Regan laughed getting at the end of the stairs.

'I was thinking of calling Michelle', Stevie said, while she stared at Alex. Her hands were holding on to the back of his neck, carressing his hair. 'And what do you want to tell her?' She raised her shoulder for a moment. 'I dunno, but I guess I have to tell her we're together, before Rose just blurts it out.' Alex smirked. 'Maybe she already did. She sounded pretty excited.' Stevie smiled remembering the scream Rose had let out when she told her on the phone Alex and her were officially together. 'Maybe she did.' Alex kissed her smile.

'Liz knows', Alex said softly. 'She called this morning and she wants to come and see the baby when it's born.' 'Really?' Stevie looked at him. 'And you agree on that?' 'Well ... it's not like she's gonna be a grandma who will see her grandchild every week. You know I don't want her to pass her hating Harry on to her grandchild.' Stevie kissed him gently. 'I can't really be positive about Harry either. You know he never wanted us together.' 'I know ...', Alex said softly. 'But the old bastard had it wrong, but he wasn't all that bad.' Stevie carressed his cheek, thinking for a moment how things would have been when he was still alive.

'I want our child to know about Harry, Liz, Bryce ... we don't really have a decent grandparent set for her or him anyway', Alex spoke. Stevie nodded. It sounded okay, although she thought about her own parents. 'You don't wanna tell them anything, do you?' She shook her head. 'They probably will hear it from Rose, but that's it for me'. 'Whatever you want', Alex pulled her close: 'happily he baby has two very cool parents'. Stevie laughed. 'Maybe me, but you, cool?' He softly tickled her. 'I thought you fell for my coolness?' Stevie had to giggle, making his hands stop. 'I fell for this ...', she now said seducing. Moving her face closer to kiss him soft. 'I see', Alex mumbled before kissing her back passionately.

'Come on you two, get a room. Have you ever considered what it does to this poor, innocent stairs?' Regan said, trying to pass the couple again. 'Maybe it turns him on?', Stevie mumbled between kisses. 'Now you're saying, it does look a bit stiff', Alex concluded moving a bit back, looking at the wooden stairs. Regan bursted out in a laugh. 'You two ...', she shook her head amused. 'It doesn't only have that effect on the stairs', Stevie smiled broadly to Alex. 'Oh for goodness sake. Can you two go to your bedroom', Regan tried to be serious, still laughing. 'Maybe we should', Alex winked. Stevie moved closer to his ear, whispering: 'Maybe you should think about your mother again.'

Some days later ...

Alex walked nervously through Killarney's living room when Marcus walked in. 'Oy, mate what are you doing?', he ask when he saw Alex' behavior. 'I'm thinking.' 'That must hurt'. Alex gave him a look, before walking to the sideboard. 'About this.' He showed him a black box, opening it. 'Ay, looking pretty Ryan'. 'You think she will like it?' 'I'm sure she will. So you gonna pop the question?' Marcus looked at his mate, who seemed to intend to keep standing still now. 'Yes', he now couldn't surpress the huge smile on his face.

'I know it might be quick, but I want her to be my wife. I want us to be a real family. I want her forever and I want her to know it.' 'Ouch, you got it bad mate.' 'You think it's a bad idea?', Alex asked immediately, starting to feel unsure. 'No, no, not at all. I think she will love it. She's crazy about you. She makes Regan crazy with all her talks about you, mate.' He pushed Alex, who smiled. 'She does?' 'Yeah you seem to be a pretty good man.' 'What does she say?' Alex was now getting curious. 'I don't know, I don't even wanna know. Probably girl talk, you know.' 'Ah', Alex nodded.

'But I'm not sure how I'm gonna ask her. She's not really a type that wants it all romantic.' 'All woman like a touch of romance, even if they don't admit it. It mostly has to be something personal. Not like in a hundred candles, or roses or so, but something that reminds her of you two', Marcus was sure. 'How do you know all that stuff?' Alex was impressed with his friend's knowledge. Of course he could remember how he asked Fiona, but that wasn't really impressive. He had just blurted it out. No, this time it had to be perfect.

'I read one of those women magazines in the Drover's kitchen. Had to wait on Regan last week, so ...' 'Ah the one with that red head on it, you know that hot chick.' 'Simmone Mackinnon. Yeah she is fine. I always watched Baywatch because of her. I read she's engaged to that bloke from Stargate Atlantis. You know the one with those dreadlocks.' 'Really? Now you're saying, I missed last weeks episode.' 'Recorded it, wanna watch it with a beer and some chips?' 'Good idea, mate. We also can think of some ways to propose.' Marcus and Alex walked out of the house to go to the cottage. 'You know what, Stevie reminds me a bit of her', Marcus concluded. Alex chuckled; 'yeah I'm a lucky man.'


	53. Chapter 52: Is forever enough

**Chapter 52 Is forever enough**

_I slip in bed when you're asleep  
To hold you close and feel your breath on me  
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do  
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you_

Alex pulled at his black shirt, feeling nervous already. He checked once again if the box was still in the pocket of his black coat before taking off. _There was a time I had nothing to give ... _he almost sang it along, having the song heard for many times these last few days. He switched the radio on tuner before getting out of his Ute. Nervous, that's what he felt ... his heart was beating quickly, adrenaline rushing through his veins.

_They didn't have you where I come from  
Never knew the best was yet to come  
Life began when I saw your face  
And I hear your laugh like a serenade_

'I wanna take you somewhere', he tried to sound nonchalant. Stevie gave him a strange amused look, pulling softly at his black coat. Strangely enough he wore it only occasionally, while he looked great in black. 'Okay', she said giving him a smile, which made him smirk. 'Good, have you peed?' She pushed him. 'Hey where we're going there's no loo, so I had to check.' Stevie thought for a moment. He was right; she should visit the bathroom before they head off to where ever.

Regan smirked at him. 'Looking good, Alex'. He nodded pleased, and he could see she had noticed his tension. 'Anything special planned?' 'Maybe ...', he couldn't suppress his smile, when Stevie returned. 'Ready?' 'Yupz?' She said while glancing away shyly. It was funny that she sometimes still could feel shy around him. It was just in the way he looked at her, that caused her an extra heartbeat.

_How long do you want to be loved  
Is forever enough, is forever enough  
How long do you want to be loved  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up_

'And we're here.' 'Ah the lake'. Stevie didn't move, not sure what Alex was planning. 'Just come with me.' He did the same as months ago, sitting down on the loading platform of his Ute, this time pulling her on his lap. Stevie looked at him, a soft smile on her face wondering what was going on. She noticed he was different tonight, not totally relaxed. 'Why did you take me to this place?' He held her close, staring in her brown eyes. 'I thought you might like it.' She only smiled at him, touching his face to give him a gentle kiss. 'So I guess you do.' Stevie nodded, 'But we can't stay too long ...' He looked questioning at her. 'I don't feel that great today', when she said it her hand grabbed her stomach, pressing her eyes and teeth together.

'You're okay?' Alex asked concerned, rubbing her lower back. She smiled, feeling the pain flowing away. 'Just some aches. I had some earlier.' 'You're sure, cause I can take you back.' She smiled sweetly at him, caressing his face. 'It's okay, I like it here, with you.' 'Good, let me put on some background music.' Stevie looked amused at him, getting of his lap. He indeed was acting strange. Background music? Alex got in the Ute, hearing her let out a muffled scream. He rushed out within a sec.

'What?' Alex asked confused, seeing her hold her stomach, pain showing on her face. 'I think this is a real woe.' His eyes grew big. 'You think the baby is coming?' She nodded. 'If the contractions are coming at regular intervals.' She breathed out. 'I'm gonna take you to the hospital', Alex said quickly. 'Maybe it's false alarm, maybe it still takes some time before the labor starts.' 'No need to wait for that, it's not that the hospital is just around the corner. And I wanna be sure you and the baby are okay.'

They drove to Fisher, while Stevie got another contraction. 'Do you have a watch, or something. I got no clue what time was in between', she said. 'I guess we're ten minutes on the road now. You're okay?' She nodded quickly: 'Yeah, this is quicker than I thought.' 'I know, what is it? Almost three weeks too early.' Stevie nodded again, trying to stay as calm and relaxed as possible. Not much later her water broke. 'We're officially in labor', she mumbled. 'No worries, we'll be at the hospital within no time.' Alex reached for her hand. She grabbed his and pinched it softly. He looked aside, sharing a smile. He felt still pretty relaxed, already happy they were on their way to the hospital and that he was with her.

It was more than an hour later. Stevie was lying on her left side on a hospital bed, Alex close next to her. The contractions were lasting long and more frequent. The active labor had started. Stevie got of the bed again to walk around a bit. During a contraction she leaned on Alex, who supported her, rubbing her back.

Hours later Stevie got to the hardest part. She squeezed Alex' hand hard, for another time, breathing heavy. 'You're doing great', Alex said, getting back up from the nurse. She shivered. 'Oh God, this hurts', she breathed out feeling the end of the contraction. He swept her forehead. 'It's going perfect Steves.' 'Can I push with the next one?' She asked the doctor. 'Just a few more to go before you're fully diluted', Dr. Cahill said calm. 'You gave birth before. It probably won't take that long.' 'Well, that one feels like ages ago', she sighed.

'Only push if you feel like it.' Stevie nodded feeling her uterus contract. She changed position when she felt another contraction coming, now feeling the urge to bear down. She let out a heavy scream. 'Ahhh ...' 'Keep pushing ... take your rest now ...' Alex could only focus on her, telling her she was doing a great job, feeling the pain in his hand when she pinched it.

'You're doing great, keep pushing ... I see the baby's scalp', Cahill spoke loud. 'Now slow it down, keep blowing ... blow, blow, blow ...' She kept blowing, accompanied with Alex, who felt the need to join her. The next contraction the baby's head became more visible, while she got instruction to once more take it easy, although she felt the immense need to push. 'Perfect ... the head is out ... the next one push it hard.'

Alex felt excitement taking over his body more and more. 'Now push ...' Stevie let out another loud scream, while the baby made his way out. 'There we have ... her ... it's a girl', dr. Cahill said, smiling, while they could hear her start crying. He laid her on Stevie's stomach to hold, a blanket to cover her. 'Oh my God', Stevie uttered, a wide smile taking over her face. All kinds of emotions were running through her body, when she started crying of joy. 'Look at her.' She now looked up at Alex, who watched proudly and with a huge smile down on his daughter. 'She's perfect. Look at those little fingers. Hey ...' He now stretched out his index finger, which seemed huge near his daughter's hand, who grabbed it a second later. 'See, already daddy's little girl.'

_As you wander through this troubled world  
In search of all things beautiful  
You can close your eyes when you're miles away  
And hear my voice like a serenade_

The doctor now clamped the umbilical cord in two places and let Alex cut it in between. Stevie had to laugh. He looked at her. 'You were great', rubbing her forehead before placing a gentle kiss on it. 'Thank you, for being here for me, for us.' She looked at him, than at her daughter while saying it. 'Your daddy has been of great support', she now tickled her baby, holding it close to her breast. Just a couple of minutes later the baby started to nurse.

_How long do you want to be loved  
Is forever enough, is forever enough  
How long do you want to be loved  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up  
_

Dixie Chicks - Lullaby


	54. Chapter 53: Say hi to

**Chapter 53 Say hi to**

'Ain't you a pretty girl. Yeah, you look like your mummy', Alex kept talking baby talk, carrying his daughter in his hands. Stevie was lying in the bed watching him talk to their daughter, with a big smile. 'And you know what ... your big sister is coming, yes she is, and she's gonna love you!' 'It's a wonder she keeps quiet Alex', Stevie laughed. 'She likes me talking to her. Don't yah, little one. You are daddy's dream girl'. 'Hey pity, I thought I was', Stevie said amused. She loved looking at them. Alex walked up to her, leaning against the side of her bed. 'You're my dream woman Stevie', he said gently, placing the baby in her arms. She gave him a big smile, which he kissed and made them miss out the knock on the door.

'Geesh, you lovebirds. I'm not sure my little sister wants to see all that', Rose smirked walking into the room. The couple looked up, and Stevie's smile even got wider, as far as that was possible. 'Awwww ...' Rose said moved, seeing the baby in her mother's arms. Alex let her next to Stevie, while she kept looking at her little sister. 'She's so small', she stated, while reaching out for her. 'Yeah she is', Stevie joined. 'Awww, she is perfect!', Rose still sounded as touched as the moment before. She now hugged Stevie. 'Congrats, mum, you can tell she's a Hall girl'. Stevie laughed. 'Don't forget she's a Ryan too!'

'Aww, look at him', Stevie said sweet, but teasingly, 'I bet he feels left out.' 'Aww Alex', Rose spoke with a high voice, like she always did when she called his name. She gave him a hug. 'Well done'. Alex laughed; 'I haven't heard that one yet!' Rose rolled her eyes at him, a huge smile on her face. All of a sudden she seemed to realize something, which almost made her jump. 'What's her name?! Do you have a name yet?'

Stevie and Alex had to laugh. 'No, we haven't', Stevie said, giving her two daughters a look. 'Oh', Rose sounded disappointed for a moment, but than she realized she could make one up. 'Oeh, let me think of one.' The adults both raised their eyebrows looking at each other amused, when they saw Rose think deeply. 'What about Amber, like in Amber Tamblyn. She's cool!' 'Like in who?' Alex wondered, not getting a response of Rose, cause she already was thinking of another name. She now said ten names at once, which sound all dull to her.

'We'll come up with one, don't worry', Stevie reassured her. 'So how do you call her now?' Rose asked, sitting on the side of the bed. 'Hall-Ryan baby ... or in Alex' case; dream girl'. Rose had to laugh, seeing her mother giving Alex a loving, but strange look. 'So can I hold her?' 'Of course you can.' They carefully transferred the baby into Rose's arms who looked stunned at her sister. 'You know, she does remind me a lot of you when you were just born.' 'Really?' Stevie nodded. 'Yeah, just as beautiful, but you were a bit bigger.' Rose rolled her eyes at the last comment. 'Nice mum.' 'Well you weren't born this early Rose.'

'I don't even had the time to buy a present, but I will have one later this week', Rose now said. Stevie and the baby would stay in the hospital for about a week, so they had enough time for visits. Although Regan wanted to visit immediately, Alex had talked her out of it, to give Stevie a bit more rest, as she had given birth during the night. So a day later it was time for some Drover's visit.

Kate and Regan both squeeled, well Kate more than Regan. 'She is so wonderful?', Kate said holding her in her arms. 'You must be so proud'. 'We sure am', Alex smirked giving Stevie a kiss. 'I always knew we would make a good team.' Regan laughed at them 'Well it took you a while, but in the end it's all worth it.' 'It definitely is', Stevie gave her friend a hug. Alex, who thought it was getting all too girly now, wondered where Marcus was. 'I thought you said Marcus would come with you?' 'Oh yeah he's parking the car and getting all stuff with him. We brought some clothes.' 'Okay, let me see if I can find him'.

When Alex walked down the corridor of the hospital he saw his mate walk up to him with a big grin, carrying a bag. 'So you are a dad, big guy. Congratulations!' They gave each other a hug, with firm pets on the shoulders. 'Yeah I sure am. Can't wait for you to see her. She's like a dream mate.' 'Who? The baby or Stevie?' Marcus asked teasingly. 'Both, she was so great during the delivery. Do I have respect for that. She's amazing.' He shook his head stunned, still holding the grin that covered his face since the first moment he had seen his daughter. 'But did you propose?'

'No, I didn't have the change with that little one.' Marcus had to laugh, seeing Alex' serious expression. 'I see, so the little one is already spoiling her daddy's plans. Well, get used to that mate.' 'I don't mind Marcus, now come, and I will show her.'

Inside Stevie was unpacking a light brown teddybear. 'Awww, that is cute Regan, thanks. It even has a pink shirt.' 'I bought it last week when I got the supplies. I just knew it would be a girl.' 'Yah', Kate mumbled. 'Now I lost the bet, cause you didn't turn out to be a boy', she focused on the baby saying the last sentence. 'Oh gosh, you made a bet about the gender?', Stevie asked amused. 'Yeah, I was sure it would be a girl. Cause Alex is a girly man.'

'I'm a what?' Alex asked surprised when he walked into the door, followed by Marcus. 'A girly man', his friend poked him. 'I have to remember that one', he chuckled. 'Nice girlfriend you have mate, geesh, a girly man.' Alex walked up to Regan who gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'You are a man that needs to have a daughter, Alex. That's what I'm trying to say.' 'Good, cause I was scared you made me want to wear pink.'

'I still think Alex is a boy man', Kate said, while handing the baby to Marcus, who seemed keen to hold her after giving Stevie a kiss. 'Nice', Alex now smirked, giving Kate a quick hug. 'I knew I always could count on you Manfredi. The next one will be son.' He smirked widely. 'Don't you think Stevie?' He know bend down to kiss his smiling girlfriend who sat on the side of the bed. 'I'm sure I will look forward making one', he whispered, making her giggle and blush.

'There we go again', Regan said looking at the two, 'she just gave birth Alex.' 'There's nothing wrong with talking about it', Alex smiled back. And to be honest he really was looking forward to it.


	55. Chapter 54: Our dream

Chapter 54 Our dream

Alex lay his little girl in her hospital crib, still watching her, as he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Stevie smiled walking to him, laying her arm along his waist. He looked at her with a sweet smile, before kissing her. They both stared at their daughter for a moment. 'Isn't she a dream?' Alex whispered. Stevie nodded, pulling him a bit closer. 'You both are'. He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her. 'I love you', gazing in her brown eyes made him always feel a bit lost. 'I love you too'. He leaned in to kiss her, her lips asked for more. Stevie's hand pulled him close, starting to kiss him deeply. When their lips separated they held their faces still close, holding each other in a strong embrace. 'Maybe you should pinch me', Alex spoke softly. 'Why?' She smirked, giving him another kiss. 'Cause it feels like I'm constantly dreaming'. 'I know', she agreed, while they started to kiss again.

All of a sudden Stevie pulled away, which surprised Alex, but the smile on her face reassured him there was no need to worry about anything. Stevie looked down beside her. 'She is a dream ... a dream without a name'. Yeah ...', Alex mumbled not having a clue where she was aiming at, but he knew by now she had her strange ways. So her just enjoyed her embrace, giving her a kiss on her cheek. 'Why don't we just call her that', he heard her say softly. 'What? Dream?' She turned her face to him and smirked, shaking her head softly. 'What about Aislin?' 'Aislin?', Alex said to himself, thinking a bit, looking down at his little girl. 'Aislin.' She was sleeping peacefully with a soft smile on her face. 'I like it, I thinks he will like it too.'

'It means dream', she now said, while Alex faced her and looked questioning at her. 'I remember that it's Gaelic for dream.' 'Really?' Alex smiled. 'It's perfect; Aislin Hall-Ryan'. 'It is perfect', Stevie nodded. 'It reminds me a bit of your name', she said kissing him once more. 'But I bet she has the S, I, N from you.' Stevie laughed. 'She has the best of both of us.'

While they just smiled at each other in silence Stevie wondered about the second name. 'What about Louise as second name?' 'Aislin Louise.' The name kept crossing Alex' mind, making him press his lips on Stevie's forehead. 'What did I ever do to deserve you?' Alex touched the side of her face. He had never felt happier. They gazed into each other's eyes, when their moment got interrupted by their daughter, who started to wake up. 'There we have our Aislin Louise interrupting her mummy and daddy', Stevie smiled. 'I hope she won't do that too often', Alex smirked, while his hand slid down of Stevie's face.


	56. Chapter 55: Better man

**Chapter 55 Better man**

Nervously Alex walked in the corridor of the hospital. His daughter had interrupted his proposal, but he wasn't willing to wait for another few days till everything was settled at home. He wasn't going to wait, he once did and he had always regretted it. Alex was sure he wouldn't make the same mistake again. So he tried to dress as best as possible in these circumstances and felt the little box in his jacket. A cd in his right hand, determined to find a Discman somewhere.

'Close your eyes', he said before fully opening the door of the room. Stevie was sitting up in her bed and smirked. 'Why should I close my eyes Alex?' 'Just do it, for me, please'. He hoped she would go along easily, cause he was already getting too nervous without her questions. Stevie smiled. He was up to something and she could hear it in his voice. 'Ready?' 'Yeah Alex, closed'.

He walked in and she could feel him pushing her to the side of the bed, when he joined her. 'I'm not sure the bed can take this Alex.' 'I'm only leaning against it ... don't open your eyes okay.' Stevie nodded. She felt him push something in her ear, which made her move away. 'Alex!' 'It's okay'. He gave her a kiss on her ear, which made her smile. She figured it indeed was a little headphone. Alex placed the other one in his own ear and whispered. 'Just listen'.

_There was a time  
I had nothing to give  
I needed shelter from the storm I was in  
And when it all got too heavy  
You carried my weight  
And I want to hold you  
And I want to say_

She could feel him hold her hand, while listened attentive to the song. She recognized it and it made her smile. It was the song that had played on the radio when they had been at the lake, many months ago. He had taken her hand when they sat in the car, not willing to drive away before the song was finished. It had been the perfect ending of a big step in their relationship. She was surprised he remembered it.__

That you are all that I need  
For you, I give my soul to keep  
You see me, love me  
Just the way I am  
For you I am a better man  
I said you are the reason  
For everything that I do  
I'd be lost, so lost, without you

Under the stars  
At the edge of the sea   
There's no one around  
No one but you and me  
We'd talk for hours  
As time drifts away  
I could stay here for ever  
And hold you this way

When it was finished she could feel him take the headphone out, getting off the bed. She didn't have a clue what he was up to, till she felt him take her hand again; in front of her. 'Now you may open your eyes.' Stevie slowly lifted her eyelids to see him kneeled down in front her. She could feel her heart skip a beat within a sec. 'Alex'. 'Shssss', he said, placing his index finger on his lips. 'Just hear me'. She could feel his hand tremble in hers and the only thing she could do was stare at him with big eyes. Alex looked down for a moment, hoping he could remember the words he so wanted her to hear.

'There's a reason that I made you listen to this song. Cause it's the way you make me feel.' He paused, hardly able to make his voice sound clear, breathing in. 'Stevie ...' He moved a bit. She bitted her lip, already feeling the tears well up. 'You're the one that makes my heart beat. The one I wanna be with. You gave me the most precious thing, our daughter. I never been here, I never felt this, and it's all because of you I am ...' He paused again, searching for words. It made her smile for a moment. 'There are a lot of other things I wanted to say ...' She smiled comforting at him. 'I love you with all my heart Stevie. I love you so much that it sometimes frightens me, but I know you will pull me through. Will you make me the happiest man in the universe and marry me?'

Hopefully he looked up, seeing the first tears leaving her eyes, when the biggest smile he had ever seen of her, shone through the tears. 'Yes Alex!' He stood up and pulled her close. He looked at her with a big smile. 'I love you Stevie'. 'I love you too Alex', she almost giggled, feeling the intense joy inside, before he leaned in to kiss her. Tender, but passionate, when he moved back. 'One last thing'. He showed her the black box, opening it in front of her when she looked totally stunned. 'Oh my, it's beautiful Alex.' 'You like it?' 'Like it? I love it!'

'Shall we tell everyone?' Stevie asked, while Alex caressed her face. He hadn't been able to take his eyes of her for the last thirty minutes. 'Just think about it for a moment, will be back soon.' Stevie looked questioning amused at him. 'I wish I could stay but I really have to pee.' Stevie laughed out loud, seeing Alex' face, knowing it were probably all nerves, and he had tried to hold it up, cause he simply didn't want to leave her side. 'Sorry', he said uncomfortable. 'You're cute Alex', she smirked, giving him a kiss on his cheek. 'Cute? Cause I have to pee?' He looked at her. Stevie shook her head amused. 'Just go'.

'Back'. 'I see', Stevie said with a big smile. She had stared at her engagement ring for the last few minutes, immediately stroking her hand along his face when he sat down next to her. 'I've thought', Stevie said softly. 'I think at least Rose needs to know. When she comes tomorrow we can tell her, her sister's name and that we are engaged. And I can show her my handsome fiancée'. They smirked at each other. 'I can show her mine'. 'Really?' Their faces were close. He nodded teasingly. 'She's very beautiful.' 'Really?' 'Yeah, and she has beautiful brown eyes.' Stevie kept smiling at him, encouraging to continue.

'And those red curls framing her pretty face, and those very soft lips which form the most beautiful smile. Something like that', Alex aimed at the smile Stevie was giving him. 'And she had that very sexy way of biting her lip. Oh and her body, you should see her body. Even after just giving birth she's perfect.' 'Oh really?' Stevie said once again, amused, but impressed with his sweet words. 'Perfect breasts and a cute little bum. Oh and don't forget her sexy legs. But you know what the best thing about her is?' 'Nope', she shook her head, not breaking her smile. 'She's even more beautiful inside.' She kissed him for his great words, which he eagerly replied.

_For you I am a better man_

James Morrison – Better man


	57. Chapter 56: Never doubt the way

**Chapter 56 Never doubt the way**

Alex was standing with his daughter in his arms near her crib. 'You gonna sleep in your very own bed tonight, Aislin. And even better, your daddy will sleep in his own bed, well your mummy's bed. That's even better', he grinned. He could see her get sleepy. Alex kissed her gentle on her forehead, when he felt Stevie's presence beside him. 'I hope she sleeps well', Stevie whispered, before caressing Aislin's tiny cheek. 'I hope so too', Alex lay her down, while Stevie covered her baby girl with a blanket. 'She looks very peaceful', the proud parents concluded. Alex looked at Stevie and pulled her closed, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as he just had done with Aislin. 'It's good to be home', Stevie whispered while her hands where moving along his back. She loved it just to have him this near, holding him, smelling his scent and hear his heart beat when her head leaned against his chest. 'It surely is', Alex spoke. 'It was a pretty intense day'. 'But it was nice', Stevie said immediately.

She could remember the girl's faces when she showed them her engagement ring, while Alex had slipped out of the room five minutes later, winking at her, cause the screaming and excitement of the Drovers girls was getting a bit too much. Let alone all the plans they were making about the wedding. Alex knew exactly what he wanted, something simple. Just friends and family and not on Killarney. There was no way he would get married on Killarney ever again. Their wedding day would have to be the opposite of his and Fiona's. It had to feel real, just like their love. But mostly he just wanted to marry her, he didn't really care that much about details, as long as he could take her in his arms, knowing she was his wife, and Aislin had married parents.

Rose had been over the moon about the news. She loved her sister's name, and she also had all kinds of ideas about the wedding day, and the honeymoon, and the dresses, and well about everything Stevie had asked her to lead her down the aisle and give her away, and she had almost screamed the whole hospital together from excitement.Stevie slipped under the sheets, while Alex already had been lying in bed, watching her undress. He just simply loved it to see her like that. Stevie snuggled up against him, her fingers brushing along his chest. 'It's so nice to have you near.' Alex just smirked. She moved up and kissed him. 'I love you Alex.' 'I know', he grinned teasingly. 'Well, don't you say the same thing about me?' 'I'd rather show it than say it'. She caressed the side of his face. 'It's a bit too early for that', she softly spoke, looking him straight into his eyes. 'I know', he gentle answered. 'There's no need to rush it.' She showed him her smile, the smile he so adored.

His hand moved down her body, his fingers passing her stomach. 'Strange to feel you without that big tummy.' She never had a huge tummy, but it surely was a difference. Though it seemed she hadn't gained that much weight during the pregnancy after all. 'At least it's not in the way anymore'. And Alex could feel it right away as she moved over him in a way she hadn't done during her pregnancy. Stevie started to kiss him, gentle, slow and soft, but both couldn't hold it in and soon it changed into a deep and passionate kiss. Alex could feel the excitement starting to fill his body, so he gently broke off the kiss, not wanting her to feel pushed in any kind of way. 'I guess we just should get some sleep, as long as Aislin keeps her quiet', Stevie said softly, knowing what Alex was thinking. He nodded, while Stevie turned around and lie against him. Alex switched off the light, and snuggled up against her back, softly stroking her red curls away. Stevie closed her eyes; enjoying the nice feeling Alex gave her. She really had missed him near her during the night.

_Sometimes late at night_  
_I lie awake and watch her sleeping  
She's lost in peaceful dreams  
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark  
And the thought crosses my mind  
If I never wake up in the morning  
Would she ever doubt the way I feel  
About her in my heart_

He caressed her upper arm and placed a few kisses on her shoulder. Her hand had taken his, holding it close in front of her. 'Stevie', she could feel him whispering it against her skin. The soft pinch in his hand told him enough. 'I love you ... words can't really tell, but I do love you more than I ever loved anyone.' Stevie's eyes were wide open, she felt a bit surprised with his words. Like he could have sensed her slight doubt that sometimes crept up inside. The doubt that he had loved Claire more. She could hear him say she probably had some competition now with Aislin and she knew he was smiling. He could feel her move in his arms, turning around. Her eyes were teary, but she smiled. The gaze they shared was enough to tell they both understood what he had just said. There were no words needed, just an intense stare that made them feel more complete than they ever had.

Ronan Keating - If tomorrow never comes


	58. Chapter 57: Your name

**Chapter 57 Your name**

It was Aislin's name giving party. The sun was shining. Kate had made some nice Italian snacks and everything was set on the veranda of Drovers. It was just a few days after Stevie, Alex and Aislin had come home and the parents had tried to keep the name a secret and they had been pretty successful till the moment Rose had arrived and picked up her baby sister, of course calling her name.

'I'm sorry mum', Rose said when they were preparing to get to the veranda. 'It's okay', Stevie smirked. She watched her two daughters, Rose holding Aislin. She could look at it forever. Alex kissed Stevie on her cheek. 'So my ladies, ready to reveal the big secret?!' He grinned, obviously teasing Rose about her 'mistake'. 'You gonna tease me with that the rest of my life, will you Alex?' Rose said, slightly annoyed. 'Yes', he showed a huge smile. 'Well let's get outside.'

Rose kept holding Aislin in her arms, while Stevie and Alex were holding each other close, facing their friends who were gathered together. Alex coughed to get every one's attention. 'Before we get to the champagne, I have a few words to say. We're thankful for you all to come to our daughter's name giving party. I wanna thank my stepdaughter to be, Rose, for blurting out her name in front of everyone. That takes a load of my shoulders', he jokingly said, winking at Rose. Stevie rubbed his back, hoping he would continue his speech, otherwise she would take over.

Alex looked down at her, holding his tongue for another moment so she would continue rubbing his back. When she noticed that stupid grin on his face she poked him. 'I think my lovely fiancée wants me to continue', Alex said, causing laughter from the rest. 'Well, I think as this moment I'm the happiest man alive. I have a wonderful fiancée, if she doesn't poke me, a great daughter to be, Rose and a beautiful daughter. May I introduce you to the best thing that ever happened to me, besides of course the woman, which made it all possible ...', Alex grinned again, '... Aislin Louise Hall-Ryan!'

Everyone started to clap. 'Can we now open the bottle of champagne?' Marcus shouted. 'I need a drink!' Riley yelled right after. 'Boys, wait', Alex calmly showed his hand palm. 'Especially you Marcus, but first I will give my fiancée some speech time.' 'Well thank you, my fiancé', Stevie had to laugh, glad Alex wasn't acting too serious about this whole thing. She took a moment before staring to talk. 'Aislin is our dream, in many ways. It isn't any wonder that her name means dream in Gaelic.' The crowd finished that line with an 'awwww', before Stevie continued. 'I think we both never could have expected her to be this perfect, and even not waking us up last night.' 'She did', Regan said quickly, 'but I went to her.' Stevie laughed. 'Okay, Auntie Regan makes us believe our daughter is perfect. Well, Louise is her second name and it refers to Claire, our dear friend.'

Alex nodded. 'So we're coming to the last part, before this party will really get started. We would like to ask Marcus and Regan to be the Godfather and Godmother of our little Aislin, so what is your answer to that?' Regan and Marcus were standing closely together, Marcus' arm around his girlfriend who smiled sweetly at him, before they both agreed excited. 'Nice! And with that I would say, Pat hand me the champagne!'

Some time later Regan gave Stevie a tight hug. 'There is just on other thing I have to ask you Regan', Stevie said, while Regan finally let go. Her friend gave her a questioning look. 'You know Alex and I are going to get married, and that will be pretty soon. And as you have always been there for me, never judged my feelings for him or my actions', Stevie showed a funny look, being serious at the same time. 'Would you be my best woman?' 'What?' Regan mouth was wide open. 'You're kidding?' Regan held her hands on her friend's shoulders and gave her a look if Stevie had gone crazy. 'Of course not!' 'But I thought Rose would be.' 'Well she will give me away, but I want you to do the hard work', Stevie laughed. 'So?' 'I would love to!'

Alex had changed a glass of champagne for a bottle of beer. He had been chatting with Marcus and Riley, and as Riley finally had left the conversation, Alex rubbed his boot in the sand in front of the veranda. Slightly nervous what to say, so he just went for the direct way. 'So Marcus, I am looking for a best man. So would you like to have the honor?' 'The what?' Marcus asked surprised. 'The honor, well at least I hope you would feel it an honor to be my best man.' 'Well, yeah of course mate, it would be an honor', Marcus said, giving Alex a soft punch on his arm. Alex smirked. 'Great mate. It will be great!'

Marcus raised his bottle of beer to toast. 'May I ask if there is a maid of honor?' Alex grinned and nodded. 'I think you will be pleased with Stevie's choice.' 'Good!' They both took a swung of their beer. 'Can you believe last time I asked Stevie?', Alex said to Marcus, though his eyes were looking at Stevie on the veranda, laughing with Rose and Regan, while she held her baby girl. 'You did?' 'Yeah, yeah, call me a fool. Now I get why that didn't really work out that well.' Marcus laughed, turning her face to see what had caught Alex' eyes. 'You're a lucky man Alex.' 'I know, I know.'


	59. Chapter 58: Veil

**Chapter 58 Veil**

'You know, I don't wanna wear a veil. It isn't the first time I marry, and it isn't yours either', Stevie said, sitting on Alex' lap in the kitchen. 'You really have to remind me of that one?' Alex softly smirked, touching the side of her face with his fingers. 'I guess we both needed some practice', she grinned back at him. 'So no veil', she repeated once more, making that clear. 'Good idea, you are bad with veils anyway.' Stevie rolled her eyes, seeing Alex' face covered with a teasy smile.

'I can remember that day', Alex spoke softly, his lips touching her cheek. A bit shy she almost turned her face away. 'You covered with mud.' Alex grinned again, thinking of that moment she had tried to 'save' Tess' veil. 'You were so entertaining', he laughed, feeling her push him. 'That wasn't funny Alex!' 'Oh believe me it was, but it wasn't just funny, cause I could remember you getting out of the mud. Your shirt all wet. I couldn't stop watching you when you changed.' Stevie shook her head. 'You we're acting like such a bloke.' He nodded pleased. 'I just noticed how beautiful you were.'

'Okay you scored a point with that last comment', Stevie said, while her fingers were playing with his hair. 'And I can remember something else from that day.' Her smile grew back, thinking of it. 'Our first kiss ...', she softly said, wanting to kiss him again, but Alex wanted to put in some more words. 'The way you looked at me, the way you felt in my arms and the way you kissed', Alex sighed, '... I should have known back then you were the one. I probably knew.' Stevie moved even closer, her lips touching the top of his nose softly. Her big eyes were staring at him. 'I knew you were the one', her hand held onto his face. 'But we always have bad timing.' 'Not any more', he said showing his serious face. 'Now I can kiss you whenever I want.' She nodded, showing a smile.

'Maybe we should repeat our first kiss', Alex said softly. 'I knew I looked up into your eyes and at your lips, something like this'. Alex couldn't resist that look in her eyes, seeing her move closer as their lips parted to kiss the other, deepening the kiss and finishing with a deep long move. Their faces so close, finally breaking apart, leaving them both breathless just like three years ago. Their foreheads leaned to each other, opening their eyes to share that intense gaze, smiles showing.

'How did we manage to deny that for all those years?', Alex finally spoke. 'Well, I had it planned a bit quicker, but you kinda messed things up.' 'You know I regret it every single day I left you there', she could tell he wasn't that pleased with her words, speaking so softly and serious. But Stevie wasn't really aiming at the moment Alex had in mind. 'I meant the moment you took off after that fire.' He gave her a strange look. 'I've loved you for so long Alex'; her fingers were still caressing his face. 'I just wish I had told you'.

She raised her shoulders for a sec, looking kinda sad, thinking about all the time they had wasted, all the hurt it had cost both of them. 'Well, I wished I had the courage to really find out what I was feeling back then. There have been a lot of moments Stevie, when I looked at you, when I wondered if there could be something more. I guess I was hoping for you to make that first move. I was scared it would endanger our friendship.' 'It's okay, we made it', Stevie softly spoke before puling his face close to kiss him again.

Regan walked in and shook her head immediately. 'You know guys', Stevie and Alex let go, a bit startle, too caught up in the moment. 'There are one, two, three empty chairs. You don't need to share one', she chuckled. 'Alex' lap is very comfy', Stevie grinned. 'Yeah, you should try it once', Alex now laughed, of course fully prepared for Stevie's push. 'Maybe I will', Regan teasingly winked, grabbing a cookie from the table to lead it to her mouth.

'So how far are you guys with planning the wedding?', she asked, still chewing on the cookie. 'We almost have finished the guest list. Meg comes over and wants to take care of the food. Uhm ...' Stevie thought for a moment. Alex looked smirking at her. 'And you won't wear a veil', Alex added. 'Yes .. I won't wear a veil!', she said looking at Regan. 'And we need to shop for a wedding dress this week', she quickly added before her friend could say anything. 'Pity I thought you meant you wouldn't wear a dress either', Alex grinned. 'Ouch!' 'Stop it Alex', Stevie said playfully. 'I'm discussing serious business with Regan here.' 'What if I'm gonna let you girls talk about the dresses and I will check on my daughter.' Stevie nodded, giving Alex a kiss before getting of his lap.


	60. Chapter 59: Love interrupted

**Chapter 59 Love interrupted**

Stevie was throwing some hay bales on the truck, standing still for a moment to catch her breath, brushing the sweat of her forehead. She felt two hands slid down her waist, which lead to a big smile on her face. He started to kiss her neck, while she closed her eyes, just enjoying the moment. 'You're finished yet?' He whispered in her ear. 'Almost yeah', she turned around to face him.

'I look like a mess'. 'No you don't', Alex took her black hat off and threw it into the hay shed. She laughed, while he pulled at her hair. She knew exactly what he wanted, knowing her red curls where a turn on for him. So she loosened her hair and shook her head. 'Nice', he smirked seductive. He swept away a few strings of hair that stuck to her forehead. 'You're sweaty cowgirl'. 'It's hot', she chuckled. 'It sure is'. They leaned from one foot on the other, their arms wrapped tightly around each other.

Alex gentle brushed his lips along hers, like he was playing with them. It made her smile. 'Your lips are so soft', he mumbled against them. 'I could kiss them all day long.' 'What are you waiting for than?' Stevie said playfully, starting to move her lips on his, playing with his under lip between hers. Her finger touched his cheek, running to his mouth when she separated her lips from his. When she touched his mouth he teasingly opened it to take in her finger. 'You taste like hay', he mumbled while her finger left his mouth to run down over his lip.

Her finger lingered to his neck, to the spot between his collarbones, which was slightly wet. Looking at it, she felt the longing to be with him, to make love to him. 'Where's Aislin?' She spoke softly, not looking up into his eyes. She felt his hands caressing her back. 'She's save with Regan and she will be for some time.' 'For some time hey ..' She now gazed into his blue eyes, biting her lip. He nodded, knowing she was getting weaker and weaker in his arms. It was weeks after the birth and he let it totally up to her to show when she was ready. He was near exploding though, to have her so close and not be able to really make love to her. Remembering he only had her for one night and that was a long time ago.

Their faces were close, half looking into each other's eyes, half focusing on their lips. They could feel each other's breathing close, opening their mouths. Only just this was already a major turn on. They gave in and their mouth collapsed together. Her hand, which was crawling through his hair, pulled him close. Their lips hardly parted, while their tongues playing along eagerly, their breathing speeding up with every deep move, holding on to explore each others mouth. His left hand was close to her neck, feeling her hair, while his other hand run down her body, feeling her well shaped small behind.

Stevie could feel her stomach turn, butterflies dancing around, which gave her a noxious feeling. Alex felt completely lost in their kiss, pressing her even closer to his body, feeling the excitement show. He wanted her so badly. She jumped up, her legs spun around his waist, supported by his hand. All of a sudden they heard a coughing noise behind them. They stopped kissing, looked at each other for a sec, while Stevie moved her feet down to the ground. She turned around to see Kate showing a 'sorry to interrupt you guys' face. Alex made sure Stevie kept standing in front of him, and she knew exactly why.

'Sorry for interrupting, but Phil Rakich is on the phone and it's important', Kate said a bit uncomfortable. Stevie hoped the blush on her cheeks would disappear within a sec. 'Oh yeah I was expecting his call, but I thought he would let us wait for another week like he always does.' They stood there for another sec, staring around. 'Yeah I should get the phone', she turned around quickly, putting her hand on Alex' chest, giving him a forced smile. 'Sorry.' 'It's okay, what about me driving the hay to the paddock?' 'Great.' She kissed him quick, before walking away; happily Kate had given them a short private moment. Alex made his way to the front of the truck. When he sat down, he lay his head back, blowing for a moment, trying to think of the strangest things that would make him cool down, though his thoughts kept ending with Stevie.

How he longed for her. Why did he have to have such a hot and sexy fiancée? It was getting this bad that she made him long for her with the tiniest things, not even being aware of how crazy she made him with just running through her hair, or biting her lip, or showing that smile, or just standing before him, while her shirt seemed to be way more showing than normal, or just walking away, wearing that tight jeans. It hardly had taken her weeks to get her old figure back and now that she started to focus on the hard work on the farm again she looked as beautiful as ever to him.

That evening the couple went upstairs. Stevie could feel Alex catch her hand, which made her turn around. He smirked at her. 'We kind of got interrupted this afternoon.' She nodded, gazing in his blue eyes. 'So what about you, me and a bottle of wine, save tonight.' She laughed at him and playfully pushed against his chest. 'What?' He said, pretending to be insulted. 'I thought that sounded cool.' 'Very cool Alex, but I think your daughter is hungry.' Alex' shoulders hung down, defeated. 'I'm hungry too', he mumbled, she walked to the baby room, turning around to see him pout. Shaking her head, she opened the door. Regan sat in the chair with Aislin in her arms. 'See who's there, your mummy. She's gonna feed you!'

'Aww, ain't that cute', Stevie smirked. 'I never thought you would be such a talent with babies, Regan.' 'Me neither, I guess this place is changing me.' She stood up to lay Aislin in Stevie's arms. 'Or your biological clock is ticking, ding, ding', Stevie smiled at her friend. 'Nah not yet, let me practice on Aislin for now.' 'Good'. Stevie sat down in the chair to nurse her baby girl. She kissed her softly on her head. 'See, I knew you were hungry.'

When she finally returned in the bedroom she had wondered where Alex had been. He always kissed his precious daughter goodnight, most of the time not being able to resist telling her a story about horses, or something that just came to mind. When she opened her bedroom door she saw him fast asleep. She shook her head, with a smile. Stevie lie next to him and caressed his hair softly. He looked adorable and she kissed him softly. 'Sweet dreams cowboy'.


	61. Chapter 60: Quirky ways

_Thanks Jet for your review! Nice to be compared to a Zorro story I heart the Legend and the Mask of Zorro_

**Chapter 60 Quirky ways**

'I have a great idea. What if we stay at Killarney tomorrow and the day after?' Alex looked questioning at her. 'And why is that?' 'Well, we have a huge house all for ourselves, privacy, and Aislin can sleep in her other room.' In all those weeks they hardly spend any time at Killarney. Drovers was just way easier for the young family, with always someone around to look after Aislin. 'Okay, but I do hope she will sleep well there. And I have to get my wedding dress tomorrow morning so Regan and I will be back in the afternoon.'

Alex kissed her quick. It was still early in the morning and he was about to leave to work at his own property. 'I will work my butt off today, so I have tomorrow afternoon off and maybe the day after. How does that sound?' Alex asked. 'Oh please no.' He gave her an odd look, while Kate and Moira looked up from the kitchen table. She put on an evil grin. 'I like your butt this way.' Alex sighed, sometimes she could be so adorable annoying. Kate giggled. Alex, gave her a look; 'Nice one Steves, I think only Aislin deserved a kiss.'

He placed a kiss on Aislin's forehead, mumbling something to her. He looked at Stevie who simply gazed away. She didn't even beg for a kiss. 'Okay, well I'm off, can get late tonight.' Slightly disappointed he turned around and walked out of the kitchen. 'Poor man', Moira stated, 'you know how to torture your man, do you Stevie?' Stevie grinned. 'No worries, will get some extra fencing line at Killarney later.' 'Okay', Kate said, 'I have made a list with the last few things for the wedding.' 'I thought that was Regan's job', Stevie said, sitting down on the chair in front of her, holding her baby tight. 'Yah but she knows I'm good with lists.' 'You sure are', Moira grinned, taking a swig of her coffee. 'In that case, can you make a list with things we need for Rose to move in?' 'Okay, no probs, boss.'

'You're sure you don't wanna live at Killarney?' Moira asked. Stevie slightly raised her shoulders. 'We still haven't decided. There's so much to do now. And I know it will get crowded here and Killarney is huge, but Alex isn't keen on really living there as a family.' 'Too many memories hey', Moira said, while Kate was focused on her list. Stevie nodded. 'No one was ever really happy there, so ... but here ... I love this place, but to really stay here with Alex, Aislin and Rose? We hardly have room for it. Maybe Grace should move to the room at the back? And what if Nick and Tess decide to come back.' 'Don't worry, you will find a way.' 'Or maybe Wilgul', Stevie said, remarking that wasn't a bad idea after all. The perfect place to start a family.

'Oy handsome groom', Stevie shouted, closing her car door. Alex looked up, repairing the hay machine. With big steps she walked up to him. 'Eww, you look dirty.' Alex smirked, brushing his hands off on his singlet. 'I thought you loved dirty men?' 'Well I already have one with a dirty mind, so ...' Alex looked teasingly at her. He would get her back, so he quickly grabbed her waist. 'Oh no Alex!' He pulled her close. 'You're right about that dirty mind. Time to get you dirty.' His fingers covered with liniment ran across her cheek. 'Yuk!' 'Aww see how cute that looks'. She rolled her eyes. 'Any chance of you letting me go?' Alex grinned and showed a thoughtful look. 'What do I get?' 'Well, I came here to kiss you and tell you how much I love you, but seeing your behavior, I just came to snag some fencing line.'

'Oh yeah, so you think you will get that with this attitude?' She nodded. 'Cause you can't resist me'. Her smile looked teasingly at him, her finger touching his nose. 'You think that will do the trick?' Her eyes gazed around. 'Okay, one kiss.' She pressed her lips on his and let go.' 'Geesh Steves, I didn't even get the chance to respond. No fencing line for you young lady.' 'Okay', she turned around, let his hands slid of her body and walked back to her Ute. Alex gazed at her. What was she up to today?

She stopped and turned around and just stared at him. 'What now cowgirl?' He shouted. 'I love you!' Riley walked around the corner and saw the couple standing there, many meters between them. 'I love you too Steves', he teasingly shouted, getting the attention of both. 'You guys have strange ways', he concluded, now looking at Stevie. 'Nice make-up.' She remembered within a sec what Alex had just done and rubbed her cheeks, slightly annoyed and embarrassed. 'I need fencing line Riley', she all of a sudden said. Alex was flabbergasted. 'No way', Stevie shot him an 'I'm smarter than you' stare as Riley said; 'Okay, I'll walk you to it.' Stevie followed Riley and Alex swept his forehead. That would be his wife. He shook his head, thinking.

When Stevie returned carrying some fencing line in her hand she didn't see Alex. It was quiet and she wondered where he was. He wasn't mad at her, was he? She lay the fencing line in the back of her Ute, stepped inside and wanted to start the engine when she noticed the car key was gone. She sighed annoyed. 'Bloody Alex.' She heard him laugh. 'Looking for something Steves?' She got out and saw him leaning against one of the posts of the house. 'Where is it?' 'Dunno. Maybe you should look.' His arms were folded and she figured he probably kept it in one of his hands but before she could grab one he raised his arms up and of course there was no way she could get near them.

She tried to pull his arm down, but he just laughed. 'Alex!' 'What Stevie?' 'Arggghhh, come on I have work to do.' 'Yeah searching your key.' She stood still and crossed her arms as a statement. 'I won't join you tomorrow.' His expression changed immediately. 'No Steves, that's blackmail, you can't do that.' His hands were down. 'Give it!' 'No', Alex said, recovering himself. He opened his hands, empty. She let out another annoyed sigh. 'Come on, where do you have it? Otherwise I will do something with the car cords, get it to start anyway.' 'It's not far away, just search.'

She looked him up and down, took a step closer to search his front pockets. Alex smirked; noticing her concluding the key wasn't in there. Her hands moved to his back, feeling his key in one of his back pockets. Just when she took it Alex wrapped his arms around her. She licked her lips, gazing away. 'And now you won't let me go, do you?', she calmly said. 'You're right', he whispered against her hair. She gave up and leaned her body against his, she was dirty already anyway. 'See, was that so hard?' She looked up and started to kiss him, she felt his hands moving up, pulling her face close and she knew she got him right where she wanted him. With one move she broke the kiss and turned away. 'Love yah Alex', she smirked as she ran to the car door.


	62. Chapter 61: Different

**Chapter 61 Different**

The next day at Killarney ...

After diner, which seems to be pretty much of a success, they had laid Aislin in her crib upstairs with the baby phone next to her. Sitting down on the couch in the living room they looked a bit uncomfortable at each other. 'So', Alex said, 'finally some quality time for us all alone.' Stevie nodded, but gazed in front of her. Alex stared at her. 'You're okay?' She turned her head immediately. 'Yeah yeah, it's just ... it's different.' 'It sure is', Alex moved closer and lay his arm around her.

'Now just relax.' Stevie almost laughed. 'Gosh Alex.' 'What?' 'I dunno it's just ... we're getting married, we have a daughter and this is just strange.' He gave her an odd look. 'It's a bit forced', she spoke softly. 'I'm not even doing anything. We don't do anything if you don't want to.' She stared in his blue eyes and started to shake her head. 'This is silly. I'm silly.' Alex had to smirk. She obviously was having her strange moment. 'Really it is.'

'You're so turning me on with this talk Steves', he said playfully, moving his arm back to start playing with her hair. 'Sorry', she looked a bit down. 'Don't be', he said sweetly, placing his other hand under her chin to make her look up. They gazed into each other's eyes. 'You're a bit tired', he remarked. She softly smiled at him. 'What if we just go to bed?' Alex asked. Stevie could see in his eyes he was serious about it and didn't have the intention to push her in any way, so she agreed.

'Just make yourself comfy, I will check on Aislin', Alex said while Stevie stood in his bedroom. She was smiling to herself, kicking her boots off and lay down, pulling the sheets half over her. Alex walked back in and saw her smiling softly at him. He lay down, leaned a bit over her. 'Comfy enough?', he asked caressing her cheek. She nodded a bit shy. He placed a kiss on her hair. He saw her smile grow and moved closer to kiss it.

Her arms reached for him and pulled him close. Being in his arms was always her favorite place. She kissed him back and a second later they slowly started to kiss, just enjoying each other's lips, going on for minutes. 'This is nice', she whispered against his lips. 'It sure is.' He moved on top of her and started to kiss her again, deeply, passionate, but mostly gentle. The sheets were having a hard time lying between them.

Alex moved his lips of her mouth and kissed her cheek and moved to her neck. Her fingers were softly brushing his back and neck. 'I love you Alex', she whispered. Alex looked up and she could see the twinkle in his eyes. 'I love you too.' He pulled the sheets slightly away and moved his hands to her shirt, starting to loosen the buttons. 'Alex', she said slowly. 'Yeah', Alex didn't look up. 'Can you move up?' He immediately looked at her, raising his upper body by leaning his hands on the bed, hearing his daughter ...

**Will be continued ...**


	63. Chapter 62: Love me just a little bit

**Chapter 62 Love me just a little bit more**

'Where were we?', Alex said with a low and soft voice, a stare that could melt her heart. Stevie felt his hands around her waist, his fingertips softly playing with the skin. A bit shy she looked up at him. 'Not far, that's what I know', he heard her whisper. 'We must do something about that', he mumbled against her lips, brushing them.

A firm second touch made their mouths open up, entangling in a strong and passionate kiss. Their bodies pressed together tightly as a third response. Alex had tried the slow way, but now he couldn't hold himself back. His hands slid fast up and down her body, her shirt finally pulling up, the last buttons jumped apart. Her undershirt was the next victim.

She breathed heavy against him, hardly able to open her eyes and really see him. She just wanted to feel him, feel him closer, longing for him. She wasn't capable of getting his shirt off, but Alex was eager to help. Their naked upper bodies were breathing deeply against each other. Their mouths melted together, as a playground for their lusty tongues. Her fingers tried to touch every part of his naked back, his shoulder and arm, so strong and muscular. When her hands moved down and touched his jeans, she felt the shape of his bum, pushing is hard against her stomach. He let out a deep moan, not able to keep in contact with the deep kiss.

He moved slightly back, feeling her hands trail to his front, dealing with his belt. Her finger tips brushing along the skin just above his jeans. Alex let out a sigh before looking down, starting to caress her breasts. She had loosened his dark belt and gazed at him, her lips formed a playful smile, making it too hard for him to resist. His lips pressed tightly on hers, while his hands moved down to his jeans, opening the zipper. Her hands lay on his to move the piece of light denim down his legs.

He bended down and kissed her shoulder, moving to her collarbone, while his hands took possession of her tight fitting jeans. She moaned softly on the breathing of her body, opening her eyes seeing her baby's crib. Her fingers where playing with his hair and she stared. 'Alex', she murmured. He could hear her whisper his name twice, close to his ear. 'We can't do it here'.

'Let's get back to our bed room', Alex said softly when he turned around and saw what she meant. Stevie slipped out of the room. 'Wait', Alex said quickly trying to get his jeans off his legs. He almost fell, which made Stevie chuckle. 'Shhh', Alex gave her a stare, hoping it wouldn't wake Aislin. That was the last thing he wanted.

'Oh poor boy', Stevie grinned, stroking his hair, when they made it to the corridor. 'Don't laugh at me, you will regret it', Alex remarked playfully, giving her a cheeky grin before kissing her. 'What you gonna do?', she whispered between kisses. He gave her a deep kiss to shut her up. He bended and grabbed her legs, pulling her up over his shoulder. She started laughing and pulled at his boxers. He carried her to their bedroom. 'You're like a cave man Alex', Stevie joked.

'Me want woman', Alex said with a low groaning voice. He lay a laughing Stevie on the bed and crawled up on her. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she showed him a seductive smile, her lip playfully between her teeth. He placed a soft quick kiss upon her smile, before she pulled him close again and kissed him deeply. They started to breath a shared rhythm, while their bodies joined it, longingly.

Alex broke off the kiss and gazed at her. Her eyes stared twinkling at him, passion and love shone through and he kissed her gently on her forehead. 'You're everything if ever wanted'. She got weak inside; his soft words and voice reached her heart. Stevie felt the aching of her body becoming immense. 'Make love to me Alex'. She could already feel his hands slid down her body, while she let her legs go. While kissing her belly button, his fingers opened her belt in one move. His magical touch made her breath heavy and she moaned softly as he played her and shove her jeans off. His hand palms moving down her legs in a slow, torturing speed that made her long for him even more.

He glared at her, realizing how beautiful she was. How perfect every part of her seemed. It was perfect, perfect to him. He moved up again, kissing her passionately with eagerness that hadn't showed before. Her hands trailed down his back, to his sides, feeling every muscle pass her fingers. He was so strong, but at the same time so sweet. He tasted like chocolate and all she wanted was more. Her fingers played with his boxers when a soft crying reached her ears. Her body was still fully anticipated on every move Alex made, but her head was now fully aware of her daughter's crying.

Her kiss got less strong, trying to break her lips from his, so hard to really do it. But her mother instinct started to cry out loud; including her daughter and when Alex gazed at her to see what was going on he finally seemed to hear it too. Within a sec disappointment washed over his face. He grumbled something, but she placed her finger on his lips. 'Shhh ... I'll go.' Defeated he rolled off her. She placed a kiss on his upper arm, giving him a last look when she walked out the room.


	64. Chapter 63: Return of McLeod

**Chapter 63 Return of McLeod**

Stevie and Alex were at the back of Drovers; Alex was leaning against the fencing while Aislin was half asleep in the babysit on his chest. 'Now you can be quiet, hey little one', Alex spoke softly to his daughter. Stevie was cleaning the small horse paddocks, while Alex simply watched her work. Though the peaceful smile upon his daughter's face keep distracting him. She moved softly. 'You're so peaceful when your daddy is carrying yah, hey', he whispered before he kissed the top of her head. 'So you can keep your mummy and daddy awake during the night.' Alex nodded agreeing with his own words. Stevie just heard him chat to his daughter, it made her smile. 'But if you want a baby brother or sister soon than you should change that habit. And besides that you frustrate your old man.' He could hear Stevie chuckle as Alex was speaking serious to Aislin, who didn't really seem to care.

Stevie turned and walk to him. 'I don't think she gets that Alex.' 'Uhm', he let out sounding disappointed. 'It would be nice if she would understand.' 'Awww', Stevie said as she touched his face, seeing his almost pouting lips. 'You're almost just as cute as Ace when you act like this.' She kissed his cheek. Alex looked at his fiancée, bending down as she tried to avoid touching the sleeping baby. Stevie kissed him tenderly on his lips, keep pressing kisses on them as her hand moved around her waist.

'You still want to hold on to the 'no sex before marriage' principal?', Alex let out between kisses. She ruffled through his hair. Stevie had kinda come up with the idea after Aislin kept interrupting their loving moments and she thought it had something special. She nodded. 'You're sure, cause I don't think anyone will believe us not have sex before our wedding night with this little one', Alex slightly chuckled. 'Well, that was just one night.' 'Yeah keep reminding me', he rolled his eyes. 'And you think it's easy for me?', Stevie said while she gave him another kiss. 'I just want our second first time to be special and not interrupted.' Alex sighed; 'Yeah I know.' 'And it's only one week to go.' 'I will count down the days, the hours, the minutes, even the seconds.' Stevie laughed at him when her eyes fall upon two people.

Her mouth fell open, as Alex turned around to face them too, shocked. 'Hi guys', the blonde curled woman said, like she had just seen them this morning. 'JODES!' A huge smile appeared on the four faces. 'Can't believe it, is that really you?', Stevie yelled as she rushed to her friend. Rob walked half behind Jodi, as calm as always but locking eyes with Alex within a sec. The two girls hugged each other tightly as Alex and Rob walked to them. 'I can't believe it. Where have you been? We thought you two were ...' Tears rolled down her face of shock and happiness. The same for the blonde McLeod. 'I'm so sorry, we had to. Disappearing was the only way to stay alive. If we would call maybe you guys would get in danger, we didn't want that.' 'It's all about the witness program', Rob exclaimed as his arm patted on Alex' back. 'Who's that little one?' Jodi looked up from another hug of Stevie, seeing the little creature Alex was carrying.

Stevie looked up at Alex with a proud face. 'She's Drovers latest gain.' 'What?' Jodi looked with open mouth to Alex and Stevie. 'It's a long story', Alex said as he pulled Stevie close. 'But she is ours.' Jodi's eyes got big. 'Oh my God, when did that happen? I mean, she's ..., how old is she?' 'Almost two months', Stevie proudly smiled, 'but she was born early.' 'Oh my she's beautiful', Jodi stated as she almost pressed herself against Alex to see the baby. 'Yeah they say she looks like me', Alex chuckled. 'Yeah right', Jodi gave him a quick look. 'Good to have you back too Jodes', Alex said amused.

There started to come a zillion of questions out of Jodi's mouth when they walked to the main house. Alex and Stevie hardly had the chance to ask her something so Alex decided Rob would be a better option. 'But you are staying now, aren't you?' Stevie finally asked. 'Yes well I just wanted to check on you guys and visit mum the upcoming days.' 'Well you have to be quick', Stevie smirked, 'cause she and Terry will come over within a few days, so will Tess, Nick and little Claire.' Jodi looked questioning. 'Alex and I are going to get married next week', Stevie smiled widely. 'Oh my God, really?' Jodi squealed out. Stevie just nodded amused with Jodi's facial expression.


	65. Chapter 64: The secret

**64. The secret**

It was the night before the wedding day. The buck and hen's parties were settled for this evening, so they started early to at least be clear for the big day. It was crowded at Killarney's cottage. The guys mostly drank, while the groom and his best man tried to keep sober. It wasn't the perfect setting for Alex, but he didn't mind that much. He knew what tomorrow would bring and that was worth any sacrifice. Although he must admit Dave's stories were very much over the top as he finished one with an awful song.

'Too much beer for you Brewer', Alex said patting the bloke on his back. Dave, slightly dazed, looked up at his old mate. 'Awww, Alex, didn't yah miss me?' Alex gave him his well-known look. 'A lot mate, a lot', he mumbled. 'But I have to say big guy, this buck's party is way better than last time, yeah', he took another sip of his beer. 'That's probably cause last time we ran out of beer. You so gonna have a hang over tomorrow. Remember it's the big day.' Dave nodded. 'Yeah, yeah, but it's late in the afternoon, I will manage.'

Bryce was quiet. He mostly observed the room with the younger blokes mumbling about the strangest things. 'Where is that bloody stripper!', Dave shouted through the room. 'We don't have one', Marcus quickly said serious to the older Brewer. 'What? No stripper? What a lame party', he now said, changing his opinion. 'Really Alex', he leaned to the tall guy, 'what's a party without a stripper? Can't yah call Stevie.' A sheepish grin showed upon his face. Alex shook amused his head. 'You would like that, hey Brewer, checking out my woman. I can tell, that won't happen!' Dave stood still, straight, with a dumb disappointed face. 'Hey Pat, can you collect that brother of yours?' Alex now asked the younger Brewer. 'You think I can, Alex?', Pat said smirking.

The party slowly came to an end. Bryce was pacing slightly around before he finally called Alex. 'Alex', he asked his son to come to him with his hand. 'I would like to have a chat with you and Marcus.' 'Me and Marcus?' Alex frowned. 'Yeah, in private', he almost ordered in his lawyer way. 'Marcus!', Alex shouted, seeing the blonde bloke join them a moment later. The two younger guys followed Bryce outside, without having a clue what this was all about.

'I can tell I made the right decision a year ago', Bryce started calmly. Alex and Marcus gave each other a look before turning towards the older man again. 'It's good to see you have found your best man in Marcus, Alex', Bryce now let out, looking from one man to the other. He paused for a moment. 'Come on Bryce, what's this all about?', Alex nod his head, while he slightly annoyed licked his lips. 'Okay, I will tell you. I didn't just send Marcus as an overseer cause of my share in Killarney. I wanted you two to bond.' 'What?' Alex said frowning. 'What are you talking about?', Marcus demanded, having the same look in his eyes as Alex.

'I wanted you ...', Bryce now completely focused on the younger guy, ' ... to have someone around who would understand.' He quickly made a gesture with his hand to make clear no interruption was needed. 'Alex is your brother Marcus. You're my son.' It sounded almost business like as Bryce announced it, but for his sons his announcement exploded like a bomb. Marcus stood frozen to the ground. 'What are you saying?' Alex said with rage in his eyes. 'It's true, Marcus is your half-brother. His mother and I had an affair'. His oldest son let out a sarcastic laugh and wanted to yell at him, but saw Marcus in the corner of his eye, breathing heavy.

'You tell me you knew this all along, that mother knew this all along?' Marcus now asked, more stated. 'I found out after your mother got sick Marcus', Bryce said, still with a calm voice. 'She told me, she wanted me to take care of you when she died.' 'Why didn't she tell me?' For all Marcus knew was that his father had left him and his mother, as he was still a baby and last year his mother had passed away. 'She wanted you to know, but only when the time was right.' 'Right?', Marcus now started to yell, 'Right?! I'm thirty years old.' Alex could see his newfound brother's blood boiling, not understand anything from his parents' lie and Alex recognized every part. He quickly held Marcus back as he wanted to attack Bryce.

'It's no use', Alex exclaimed, 'he's not worth it'. Alex had to keep his calm for Marcus. Marcus shook his head, as tears of rage and disbelieve settled in his eyes. 'Go inside', Alex ordered. Marcus glanced at his brother, while his words slowly got through. 'Just go to Nick, promise'. Alex knew at least Nick could look after Marcus for now. The blonde guy made his way into the house as Alex kept staring at Bryce. 'Who do you think you are?! You all planned this? Why didn't you tell us right away, why now?' His words sounded loud, harsh, as he pressed his teeth together to keep in the rage.

'I wanted you to know before the wedding. I wanted you to know your best man is also your brother. You needed time to bond, not forced', Bryce replied. Alex blew and caught Bryce's jacket and pushed him against the wall. Shaking his head, while breathing heavy he stared down at his old man. 'How can you do this to Marcus? You wanted us to bond, while you keep me away from my sisters! How many siblings do I have?! Did you fuck the whole town!?' He yelled it right into his face, blaming, feeling the urge to hit his father right on his jaw. 'Alex', Bryce tried to keep his calm, but knowing his son would get aggressive. 'Think about tomorrow, it's no use.' Alex kept blowing, staring at Bryce while keeping him tight. 'You're a bloody bastard, Bryce!' He smacked his father against the wall again while he let go. 'Stay away from Marcus, stay away from me and my family. We don't need you!'

He walked back into the house with big steps, finding Nick. 'What's going on?' 'That bastard of a father of mine just tells finely that Marcus is his son.' Alex' body almost shook. 'What did you do to him?' Nick asked immediately, still seeing Alex' eyes full of anger. 'Nothing, I send him away. No way he will ruin my wedding day. Where is Marcus?' 'He went to his room'.


	66. Chapter 65: Girl talk

**65. Girl talk**

'It's so good to be back', Jodi said, sitting down on the hay. 'But why do we sit in the barn?' She stared at Kate, who smirked. It was great to have her best friend back. She still couldn't believe it. 'It was kinda my idea, cause we are with so many and I thought it would be fun.' 'You still have strange ideas Squirt.' 'I know', Kate said pleased.

Stevie almost started to jump when she saw Grace and Tayler bringing all kinds of chocolate candies. 'This is better than a stripper.' 'Okay, call the stripper off', Tess yelled at Regan. They all sat down on the ground in a circle. 'So what are we gonna do?', Rose asked. 'Truth or dare!', Jodi said immediately. They lay a bottle on the box in the center of the group and started to give it a swing. 'Okay truth or dare?', Regan asked to Jodi. 'Truth!' 'Okay let me think. If you would have to choose one of the men at Alex' party, except from Rob of course, to have a one night stand with, who would it be?' Jodi thought hard, a serious look on her face. Kate poked her. 'Come on Jodes'. 'Hey I'm thinking here.' 'For such questions you don't have to think with your brain Jodi!', Grace shouted.

'Okay, okay, fine; it would be ...', her answer got accompanied with a ruffle, 'Riley.' 'Riley!?', all girls were laughing now. 'What? I think it would be interesting.' Jodi said with an innocent face for once. 'Maybe Stevie could fill you in on ...' But before Regan could finish her line Stevie already had both her hands on Regan's mouth. 'Regs!' Regan gave her a 'what on earth did I do wrong?' look. 'I have a daughter sitting here', Stevie stated. 'Owww ...' 'I'm not sure if I wanna know this', Rose said, knowing exactly were this was heading to. 'No you don't!', Stevie added immediately. 'I'm so glad mum offered to baby-sit Aislin, instead of joining us', Jodi said, looking at Stevie and Rose.

'Maybe I should check on Aislin', Rose said, standing up, brushing the dirt from her jeans. 'Call me back when you have finished this game', she added as she walked out of the barn. 'Smart girl', Tess smirked to Stevie. Now all eyes were on Stevie. 'What?' 'Riley, hey. I didn't know you two ...', Grace had to fight her laugh. 'That was a long time ago, nothing interesting to tell.' 'Okay, so we don't have to try him', Jodi concluded. 'And what about Alex?', Grace asked all of a sudden, making all heads turn to Stevie again.

Stevie almost started to blush, so as Tess noticed it she decided to jump in. 'He's talented, but that runs it the family', she grinned. 'What?', Stevie said, 'You two? You never told me that, neither did Alex!' Tess was surprised her redheaded friend didn't know, but waved it away. 'That was ages ago, when I just showed up on Drovers. Nothing serious, just fun.' Stevie shot Tess a strange amused look. 'So, is he?' Grace tried to get back to the subject. Stevie thought. 'Why do you have to think about that one?' Jodi asked. Stevie now started to smile in herself, getting even more asking looks. 'Cause it's been a year ago.' 'WHAT?!'

Stevie tried to calm the girls down, who seemed to start talking to any and everyone. 'We're waiting for the wedding night.' 'That is so cute', Kate squealed. 'And Aislin?', Jodi asked, definitely feeling she missed out a lot being away for a year. 'You could call that a one night stand.' 'You're kidding?', she continued, 'I'm here for two days and you two can't keep your hands of each other, half of the time you can't talk to me cause Alex claims your lips, and you are know telling me you only did it once?', She was totally flabbergasted and the others had to giggle about the look on Jodi's face.

'Not exactly once, but that doesn't mean we didn't do anything. He's talented it many ways', Stevie added with a high voice, a wide smile on her face. She than let out a sigh. 'I wish it was tomorrow.' 'I betcha, here take some chocolate!', Regan said, offering her a plate full with chocolate snacks.


	67. Chapter 66: Stay the night

**66. Stay the night**

While Regan, Stevie and Moira were spending some minutes in the kitchen before going to bed Alex had made his decision to leave Killarney. After a short talk with Marcus he simply wanted to be with his future wife. It was against the rules, but he didn't care at all. The announcement Bryce had made had affected both brothers a lot. Alex made his way to Drovers Run late in the evening; the darkness and silence had made him sad. All he wanted was to be with the family he wanted. From his own history he knew Marcus needed time alone, or maybe he could ask Regan to check on him to be completely sure.

When he stepped into the kitchen the three women immediately looked at him, surprised and wondering what was going on. Alex' face made clear there had happened something and Stevie felt her heart skip a beat. She was scared for what he was going to say. 'Alex, what are you doing here?', she asked, reaching for him to catch his arm. He sighed, looking at her, sharing quick glances with Moira and Regan. 'Can we go to the study?'

All kinds of thoughts ran through Stevie's mind, her heartbeat speeding up. Was there something wrong? Was this about the two of them? 'Alex, tell me, what's wrong?' she demanded, not willing to stay any longer with these unsure thoughts in her mind. The door closed and Alex gazed at her, seeing those asking eyes. 'Don't worry', he stated. 'It's Bryce .. well it's me, Marcus; we're brothers.' 'What?' Stevie said overwhelmed with his quick words. 'Marcus is Bryce's son, he told us tonight. He had planned this all, and he wanted us to know for tomorrow.' Alex shook his head, still not sure what to think of it all. He was mad at his own man, he was worried about Marcus and glad, glad to know he was his brother.

'Are you okay?', Stevie asked, rubbing his arm gently. He nodded, although she could tell it was playing constantly on his mind; like he wasn't fully with her. 'And Marcus?' 'He's okay, he's just in his room, trying to understand I guess. I dunno what to do for him.' 'Shall I ask Regan to check on him?' Stevie said, moving closer. He nodded. 'But let him tell herself. All he wants is something real now.' She gave him a soft smile. 'Why don't you visit your daughter. I will ask Regan if she wants to check on Marcus. Okay?' 'Yes, good.' He blinked with his eyes; the whole evening seemed so unreal. She left him slightly dazed.

'Is everything okay?' Regan asked when Stevie entered the kitchen. 'Uhm, I hope so. Can you go to Marcus?' 'Why?' Regan tried to see in her friend's eyes what was wrong. 'He might appreciate it. There happened something, but I guess it's better for him to tell', Stevie now calmly spoke. The situation was strange. She had gone through it as parent, while Alex and Marcus were affected as being the child, which made it hard for her to deal with it. 'Uhm yeah', Regan just said, totally unsure what to do next. Somehow all of a sudden going to Marcus wasn't that easy. 'Go', Stevie pushed her. 'He will be all right. Don't worry, really.' 'And you, and Alex?' Regan said, turning her face before Stevie would push her outside. 'We'll be fine, I guess.' Regan gave her a last nod.

When Stevie got upstairs she found Alex with Aislin in his arms, sitting in bed. She smiled softly at him. 'Regan is to Killarney.' 'Good', he quietly spoke, looking at his daughter, so peaceful. She sat next to him. 'At least she will always know who her real parents are', Alex just stated, his thumb softly caressing Aislin's cheek. Stevie sat closer, leaning against his arm. She reached with her fingers to his hair, softly playing with it right under his ear. It was a way to distract herself, to relax next to him. He gently leaned in to her touch as he started to talk. 'I've send him away.' He looked at her. 'Bryce ...', he added. 'I don't want him to be part of our wedding.' Stevie softly nodded, not sure if it had any use saying something about it. 'If you don't mind, I wanna stay here tonight'. 'Oh no', Stevie shook her hand. '... no problem. If you don't feel like spending the night at Killarney.' 'I just wanna be with you and Aislin, you are all that counts ... well I'm gonna lay Ace back in her crib', Alex said, gently moving of the bed as Stevie followed his moves. She thought about what to say, what to do to ease Alex' mind.

When he returned Alex switched off the main lights and lay in bed. He kissed her gently on her temple. 'If you wanna talk about it?', she softly spoke. Alex started to tell more about the evening. 'But it doesn't matter', he finally stated. 'It does', Stevie pulled his face close. 'It does. You're not here cause it doesn't matter.' 'I know, I just don't know what to think of it. I feel for Marcus. He can't ask his mother about anything anymore, he just has Bryce. Well I never really bond with him, so why would he?' She rubbed his chin gently. 'But he has you.' Alex nodded. 'He would have me anyway, he's my mate.' Alex stared in front of him, feeling Stevie's fingers caress his face.

He remembered the moment he had found out Harry wasn't his father. So many things had happened since than. 'Come here', she said, noticing his absent staring. She pulled him close, her arms around him. She kissed his hair quickly. 'It's gonna be okay.' 'I know', he whispered. 'He has Regan, he has us.' He could feel her nod on his shoulder. 'That's all that matters.' She moved back and looked him straight in his eyes. 'We'll be fine and from tomorrow on we are a real family.' She could see the corners of his mouth raising. 'We will, the big day is tomorrow and I'm in my bride's bed.' 'We never did anything by the rules Alex', she smirked.

'Remind me why you invented that wedding night rule?', he raised his eyebrows teasingly. Stevie had to laugh. 'It will be special Alex, just like us.' 'Oh yeah now I know. At least I can hold you in my arms tonight.' They moved further under the sheets to lay down, facing each other. With soft smiles they kept staring into each other eyes like a special connection was building up. In the meantime his hand massaged the skin just above her hip. She finally pressed her body tightly against his, reaching for his lips. 'You will be mine for the rest of our lives, Stevie', Alex whispered before she kissed him tenderly. 'Completely yours', she added after.


	68. Chapter 67: For eternity

**67. For eternity**

It was still early when Alex woke up. Stevie was still in dreamland and lying on his arm, he smiled softly looking at her. Today was the big day, their wedding day. And although he could lie here with her for the rest of the day he wanted to do it the right way. He gentle placed a kiss on her temple, pulling his arm away in the hope it wouldn't wake her. She moved, searching his warmth when he stood next to the bed. She was so cute, he remarked in his mind. He wrote a small not; _My sweetest delight and wife to be, I will be that tall, dark and handsome man waiting for you in front of the altar. I can't wait to take you as my wife. Love Alex._

Alex went immediately back to Killarney, first to have a chat with his best man. 'Oy, you start good Alex with spending the night before the wedding with your fiancée.' 'Yeah yeah', Alex mumbled, trying to be annoyed, but he was mostly glad to see Marcus being okay. 'Thanks mate for sending Regan over last night', Marcus said patting his brother on the shoulder. 'You have to thank Stevie for that. You're okay?' 'Yeah, as far as can be, but today we focus on you and Stevie. You're nervous?' 'A bit, but I first will take a shower and prepare.'

'Oh my God', Rose squealed. 'You look absolutely amazing!' Stevie smile was huge, looking at her daughter, who in her eyes was surely as beautiful as she was. 'The dress is just beautiful. It's like it was made just for you.' 'It's not hard with your mother's figure', Regan smiled, stroking her own dress as Jodi made the final attempt to let Stevie's hair be as perfect as possible. 'Well, I would say your ready as can be', Jodi concluded while she let Stevie turn a bit to watch her.

'Oh I'm so nervous', Stevie breathed in heavy while her hands were trembling. 'Mum, your beautiful, Alex will be blown away', Rose said calmly. 'But what if I forget my vow?' Stevie now made herself even more nervous. 'Okay', Regan took her friend's hands in hers. 'Listen Stevie, if that happens just speak from your heart. You will know what to say when you look in his eyes.' Stevie almost started to get teary. 'Awww Regan, thank you.' She hugged her friend. 'But I do have the tendency to get lost in his eyes', she quickly added while she still held Regan. 'Than you will just quickly look at me', the McLeod smirked.

The backyard of Drovers was perfectly set. All the guests had arrived and taken their seats and Alex was standing in the front, Marcus right next to him. 'Come on Steves', he mumbled. Marcus pushed him slightly and smirked. 'She will come, don't worry.' Alex glared aside him, feeling the excitement of the moment running through his veins. 'Thanks, bro', he teasingly let out, although his nerves suppressed his smirk.

Stevie, Regan and Rose were standing still out of side. 'Let me watch my girls for a moment', Stevie said glaring to Rose, stroking her face quickly, mumbling how beautiful she was. After that she touched Aislin's cheek, quietly in the arms of Auntie Regan, wearing a cute little dress perfectly suiting her mums. 'Come on, don't let the groom wait too long', Regan said.

Regan McLeod put one foot in front of the other, seeing all people glaring at her and little Ace. Alex' eyes were glued to his baby daughter, full of pride, a huge smile on his face. Regan looked at Marcus, a soft smile kept coming his way. When Stevie made her entrance Alex' mouth almost fell open. God, she looked beautiful. With a slight shy expression, but a sweet smile Rose guided her down the aisle.

'You may now say your vows. Alex', he could hear the minister say. Alex gazed back to Stevie; it was hard to take his eyes of her and to follow every word the minister said. He took a deep breath, licking his upper lip taking her hand in his. 'Dear Stevie ...' She could see the tension on his face when he started, but soon it seemed to come natural. '... words can't express how I feel today, how you make me feel. Somehow you always believed in me, gave me chances I probably didn't even deserve.'

He looked serious. 'I never felt this way and I can't believe you, the woman of my dreams, are standing here in front of me to take me as your husband. Whatever happens I know our love is stronger than anything. My love, the mother of my children, my best mate, my everything. I love you with my whole heart. You've stolen it to cherish it forever.' He raised his arm to touch his chest with the palm of his heart. 'Love you cowgirl', he softly whispered along with it.

Tears were falling down her cheeks, and although Alex felt the urge to brush them away her huge smile told him not to. 'Stevie', the minister asked. She blew out, for a moment waving her hand in front of her to calm down from Alex' touching words. It caused laughter among the guests. 'Alex, my dear Alex. I dreamt of this moment so many times and now it's real, it's better than any dream. And it was worth every moment of hurt, cause in the end it made us stronger and love you even more. You are everything I've ever wanted. You have my heart, my soul and my body; for eternity.' She swallowed before showing him her gorgeous smile, feeling a soft pinch in her hand.

'Alexander Marion Ryan will you take Stevie Jade Hall to be your lawful wife, will you love her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep only unto her so long as you both shall live.'

'I would be honored', Alex almost chuckled.

'Stevie Jade Hall will you take Alexander Marion Ryan to be your lawful husband, will you love him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep only unto him so long as you both shall live.

'Yes I do.'

'May we have the rings?' Regan showed them as Alex took Stevie's ring. He smiled tenderly at her as he took her hand to speak the ring vow. 'Stevie, this ring I give you, my personal gift and my personal promise, of love and trust, and pride that you are my wife.' He shifted the ring gently on her finger, looking up in her beautiful brown eyes right after. 'Alex, this ring I give you, my personal gift and my personal promise, of love and trust, and pride that you are my husband.' She struggled with the ring, which hardly fitted around Alex' big finger and was relieved it finally suited.

'I now pronounce you to be husband and wife. You may kiss the bride'. Alex smiled grew like never before. 'Where shall I begin', he smirked. 'Let me', Stevie grinned pulling his face close with her hands; opening her mouth to kiss him deeply. He eagerly joined what ended in a very passionate kiss. 'Oh gosh', Rose let out, holding her baby sister, 'did they already made a start with their wedding night? He he finally...', she added grinning as the couple finally let go.

The first dance started. 'You're beautiful Stevie', Alex whispered as he led her on the dance floor.

_If I had to live my life without you near me  
The days would all be empty  
The nights would seem so long  
With you I see forever oh so clearly  
I might have been in love before  
But it never felt this strong  
Our dreams are young and we both know  
They'll take us where we want to go  
Hold me now, touch me now  
I don't want to live without you _

Nothing's gonna change my love for you  
You ought to know by now how much I love you  
One thing you can be sure of  
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you  
You ought to know by now how much I love you  
The world may change my whole life through  
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy  
Our love will lead the way for us  
Like a guiding star  
I'll be there for you if you should need me  
You don't have to change a thing  
I love you just the way you are  
So come with me and share the view  
I'll help you see forever too  
Hold me now, touch me now  
I don't want to live without you

Glenn Medeiros – Nothing's gonna change my love for you


	69. Chapter 68: A torturing day

**68. A torturing day**

It had been the lamest reason to come up with, just simply to be alone. They watched their baby girl sleeping peacefully in her crib. Rose had laid her down for a nap after the ceremony and now the party was fully going on the couple had sneaked away. Of course with the excuse to check on their baby. But within a few seconds they left the baby room to walk towards their bedroom. 'I've seen you glancing at me Mr. Ryan', Stevie said teasing before they entered the room, her first. 'I couldn't help myself Mrs. Ryan'. Alex showed her a smirk, his hands relaxed in his pockets of his black suit.

There were meters between the two and Stevie observed him. He looked so damn fine in his black suit, showing her that playful light smirk on his face. Blue eyes that clearly showed how big the plans were in his mind. She just knew he was undressing her with his eyes. She could see his gaze trail down her body, when he wetted his lip she gazed longingly back. The left side of her lower lip between her teeth, holding a smile that showed perfectly fine how pleased she was with the view in front of her. She let out a soft sigh, a sigh that Alex' ears gave the full attention. He wanted her to sigh, to moan, and to completely have her. Like she said in her vow; he had her heart, her soul and her body; for eternity. There was nothing he wanted more and he wanted it now.

He simply couldn't wait till tonight, their wedding night. He had waited so long and she was so beautiful, so sexy, sometimes covered with a layer of innocence. But one look could change it all and when she showed that certain look it made him go wild. Fantasies possessed his mind. To have her, to feel their bodies connect, to be one. She was his wife and somehow it still felt that she didn't completely belong to him.

The night they shared together almost a year ago seemed so far away. It had been perfect and how much he tried to get that ecstatic feeling back Alex knew she was the only one who could give it to him. His wife, the woman of his dreams, the mother of his child, his best mate. She was his everything, but at this moment she mostly was the woman that drove him crazy. Totally, he never had wanted a woman as badly as he wanted her. He gazed up, not willing to see more of her; that broken white dress which showed her every curve so brilliantly. She saw his lips separate from each other and his eyelids closed. He had a hard time.

Stevie had to smile; she knew it, she could tell and she knew exactly how it felt. All she wanted was he, but there was this party going on. They would come search for them and she knew that some of them would make the remark about what they were up to. Yes, the tension had been obvious, obvious for so long, but today it was their highlight. The love that embraced them, the longing to be together. To forget the world and just be as one.

She took a few soft steps towards him, hoping he wouldn't hear it. Her white cowboy boots were brushing along the floor. Her hand slid to his arm, his hand. He could feel it, but didn't change his position. Her hand moved over his, inside his pocket. Her thumb started to caress the skin on the back of his hand; the same constant move. It felt like this move got from his hand, to his body. Alex breathed out to keep his cool. He could feel her breathing fall on his neck. Alex knew her mouth was this close to his skin; her hair was softly caressing his jaw. Stevie could feel his breathing; it was intense, concentrated on every move she made.

They were torturing each other, knowing in the back of their minds they couldn't do this. Not the way they wanted it to be, but they weren't sure if their bodies could fulfill the fantasies in their minds. Her fingers kept caressing the back of his hand with slow moves; almost kneading. She stood on her toes to reach for his face and placed her lips on the corner of his mouth. She moved further, placing his lower lip between her lips, softly massaging it. Alex could feel his stomach turn. He tried to block the arousal that was going through his body. She knew so well how to turn him on. Alex tried to not move his lips, but it was a lost battle anyway. He would give in sooner of later.

Stevie could feel his mouth pressed against hers, firm, his tongue pressing against her upper lip, screaming to let him in and when she did there was an uncontrolled eagerness showing. It was a constant asking for more, her hand pulled his head closer, lower, hard against her lips. So hard it made their teeth join in the battle. Their noses were pressing between their faces. The passion was almost getting on with hurt. His hands, frustrated with her moves, had moved out of his pockets to her waist, sliding lower to feel the curves of her behind, pressing her body against his. He wanted her so badly; she could feel the evidence pressing against her stomach, letting him moan. Their bodies seem to join every move of their mouths and their tongues.

The stairs started to make some noise, people were talking and Stevie realized she heard the voice of her daughter. She didn't want Rose to find them like this; she quickly pulled Alex with her, closer to the door and locked it. Her lips let go of his eager treatment followed with a sigh, her back leaning against the door. She closed her eyes and tried to make her body cool down. Alex was breathing heavy; he knew he had to be silent, but his whole body was struggling. He pressed his lips tightly together, his teeth clinched from frustration. Alex looked at her and his big hand reached for her face. She leaned into his touch immediately, opening her brown eyes. 'We can't do this Alex. We have to wait.' He let out a sigh, knowing she was right.

'Hey Ace do you know where your mummy and daddy are?', they heard Rose say in the corridor. Stevie raised her hand, laying her index finger vertically on her lips to plead Alex to stay quiet. 'They probably are making out somewhere', Jodi filled her in. Stevie rolled her eyes at Alex and couldn't suppress a smile. She knew they were hopeless and everyone knew. That's what you get with such a hen's party. They finally heard footsteps on the stairs, getting downstairs. Stevie rubbed her face. Alex blew out and tried to relax his body. 'They say this has to be the most beautiful day of your life, not the most torturing day', it sounded from under his breath. 'Just a few more hours', she whispered, while Alex moved his face closer to press his now so gentle and soft lips on her cheek.


	70. Chapter 69: The last dance

**_Thanks e1981, but I have to dissapoint you. This story will only have 70 chapters, so I'm almost there. _**

**69. The last dance**

Stevie and Alex made their way back to the crowd. 'Where have you two been?' Rose asked. 'Uhm just having some moment alone ...', Stevie mumbled, pulling at her dress. 'But we are back again so let us dance. Rose, may your step dad ask you for a dance?' He chuckled. The young Hall rolled her eyes. 'Oh please, step dad sounds so ... nah.' 'Well you may call me anything you want', he said as he led her to the dance floor. 'Alex, just Alex', she spoke with a high voice.

'People, May I have your attention, please!', Marcus yelled out with a glass of champagne in his hand. The blonde bloke was standing next to Regan. 'I think it's time for a toast on our newly weds. Stevie, Alex ..', Marcus spoke sincere focusing on the couple who were settling in front of them. 'It's been an honor to be your best man Alex, but it's probably even a bigger honor to have you as my brother.' 'Wait till you get used to it Marcus', Nick yelled from behind. The crowded laughed, while Marcus focused on his brother and wife again.

'And I don't have just a brother, but now I also have a sister-in-law and I probably couldn't think of anyone better. Stevie, that bloke is crazy about you.' Stevie smiled, looking quickly at Alex who pulled her close. 'Regan ...', Marcus softly spoke. She started to speak; 'Stevie, since I've came to Drovers it has changed me, just like you. We both found love; we've both find a home. You two have taken the long road, for sure and Alex if you ever hurt her ...' '... Yeah yeah, you know where to find me.' 'Right! But I know you two are made for each other, so we both wish you all the best, with Rose, with Aislin and maybe more kids to come.' She raised her glass.

Stevie wanted to step to her, but Marcus' words made her stop. 'Just a sec Steves, I know you want to hug my fiancée and get all girly.' You what?' Stevie's eyes grew big. Regan laughed. 'It's true, we're engaged.' 'Alex, did you hear that', she poked him in his ribs. 'Ouch ... yes I heard that Stevie', he mumbled under his breath. 'That is great!', Stevie screamed before she congratulated Regan. Alex took the easy way and patted Marcus on his shoulder. 'Good choice bro'.

'Oh my, when did he ask you, or did you or what?', Stevie bounced from excitement. Regan tried to calm her friend down so she could tell her story without Stevie keep interrupting. 'Well last night, we talked about what happened yesterday and about you guys and all of a sudden he kneeled down and popped the question.' 'Oh my, Alex did you hear that', Stevie once again pushed him. In return Alex wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her from behind. 'Yes I've heard it.' She looked up with a huge smile, feeling him kiss the top of her head.

'So', Marcus said, 'that will make you two girls sisters too.' 'What?!' The both let out, not realizing it before. Alex had to let Stevie go out of his arms, cause she jumped right into Regan's; jumping along. 'We're gonna be family!' The two brothers watched them relaxed, both their hands in their pockets. 'They have their strange ways', Alex said. 'But they are so irresistible', Marcus added to the dark guy's words.

'Okay, before the bride and groom say us goodbye, let's have a last dance.' Alex quickly wrapped his arms around Stevie. 'Did you hear that, the last dance', he smirked kissing her hair. 'Oh gosh, you are pathetic', Stevie smiled at him, pushing him. 'I meant it in a good way, you know. This day has been amazing. It's just perfect.' She gave him a huge smile, pulling him close while the speakers sounded:

_There is no reason, there is no right  
It's crystal clear  
I hear your voice  
And all the darkness disappears  
Every time I look into your eyes  
You make me love you  
Questo inverno finirà  
And I do truly love you  
Fuori e dentro me  
How you make me love you  
Con le sue diffcoltà  
And I do truly love you _

I belong to you, you belong to me  
Forever

Want you  
Baby I want you  
And I thought that you should know  
That I believe  
And you're the wind that's underneath my wings  
I belong to you, you belong to me

Ho camminato su pensieri ripidi  
You're my fantasy  
Per solitudini e deserti aridi  
You're my gentle breeze  
Al ritmo della tua passione ora io vivrò  
And I'll never let you go  
L'amore attraverserò  
You're the piece that makes me whole  
Le onde dei suoi attimi  
I can feel you in my soul  
Profondi come oceaniI will belong forever to you

Stevie was all set to throw the bouquet. All the women were trying to get a good spot. 'Well Regan, it must be you', Marcus shouted. Stevie looked for a last time at the female bunch. 'Rose!! Get out of there!' 'It's just for fun', her daughter yelled back. Stevie rolled her eyes, getting set to throw the bouquet. Screaming accompanied the fight for the flowers. 'I've got it, I've got it', Jodi yelled. 'Ouch!' Alex said, his finger pressed on his ear. 'Is she always that loud?', he just said to Rob. The quiet man couldn't resist; 'Yes she is'. Alex glanced at Rob's smirk. 'I didn't meant that. Why does everyone think I'm like that!'. But before Rob could reply another smirk Jodi threw her arms around him. 'I've got it baby!'

'Jodi's screaming is still echoing in my ear. Ouch', Alex stated when they sat in the carriage. 'Ow poor boy', Stevie teased him. 'I'm serious here', Alex stared at her. 'Of course. I'm so curious what they have done with Wilgul.' 'You are sure about Wilgul, aren't you?', Alex asked. She kissed his cheek. 'I'm very sure, it's the perfect place for our family.' 'I like the sound of that, our family', Alex smiled, pulling her closer.

Anastacia ft. Eros – I belong to you


	71. Chapter 70: Tonight is our night

This is the bad censored version of the wedding night. I maybe will post a M-rated version as one story too, but if you want it right away; feel free to join the SA fanboard (check my profile for the link)

**70. Tonight is our night**

He pulled her up. 'Okay careful, I don't want you to smack my head against the door post', Stevie said. 'Oh you are such a romantic Stevie', Alex pulled a face. 'Just hold on tight ... Not that tight. I still have to breath.' Stevie laughed as he carried her into the bedroom. Both showed big eyes. 'Oh my, look what they have done with it!' Marcus and Regan had changed the empty room into a perfect suite. The white sheets on the bed were covered with red rose petals. The sideboard was filled with a bottle of champagne, glasses and all kinds of chocolates. Alex walked to it, still holding Stevie, who reached for a chocolate. 'You want one?', she asked teasingly. He already opened his mouth, making her laugh with his chewing. 'Wait there is still a bit ...', she moved closer and kissed him. 'Uhmmm ... you taste like chocolate. I like that.'

_Girl relax, let's go slow  
I ain't got nowhere to go  
I'm just gonna concentrate on you_

He gently placed her down as she took the little note of the sideboard. _Dear Mr. And Mrs. Ryan. We hope you will have a perfect wedding night. Breakfast will be served at nine. Enjoy, your best man and woman. PS. Don't do anything we wouldn't do._ 'So cute', Stevie let out. 'I know what's cute', Alex said softly, taking position behind her, leaning down to kiss her bare shoulder. She slightly leaned in, enjoying his soft kisses on her skin. 'That's nice Mr. Ryan.' 'I knew you would like that Mrs. Ryan', he smiled still close to her skin. His big hands moved to her shoulders, shifting down. Stevie smiled as his fingers went down her arms. 'Did I say you look beautiful?' 'Oh just twenty times or so.' 'You're perfect', he whispered, placing another kiss.

_Girl are you ready, it's gonna be a long night  
Throw your clothes on the floor_

His hands moved to her dress as she leaned back, her head against his chest, looking up. His lips reached for hers, while his hands moved to the zipper of her dress. 'You're moving fast', she let out between kisses, while his hands moved her dress down her body. 'That's because you have a very easy dress.' 'I know', she turned around, her dress falling on the ground. 'Nice view', he remarked looking down on her body. She smirked at him, softly shaking her head, her hand sliding down his chest. 'Especially those cowboy boots', he grinned, seeing her only wearing her slip and her boots. 'Well I am your cowgirl, what else did you expect?' 'I think you exceed my expectations.' She nodded pleased, jumped into his arms as he lifted her.

Her legs around him, kicking her boots off a moment later. Her lips softly touched his. He almost mumbled something against them, but his lips seem to be to eager to respond her kiss. Alex tasted her, placing another kiss. One of Stevie's hands left his neck to pull his face closer, guiding it to a deep kiss. His tongue gently touched hers. Tender it started, getting more passionate with the second. Stevie held him as tightly as possible, exploring his mouth, knowing she could go on like this forever, still a light chocolate lingered in between.

Her fingers moved to his mouth, holding him back, as their lips parted. He gazed into her brown eyes, showing a sparkle. Alex could see her tasteful lips part; 'there's just one slight problem.' 'What?', he said with a soft delicate voice, which made her weak. 'I love you in your suit, very handsome, but I think it would be pretty fair if you join my status.' 'You think?' He raised his eyebrows teasingly, supported by a sexy smirk. 'It's more a demand.' She leaned back in his strong grip, pulling at the board of his shirt, struggling with his tie a moment later.

_Girl whatever you ask me, you know, I will do_

'Shall I help yah, cowgirl?' 'I would like that.' He moved her down; her hands sliding down his body. He tried to loosen his tie, following Stevie, when she walked to the bed. With a sexy move she sat down on it, glancing at him seducing. 'Are yah joining me Ryan?' Alex pointed at his tie, almost getting annoyed with it, but relieved when it finally went of. She demanded him to come closer and he eagerly obeyed her. Her teeth teasingly held back her lip, sitting on the edge of the bed on her knees, reaching for the buttons of his under jacket. He looked at her playful fingers, smoothly opening it, moving up to his shirt to do the same with its buttons. His hand played with her hair, making it fall down, seeking distraction while waiting ...

_I'm gonna take my clothes off too  
I made plans to be with you  
Girl your wish is my command  
I submit to your demands  
I will do anything, girl you need  
Only ask  
I'll make love to you  
Like you want me to_

... His hand stroked her hair back of her face, breathing out, moving down to hold her tight. She finally raised her head and looked at him with a smile of contentment. 'I love you'. He showed her a huge smile, a kiss upon her head as she lay her head down again. 'I love you too. I'm glad I could manage', she felt his chest support his soft laugh. 'Anything for my amazing wife', he said right after, deciding to stay quiet and just enjoy this feeling, this moment of satisfaction, holding her so tightly ...

_And I'll hold you tight  
Baby all through the night_

... Her eyelids were heavy when she was lying against his sweaty body. Stevie could still feel him stroke her hair. Alex sensed she was close to dreamland and leaned slightly down to place a kiss on her forehead. 'Good night cowgirl.'

_'Cause I'm keeping you  
Forever and for always  
We will be together all of our days  
Wanna wake up every  
Morning to your sweet face always_

The next morning Alex aroused by the light shining through the small opening between the curtains. He immediately felt his almost unfeeling arm under Stevie. She was curled up against him and he softly tried to move his arm away. When he finally could use it properly he leaned towards her with a huge smile on his face. So was so beautiful and sweet like this, he just couldn't resist touching her. So he gentle started to brush away her hair. Moving closer to place a soft kiss on her forehead. She moved slightly, but didn't seem to wake up. He licked his lips in amusement, moving the sheet a bit down her body; kissing her upper arm. In the meantime his fingers run down her body, feeling the perfect curves she owned. He could hear her moan to his touch. 'Alex', she remarked softly, still dazed.

_In your arms I can still feel the way you  
Want me when you hold me  
I can still hear the words you whispered  
When you told me  
I can stay right here forever in your arms_

Her body stirred and he smiled tenderly to her. 'What sweetheart?', he mumbled against her skin. 'What are you doing?', she asked with a playful smile. 'Just exploring my sexy wife on a lovely morning.' She rolled on her back and pulled him with her, which he eagerly replied with some kisses down her neckline. Her fingers stroke over the skin of his shoulder. 'Did I already said 'good morning'?', Alex whispered against her ear. She took his face in her hands and looked at him. 'Well you didn't say it, but I could feel it.' 'I see', Alex smiled, pulling up one eyebrow to tease ...

_And there ain't no way  
I'm lettin' you go now  
And there ain't no way  
And there ain't not how  
I'll never see that day_

... 'You know, I would like to continue', Alex spoiled the moment, making Stevie look down on him, 'but I'm starving'. 'How late is it?' She asked as he moved up. Alex turned away to look at his side table where luckily an alarm clock was placed. 'Just fifteen minutes till we get breaky.' Stevie nodded pleased, already moving closer to him. 'Fifteen minutes to play', she almost giggled. 'To play, hey', he grinned when he felt her body move against him. He immediately pulled her close and kissed her deeply. The got lost in their moment, till they shook up from a knock on the door.

'Time for breakfast. Are you two decent?', Marcus said from the other side of the door. 'Uhm decent?', Alex mumbled as Stevie rolled of, covering herself with the blanket, her cheeks slightly blushing. 'Uhm something like that', she yelled back. Marcus opened the door and served the breakfast. 'Good morning newlyweds. Here is your breakfast prepared by the lovely Regan McLeod. And by the way: your daughter slept like an angel tonight.' 'Yeah she always had good timing, she probably inherited that from her uncle', Alex mumbled. Stevie suppressed her smile. 'Honey I thought you wanted breaky?' She looked at him before she thanked Marcus, who knew it was probably best to get out as quick as possible.

Alex placed the plate in front of them. 'Let's see what our sister-in-law made us', Alex grinned, seeing toast, croissant, milk, cheese etc. on the plate. 'Looks good', Stevie concluded, moving up to stretched her arm to grab some food. 'Oeh chocolate croissants. She knows me too well.' Alex looked amused at her, getting himself some bread. They ate pretty quickly, Alex remarking that they could eat more after a shower.

Alex shoved the plate of the bed. 'Come', Stevie immediately kneeled up and offered her hand. 'You know we have all day, Stevie', Alex grinned pleased. 'I know, I just want you in the bathroom, right now.' 'Sounds like an order.' 'It is!', she tried to show him a serious look. 'I won't dare to say no to you.' 'I raised you so well', she chuckled. He followed her to the bathroom, his hand finally catching her waist ...

_Mmmm, baby  
In your heart I can still hear  
A beat for every time you kiss me  
And when we're apart,  
I know how much you miss me  
I can feel your love for me in your heart_

... 'Can I?', she asked, but he already pulled her sideways on his lap, holding her close. She just stared in his eyes, a content smile upon her face. Her hand softly caressed his face. 'I love you Alex.' 'You know what I hate?', he just started and she gave him an odd questioning look. 'That we could have done this years ago.' She started to smile at his words. 'It could, but maybe it wouldn't have been this good', she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 'It was worth the wait', she added looking back into his loving eyes.

_In your eyes I can still see  
The look of the one who really loves me  
I can still feel the way that you want  
The one who wouldn't put anything  
Else in the world above me  
I can still see love for me_

_I can still see love for me in your eyes  
I'm keeping you forever and for always  
In your arms_

**THE END (almost)**

Boys2men – I'll make love to you  
Shania Twain – Forever and for always


	72. The end

'Okay Leyden let's get you out of your crib onto daddy's chest', Alex said while he picked up his son.

'Have you seen Aislin's ducky?' Stevie asked, looking around Leyden's nursery room.

'Must be in the kitchen'.

Alex gave the six weeks old Leyden a kiss on his dark hair, noticing that Stevie was still searching the room with her eyes. With one arm he caught her attention.

'Relax, we'll find it.'

She glared at him as he pulled her closer.

'Your mummy is good in freaking out', Alex chuckled when his gaze moved from his son to his wife, who showed her annoyed teasing smile.

While Leyden seem to find his dad's chest perfect for a nap Alex leaned in to give Stevie a long soft kiss. Her hand quickly moved along his waist.

'I needed that', she said, pulling away to give him another quick kiss.

'I know', Alex smiled pleased at her.

Stevie caressed her son's head gently. 'Look how quiet he is'.

'Now he is', Alex smirked, 'and he's growing so quick'.

'That's cause he eats so much', Stevie complained with a grin; 'I guess he also has that from his daddy.'

Alex proudly looked down. 'Yeah Leyden will be so popular with the ladies for sure.'

Stevie shook her head. 'That, he doesn't have from his dad', she teased, placing a kiss upon Alex' cheek.

'Haha, so funny.'

'I'm gonna check downstairs, Rose has a date with Pat so I think she was hoping for us to leave soon.'

'Those two alone in our house, uhmz', Alex murmured. 'I like Pat a lot, but I'm not sure about that.'

Stevie let her hand slid down his body. 'It's nice to have a Brewer in the family. Wait till Aislin starts dating.'

'Oh please don't remind me of that; it will take at least another 30 years', Alex stated.

'They say she looks like me, so you can forget those 30 years', Stevie said teasing; while they made their way out of the nursery.

'Let's say what Uncle Marcus and Auntie Regan are up to Leyden', Alex said, closing the door.

**

* * *

**

**IS IT ANY WONDER?**

**Dedicated to **  
The stairs kissing scene

**In honor of **  
My beloved shipping

**Leading roles**  
Simmone Jade MacKinnon as Stevie Hall-Ryan  
Aaron Jeffery as Alex Ryan

**Supportive roles**  
Zoë Naylor as Regan McLeod  
Matt Passmore as Marcus Turner  
Dustin Clare as Riley Ward  
Brett Tucker as Dave Brewer

**Other roles**  
The cast of season 6 and 7

**Special appearances of**  
Carly Carter as Nurse Carter  
Lucas Neill as Dr. Neill  
Tim Cahill as Dr. Cahill  
Baby #1 as Aislin Louise Hall-Ryan  
Baby #2 as Leyden Alexander Hall-Ryan

**_Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!_**


End file.
